Tag Archives: marriage

The Great Communicator

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Communication is the key to all relationships including marriage. I believe I am a good communicator. As I told you previously, I like to ask questions (https://larrydbernstein.com/questions-questions/), am a curious type, and sensitive, which you have probably noted from reading this blog.

So, you’d think I’d have the marriage thing down – right? I’m good with the children, willing to clean, and arguably handsome. And I am a willing and skilled communicator.

CHALLENGES

Sounds good doesn’t it? Alas, I am sorry to say there are some challenges in our dream world. Like all of you, I am very busy and strive to keep on a schedule in order to get things accomplished. So, my time for communication is limited. Even when it comes to my wife and children.

EMERGENCIES

Now, if emergencies come up – BR is attempting to maim SJ, or SJ can not find the remote (he would definitely define that as an emergency), or my wife is considering ripping the eyes out of my son’s teacher – I make time. However, I try diligently to keep on a schedule and handle things in their proper time.

Picture courtesty of Google.Ahh - there's the remote. Emergency under control

                  Picture courtesy of Google.
Ahh – there’s the remote. Emergency under control

You can respect that – right? After all, it does make sense and permit for productivity. Generally this system works but lately a flaw has become more and more of an issue.

BED TIME

I tend to go to bed late – 11:30 pm — and wake up early — 5:30 am. Yadda, yadda, yadda, such is life. My wife, on the other hand, tends to complete her routine a bit earlier than me and likes to end her night by watching television in our room.  She’ll decompress in front of the television and ready herself to ease into a night of sleep (or at least pray that neither child wakes up and both sleep past 5).

By the time, I do my night time rituals – wash, brush, pray, etc. my wife is comfortable in bed and ready to turn off the light. She is tired from her long day and hoping to meet the sandman. I, however, am still revved up. And I want to talk (or other things, but let’s keep this rated PG). I want to communicate. I want to share. I want to listen. My wife reminds me, “I wanted to talk to you two hours ago, but you said you had work to do.” She’s right but that doesn’t change the fact I have now morphed into the great communicator.

So, these days half of our conversations take place while my wife is on the verge of sleep.  The conversation ends when she stops replying, and I hear her snores. Hmm, not such great communication is it? Well, at least we have date night.

Picture courtesy of GoogleHappy awake communicators - wouldn't that be nice!

                     Picture courtesy of Google
Happy awake communicators – wouldn’t that be nice!

 

The Joy of Ironing

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Today, I have Tatiana of Wonderland by Tatu as my guest. I have been following her blog for a while and enjoy it very much.

Tatiana graduated from the University of Brighton, UK with a bachelors in Management & Travel and worked as the Sales Manager at her father’s travel agency for 8 years. She left the agency a couple months before her first child was born. Tatiana and her husband N. have two children. The family lives in the suburbs of Athens.

She began blogging last August 2012. Her original intent was to share her crafts and recipes. However, her life took a bit of a turn, and she now writes about more personal everyday topics and finds it therapeutic and cleansing.
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In my previous (before kids) life, N. & I worked long hours and didn’t spend much time at home (apart from the weekends). Furthermore, the mess we created in a week was infinitely small in regards to THE MESS my kids create on a daily basis.

I am more than thankful for the cleaning fairy who comes once a week and tries to put my house back together. What she manages to do in 7 hours has earned my complete trust and utter respect. She has magic powers to make my house look impeccable. (By the way, please note if you are a friend feel free to visit us anytime. However, if you are a stranger and would like to be my friend, please schedule your visit us for Tuesdays after 3pm.)

Unfortunately her magic powers (and time) are used up before she has a chance to iron and therefore the much hated housework duty is left to me. I don’t consider myself to be an ironing geek or particularly talented in this field (my Greek grandmother would probably turn in her grave if she could see what I call ‘ironed’). So, I have decided that my time is too precious to waste on ironing everything, except for two things: N’s shirts & the family’s bedsheets (if you are an ironing freak please ignore the last sentence). You get the picture, right?

Woman IroningCourtesy of Google.com

Woman Ironing
Courtesy of Google.com

Being a stay at home mom and attending to my kids 24/7 has made me reconsider many things. In fact, sometimes I feel like a totally different person. I have matured and evolved as a person and my priorities have dramatically changed. Prior to being a mother, I was ignorant enough to think I had it all figured out because I had three adorable nieces whom I saw and spent time with for a couple of hours a couple times a week. HA! Please feel free to laugh. I couldn’t understand why Alex (my sister) was so absolute in denying me visitation rights when I came down with a cold. ‘So what?’ I thought to myself. Another thing I never understood was that there were times she wanted to flee the house and go do anything other than take care of her kids. ‘How could she?’ ‘They are so adorable’ I thought.

