Communication is the key to all relationships including marriage. I believe I am a good communicator. As I told you previously, I like to ask questions (http://larrydbernstein.com/questions-questions/), am a curious type, and sensitive, which you have probably noted from reading this blog.
So, you’d think I’d have the marriage thing down – right? I’m good with the children, willing to clean, and arguably handsome. And I am a willing and skilled communicator.
Sounds good doesn’t it? Alas, I am sorry to say there are some challenges in our dream world. Like all of you, I am very busy and strive to keep on a schedule in order to get things accomplished. So, my time for communication is limited. Even when it comes to my wife and children.
Now, if emergencies come up – BR is attempting to maim SJ, or SJ can not find the remote (he would definitely define that as an emergency), or my wife is considering ripping the eyes out of my son’s teacher – I make time. However, I try diligently to keep on a schedule and handle things in their proper time.
You can respect that – right? After all, it does make sense and permit for productivity. Generally this system works but lately a flaw has become more and more of an issue.
I tend to go to bed late – 11:30 pm — and wake up early — 5:30 am. Yadda, yadda, yadda, such is life. My wife, on the other hand, tends to complete her routine a bit earlier than me and likes to end her night by watching television in our room. She’ll decompress in front of the television and ready herself to ease into a night of sleep (or at least pray that neither child wakes up and both sleep past 5).
By the time, I do my night time rituals – wash, brush, pray, etc. my wife is comfortable in bed and ready to turn off the light. She is tired from her long day and hoping to meet the sandman. I, however, am still revved up. And I want to talk (or other things, but let’s keep this rated PG). I want to communicate. I want to share. I want to listen. My wife reminds me, “I wanted to talk to you two hours ago, but you said you had work to do.” She’s right but that doesn’t change the fact I have now morphed into the great communicator.
So, these days half of our conversations take place while my wife is on the verge of sleep. The conversation ends when she stops replying, and I hear her snores. Hmm, not such great communication is it? Well, at least we have date night.