Sandy – From My Perspective

*** Please note this was written yesterday. Unfortunately,I was unable to post. Today, I am at family member’s house who has electricity. Therefore, I can post this and recharge all the electronics.

Like many, my family and I have been dealing with the storm that has ravaged the Eastern Seaboard. Thankfully, we are fine – inconvenienced but just fine. Rather than give you a play by play of occurrences I wanted to share a few snapshots.

-I did not pay any attention to the storm whatsoever until Friday. In fact, one of my students joked and asked when will the homework be due if school is canceled. I smiled, “We’ll worry about that when the time comes.”

-Shop Rite was packed Sunday morning at 8:45 a.m. when I arrived. They were already out of D batteries and had run out of flashlights. For all the difficulties this storm has caused, it was good for retail – at least it was prior to the storm.

– “You must not be afraid of heights,” my neighbor called out to me as I sat on my roof pushing leaves onto the grass. In fact, I spent nearly two hours cleaning out my gutters praying the predicted gusts were truly hours away as predicted. Actually, I am afraid of heights!

– Monday morning was eerie. With each drop and gust, I waited for it to get ‘serious.’  Along the way, my wife and I periodically watched the news. We both find it funny to watch the weather people who get stuck with the beach reporting job. Tell me, when they say everyone should evacuate, why is there always some poor person who gets stuck with that gig? You know what he/she is thinking – I better get that anchor position before next season.

– At 2:45 Monday afternoon, we lost power. Nothing dramatic occurred. One second the power was on and the next second it was off. There probably was a gust that preceded the loss in power, but I did not notice it.

-By 6:00 that evening, dinner, which consisted of left overs, was eaten and the black of dark had descended. The boys were fighting over our various lighting instruments. No surprise there. They both sleep with a light on.

-After watching a movie (Chitty Chitty Bang Bang – my wife wisely had charged the portable DVD player), the boys were ready for bed. We slept in the playroom, which is mostly underground. As we do not live especially close to water, Sandy was more about wind here than rain. Anyway, our campout – the euphemism we used for our children – was a bit rough.  After the children finally fell asleep, things were calm. At least they were inside the house.

– Walking up the stairs was scary.  The sounds of the wind howling, the sight of the shades blowing, and the trees swaying was rattling. I hurried back to the safety of the playroom.

– Before I went to bed, I looked out and watched the trees swaying. The trees were battered and looked as if they were a fighter who has taken too many hits. The tree scene in the 2nd Lord of the Rings movie went through my mind. I turned away in fear and concern.

-This morning we were awakened at 6:00 a.m. by SJ’s first bathroom trip. Apparently, we can sleep through a hurricane but not by a 5-year-old who needs to pee. I noted that the winds had nearly subsided.

-When light came up, I surveyed the damage from my living room window. On my block, two arbor majesties had lost the fight. Miraculously, no one was hurt and there was minimal property damage.

-“BR, how about some Cinnamon Toast Crunch and ice cream for breakfast?” What the heck – the ice cream wasn’t going to stay for much longer. We were going to use as much of the food as wisely as we could.

Now, it is after 3 p.m. though it feels much later. I have no idea what is going on as I have barely left my home (well, I am posting at neighbors – not everyone lost power). Each of us has gone through bouts of stir-craziness.  However, we are holding up well, but with another day off tomorrow, I am concerned.

To sum up, we are fine and fortunate. Thank G-d! However, it would be nice if Mr. Potts could lend us his flying car.

Want To Be There

“Okay, fine, good.” These are the answers I get when I ask my children about school. None of the responses – including the good – go along with enthusiasm. When I ask for more details, it is as if the children were trained by the CIA and refuse to give out information. However, there are those rare days when the children are excited about their school day. Those are great days, and I love to share their enthusiasm. SJ had just such a day on Monday.
I work 5 days a week. I am out of the house by 6 A.M. and return at approximately 4:45 (work often continues after the children are asleep). My wife works five days a week. For three of those days, she is in the city. She leaves just after she drops SJ off for school and returns home by 7 P.M. The two days she works from home she is expected to be working her standard eight hours.
I am thankful that we are both employed and have managed to stay so throughout the recession and the tepid recovery. We have not had to fret over bills (though I occasionally forget) and have not had our salaries reduced.  We have been fortunate. No complaints despite the long hours. That’s life, and we accept it.
When SJ gets excited, it is hard to understand what he is saying. He talks fast, and his details are all over the place. Yet, on Monday he was very clear. He was happily rambling on about a Thanksgiving Festival his school was going to be having. SJ informed me that BR, my wife, my mother, and I were all invited and there was room for everyone. He would be singing songs. There would be food for everyone. The details kept spilling out of the smile that was his mouth.
He was thrilled, so I was excited. Of course, I would go to see this grand performance. “When is it?” He had no idea.
“Come on daddy. Let’s look at the note in my back pack. They sent a note home for you.” He hurried down to the kitchen, opened his back pack, took out the note and gave it to me. He instructed, “Read it.”
I read the note and was sickened. The big event was on the Tuesday before Thanksgiving at 1:30.  Why? Why do they make these events, psyche the kids up, and then schedule them during the workday? Of course, the notice mentioned how we must reserve as the event has been a tremendous success in the past with many family members attending. How can they attend, I wondered? Don’t they have jobs, daily responsibilities?
I’m sure all of the parents have daily responsibilities. However, many find a way to fit this event into their schedule. But I can’t. I can’t go. I feel guilty. I feel like crap. I have a limited amount of days I can take off of work – like everyone else – and have used some already. My wife does not know if she can make it either as she is in the office on Tuesdays. Lastly, we don’t want to pull my other son out of school to attend. My mother, however, will be attending. Thankfully, she is retired and enjoys attending the children’s events.
So, SJ will have representation. Despite this, I am angry about being put in this situation. As a father and educator, I am thrilled to see my son excited about something at school. I am glad the school has gone to this effort which is motivating students (well, at least one). It is no one’s fault.
Sometimes, it really would be nice to be in two places at one time!