Well, I have stopped being such a-know-it-all considering motherhood bliss. Now, when reality punches me in the face, I often think back. You seem to know everything better up until the moment you go through a similar situation yourself.

I might not work anymore but I feel I am doing a pretty hard job at raising these kids 24/7. When I have to spend Mondays to Fridays practically alone (N. has been working a lot) I overdose on my kids. I am sorry but it is true. I need my time off. Everyone does. Therefore I wait for the weekend in full anticipation like any other working human being. I need to unwind and think of something else other than the kids. I never thought a time would come when I would say these words: ‘Sorry honey, I would rather iron.’

Popping

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Before the week began, I knew it would be a rough one.  There were things on the calendar that simply could not be avoided or handled in advance. Personal stuff, work stuff and more. I was just going to have to suck it up and get by. I have been getting less than five hours of a sleep a night. I know you’ve been there. I’m not asking for sympathy.As the week dragged on, I had one goal in mind: make it to the weekend. This Jew needs his restful Sabbath. However, I had much to do before I could make it to the promise land of the day of rest.

How could I make it? How could I get everything done? Well, I found a way. I’m popping now.

I don’t mean popping like my students say (well, that slang term doesn’t seem quite as popular. What’s poppin – meaning what’s going on?) No, I mean popping my drug of choice.

What? You heard me. I have gone off the wagon and on my drug of choice.

And what is my drug of choice? CHOCOLATE.

Way back, I mentioned my love for chocolate (https://larrydbernstein.com/tradition/). Now, I am not alone in this regards. A study showed that 97% of people prefer chocolate over other foods. Okay, I made that statistic up. However, empirical evidence, i.e. blog reading, tells me that I am nearly correct.

Anyway, this week has been different. See, my wife stashed away a bag of miniature chocolates, and I found them. And now I’m using. These little bars of heaven have gotten me through. They have been my raft that has allowed me to stay afloat during this overburdened week.

Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com/

Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com/

Let me give you an idea of my mindset: Was that a yawn? Pop a Snickers. Do I feel drowsy? Let me grab a Milky Way. Have I been working hard and just deserve something? Twix.

That sugar and caffeine bring me a joy and a rush. I can keep going. I can accomplish. It’s all good – a win, win.

Okay, I know this is not a long term solution. Next week is going to be busy too. And the bag of miniatures isn’t done. Hmmm. Well, I can quit the following week. I am in control. Gotta  go. A Three Musketeers bar is calling me.

Mickey Mouse Questions and Thoughts

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Walt Disney was a genius. No doubt. That little mouse he created has made him and his heirs billions of dollars. The mouse and his crew have brought joy to children for decades. Mickey Mouse is an American icon.

It seems like the Mickey Mouse Clubhouse television show is on perpetually in my house. I have tried to convince SJ, my six year old, he’s too old for the show and he should consider other programming options. He’s not budging.

So, while I was familiar with Mickey Mouse and his friends before this obsession – they are icons you know, I have gotten to know Mickey and crew on a deeper level over the last few months. This more frequent association has led me to a few questions and observations.

Let me run these Mickey Mouse questions and thoughts by you.

Why doesn’t Pluto get to talk? How come he walks on all fours and actually behaves like a dog, when Goofy gets to talk and stand erect? My wife decided that Goofy had a mother who advocated for him at school. I believe Pluto never got early invention.

Despite being able to walk and talk, Goofy is stupid. Sure, you would think this goes with the name, but he’s not goofy – he’s just dumb. I’m a teacher, and I understand such things. How many times does Goofy have to be told that to get a mouseketool, you have to say, “Oh toodles?” This leads me to question how Walt Disney felt about dogs. He must have been bitten by a dog at some point.

Then, there is Pete. SJ insists that he is a cat. I don’t know how he knows this. Also, is he a good guy or a bad guy? It seems to change with each episode. I find this confusing.

Donald Duck is generally just trouble. He adds little, always screws everything up, and is occasionally cranky.

Minnie is extremely girly and a good friend.

Daisy comes up with many good and helpful ideas. She is by far the smartest and most helpful in getting the job done.

Then, there is Mickey – the ring leader. He’s perpetually happy and goal oriented. This is Walt Disney’s version of a motivational speaker.

mickey

 

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http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XAxhy6xAAA4

Too many Mickey Mouse questions and thoughts. I think way too much about this. I may have lost it. I really have to get control of that remote.

Well, the Philadelphia sports teams have been poor this season, so maybe watching Mickey and crew is actually just what I need. As they say, “Come inside, it’s fun inside.”

By the way, maybe you can answer a question I have about Dr. Von Drake…