I could be a deadbeat dad. It wouldn’t matter.
Cause at this point, my children don’t need me.
No, they’re not paying the bills or picking up the groceries (they rarely pick up the toilet seat) or maintaining the car.
Anyway, they don’t need me.
And they know it.
Don’t believe me? Let me give you an example.
Remember when your children ran to the door when you came in. They yelled out daddy or mommy. They hugged you as if you were a lifeboat, and they were adrift at sea.
Yeah that hasn’t happened in I don’t know how long. Seriously – WAY PAST THAT STAGE!
I’m lucky if they actually get up to answer the door.
Here’s what BR is thinking when I knock at the door. I don’t hear anything. Maybe, I do hear something. I’ll just ignore it. Let someone else get it.
SJ would rather not get up from what he is doing. Yet, he feels more obligated. Bless his 8-year-old self. Yeah, I give it another year or two. Anyway, when the actually answers the door, I walk in. All I see is his back as he is running off to continue doing whatever it was he was doing before I disturbed him.
Do you know Ed Sheeran? Ed Sheeran has a song out now called ‘Thinking Out Loud.’ The song is understated and his voice is sultry. It’s the type of song I often like. But I can’t listen to ‘Thinking Out Loud.’
It’s a love song, and I can’t listen to love songs anymore – not this type of long song anyway.
This love song is like:
- drinking syrup straight from the bottle
- having five donuts in a row.
- eating a spoonful of sugar
It’s like… Well, you get the point.
It’s too damn sweet.
No, I’m not a curmudgeon or crotchety or a tired old fart.
I am, however married. My wife, Ms. MMK, and I have been married 13 years.
And we have a solid marriage.
While 13 years is hardly an eternity, it’s long enough to have learned some things.
I take myself seriously. Maybe, too seriously sometimes. If you’ve hung around here awhile, you may have come to the same conclusion.
Anyway, when I say I give you my word, I make every effort to follow through. If somehow I don’t manage to do it… well, guilt and questioning will surely follow.
Twice a week, a tutor comes to the house to work with my children on Judaic studies. The tutor is very nice, and the boys like her. SJ meets with her first every session, and BR goes second.
The other day the boys and I were driving home from school. The subject of SJ going first for tutoring came up. I asked BR to go first for once.
You are gathered with your people, your tribe. Maybe, it’s a holiday, birthday, or a dinner. Everyone is there. But who is your everyone? Who is in your circle? And is that circle perfect? Is every point on the circle equidistant from the center? Are they all huddled together and forming one complete line?
One thing this life guarantees is that over time your everyone will change. The circle will change.
Maybe as a child, your circle was your grandparents, parents, siblings, aunts, uncles, cousins, and best friends. And as you moved on in life, your spouse, children, and in-laws joined that circle. Your everyone grew. The circle widened.
But our circles also fall into themselves.