Missing Youth

“We’re not gonna take it. No, we ain’t gonna take it. We’re not gonna take it anymore,” Twisted Sister.

Eurorail train schedules, Let’s Go Europe, and maps surrounded the unemployed 23 year old. He was planning out his backpacking through Europe summer. Responsibility and reality be damned. The epitome of freedom and youth.

“Larry,” my father shouted as he came into my room undetected.

I jumped, “Oh, hi dad.’

“Does the music have to be so loud?”

“Sorry.” I turned down the music.

“What is all the stuff,” he motioned at the paraphernalia that decorated my floor.

“Planning my summer trip.”

“Oh.” He shook his head, half smiled, and walked away after reminding me to keep the music lower.

I looked at the information around me, contemplated my looming weeks long trip, and considered my unemployed status. I felt guilty. Then, I got over it.

Yesterday, I was assisting a girl with her college application essay. During the tutoring session, she started talking to her mother. “Mommy,” she said “I am going create an empire.” She was certain that the business she had recently begun was bound for big things. I raised my eyebrows but said nothing. Her mother smiled a yes dear smile. The girl bubbled on so proud of her declaration that she wrote it down.

Another college recruiter visited my senior class. He talked about his school and how attending there will enable the students to achieve their academic goals. This of course will enable them to fulfill their dreams. Never mind the 70 average.

“I’m happy she is getting a chance to go away,” she explained. “But when I dropped her off, I felt a little jealous.”  So my fellow writer said at a recent writer’s group meeting. She clearly felt a little guilty. There was no need to apologize as the rest of us – parents with children in various stages – shook our heads feeling the same such feelings.

It’s not youth we want. It’s the unbound enthusiasm. It’s the certainty that everything is not only possible but a mere question of when.

I wish good things for my tutee, my students, and my co-writer’s daughter. I hope they achieve big and great things. They are in an amazing and exciting stage in their lives.

By the time you reach a certain age, there is some level of stuckness (I know it’s not a word, but it so fits). Whatever you’re level of contentment – nice family, decent job, comfortable home – choices have been made, life is being lived, and dreams come in size small.

The world is not our oyster. It’s not free for the taking. As adults, we know this. Lumps can and will be doled out. I, for one, am okay with that. I will cope and be happy for the dreams of the kids around me, hopeful about fulfilling my goals, and content with the wisdom I have gained.

Putting Feelings Aside

My work week began at 5:36 AM Monday morning. I quickly turned off the alarm (I don’t think I have ever hit snooze in my life) and arose. As I walked to the bus 16 minutes later, I had a headache and felt groggy. For a moment, I thought it was Friday.

Three straight 5 hour nights later, and my long week is nearly over. This is my first 5 day work week in nearly a month, so I can’t complain. Well, of course, I can, but I don’t like complaining. I don’t even like hearing myself complain, so what’s the point?

Grades were due today. The first marking period is always rough. It includes less days, I take off days to celebrate the holidays, and the first few days are all about paperwork and diagnostics. Inevitably, there is a logjam of work at the end of the term.

To be blunt: my pass rate sucked! Students did not get the work done despite my extensions, pleadings, and phone calls. I am disappointed, frustrated, and annoyed. I can come up with many reasons why the students did not hand in their work. Ultimately, that is not comforting.

There is an old saying that if you reach one child then you are doing your job. It is a depressing saying and any teacher that cares would be disappointed with those types of results. I am more than confident that I have reached multiple students. It’s pretty easy to see when students want to hang out in your classroom just because that they feel comfortable. Still, it does not feel like enough. I am nearly certain that the school administration is not going to be content with that level of success either.

I can continue feeling bad, guilty, and complaining. However, I don’t want to. It’s not fair to me, my family, or my friends. I will put away the negative feelings (as best I can) and strive to enjoy my life. I don’t want to let the disappointment in one part of my life poison the other parts of my life. It is not easy to do – I am not talking about widgets here – but kids with families that love them and want the best for them.

Today as I walked to the subway, I enjoyed the beautiful weather. When October brings such a gorgeous day, it must be appreciated. Who knows how many more are left in the season?

So, you see I am learning a lesson from my students. They take bad news and seem bothered till the bell rings. At that point, they go through the halls slapping hands, talking, and laughing with their friends. In other words, they know how to put their feelings aside and enjoy the moment.

We all will worry about it till tomorrow.

I am looking forward to enjoying the night with my wife and kids.