Tag Archives: poor communication

The Great Communicator

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Communication is the key to all relationships including marriage. I believe I am a good communicator. As I told you previously, I like to ask questions (https://larrydbernstein.com/questions-questions/), am a curious type, and sensitive, which you have probably noted from reading this blog.

So, you’d think I’d have the marriage thing down – right? I’m good with the children, willing to clean, and arguably handsome. And I am a willing and skilled communicator.

CHALLENGES

Sounds good doesn’t it? Alas, I am sorry to say there are some challenges in our dream world. Like all of you, I am very busy and strive to keep on a schedule in order to get things accomplished. So, my time for communication is limited. Even when it comes to my wife and children.

EMERGENCIES

Now, if emergencies come up – BR is attempting to maim SJ, or SJ can not find the remote (he would definitely define that as an emergency), or my wife is considering ripping the eyes out of my son’s teacher – I make time. However, I try diligently to keep on a schedule and handle things in their proper time.

Picture courtesty of Google.Ahh - there's the remote. Emergency under control

                  Picture courtesy of Google.
Ahh – there’s the remote. Emergency under control

You can respect that – right? After all, it does make sense and permit for productivity. Generally this system works but lately a flaw has become more and more of an issue.

BED TIME

I tend to go to bed late – 11:30 pm — and wake up early — 5:30 am. Yadda, yadda, yadda, such is life. My wife, on the other hand, tends to complete her routine a bit earlier than me and likes to end her night by watching television in our room.  She’ll decompress in front of the television and ready herself to ease into a night of sleep (or at least pray that neither child wakes up and both sleep past 5).

By the time, I do my night time rituals – wash, brush, pray, etc. my wife is comfortable in bed and ready to turn off the light. She is tired from her long day and hoping to meet the sandman. I, however, am still revved up. And I want to talk (or other things, but let’s keep this rated PG). I want to communicate. I want to share. I want to listen. My wife reminds me, “I wanted to talk to you two hours ago, but you said you had work to do.” She’s right but that doesn’t change the fact I have now morphed into the great communicator.

So, these days half of our conversations take place while my wife is on the verge of sleep.  The conversation ends when she stops replying, and I hear her snores. Hmm, not such great communication is it? Well, at least we have date night.

Picture courtesy of GoogleHappy awake communicators - wouldn't that be nice!

                     Picture courtesy of Google
Happy awake communicators – wouldn’t that be nice!

 

Please Come Back

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It’s enough.

But it’s still on my mind.

Don’t bore your readers.  They’re tired of hearing you talk about this.

But aren’t you supposed to write what is on your mind? Isn’t that how the best blog posts get written?

I guess so. But consider your audience.

I do consider them, but I need one more entry, and I think it will be out of my system.

—

I’m sorry. Did you hear that? It was a conversation I was having with my writer self. I recently read about someone else conversing with their muse over at a blog – authenticlifejourneys.com I follow (and recommend by the way).

Anyway, the storm and its affects are still on my mind. You see my family and I are still without power. I know, I know – so many people are really suffering while we are just inconvenienced.  I understand and feel bad for complaining.  However, last night the temperature got below 50 in my house while the darkness descended by 5. It was a long cold night and I am sick of this! I want my life back.

This weekend was a tease. We spent the weekend at my mother’s condominium. Heat, light – ahh the comforts of modern life.  It was beautiful and so appreciated.  It was hard to leave. I prayed that when we got home, and the electric would be back on.

No such luck. The electric company (PSEG) said we would be back by Sunday at midnight, then Monday at midnight, and then Tuesday at midnight. The have a PDF with each county and when the power will come on at each place. If they can predict it with such accuracy, why can’t they just make it faster? I’m sure they are doing their best but that does not take away the frustration.

I have been moving slowly since the storm has hit. This is not like me – I’m a doer. I make lists. I accomplish.  And now Sandy has struck, and everything has changed. Life has taken on a Ms. Havisham like pace.

I woke up last night somewhere in the early a.m. after dreaming of warmth.  I popped my head out from under my covers hoping that the heat had come on. The chill that hit my nose put reality in my face. I readjusted my hat and snuggled against the flannel sheets.

In the meantime, I am back at work and the children are back at school. We will return home as if it was a normal day. Then the darkness will descend, and we will be left sitting and hoping that tonight will be the night when normality truly returns.  I am tired of this!

 

Reject Me!!!

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Sometimes in life we face rejection. I know positive-thinking types might say something like, “Well, you learn as much as or more from your failures as you do from your successes.” They may have a point. However, rejection still sucks. Yet, I crave rejection.

A few years ago, I initiated the YOC. YOC stands for year of communication. I was tired of the irony that–despite the incredible ease and multiple outlets for communication–people seem worse at communicating. One of my very few type A personality traits is returning calls/emails/texts etc. expediently. I don’t accept someone saying I was too busy to get back to you. Do you know anyone who is not busy these days? Okay, there may be a couple, but you know what I mean. There is always time for a two-line email or an 8-word text. “Crazy busy over here. Talk to you soon.” I am perfectly content with that type of rejection. So, go ahead friends/family – reject me.

There was a point that I was considering switching schools. Fortunately, I was able to get some interviews. Unfortunately, none of the interviews materialized into jobs. It’s okay. That’s life. I can move on. Really, I can. But something about the process pissed me off. I took time out of my schedule to prepare myself, come to you, answer your questions, and send you a thank you. Is it too much to expect a rejection letter? Tell me no thanks, good luck, and see you never. Yeah, I can easily get over the lack of communication, but it’s not cool dude. Not cool. Just reject me.

One of my goals this summer was to send off some of my work in the hopes of getting it published. I did have a touch of success and a couple of misses (including one where the publication simply publishes the winners without letting the rest of us know we were not chosen). The rest of my submissions – to quote the band Genesis – “No Reply at All.” Now, some (hopefully all) will be contacting me shortly to let me know that they received my submission. The editors will tell me my work blew them way. Ok, maybe not. I can handle it. A writer with thick skin (well, at least not reed thin) – can you believe it? Anyway, reject me.

I feel better now that I have gotten this off of my chest. In fact, I am ready to scream reject me. Just don’t ignore me.

Brilliant Idea

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*See below

I have a business idea, and I need your help. That help could simply be through your verbal support and encouragement or though your financial backing. Both levels of support would be most beneficial. I can ensure you a great return on your money. Let me give you some background.

This past week was a crappy sleeping week for my children and therefore it was crappy sleeping for my wife and I. You have all been there done that and probably posted about it at least once yourself. We all do it. So, there is no use complaining about it. Therefore, the question turns to what are you going to do about it? I don’t mean just drink coffee (I don’t EVEN like coffee, but that’s not the point) or try and find time to grab a quick nap. I am thinking a more long term solution. Real action!

Here it is – drum roll for my brilliant idea please – KIDDIE KENNEL. A kid kennel is for those times when you absolutely need to get rid of your kids. I don’t mean babysitting for an hour. No, I mean for a few days, weeks if you must, at a time. I am not judging. We don’t judge at Kiddie Kennel. Anyway, can you imagine the commercial?

You have a picture of a parent or parents who are looking stressed and disheveled. Kids crying, kids fighting, kids waking up in the middle of the night, etc. The parent(s) can’t take it anymore. Rather than snapping or having the kids watch hours upon hours of television, they just pack a bag and drive them off to the Kiddie Kennel. When they get to the kennel, they drop the child off with a suitcase and a friendly, responsible, and safe-looking individual takes the child off the parent’s hands. The parent turns around, sighs, and heads back to the car.

In the next clip, the parent(s) is at home. They parent(s) hears birds chirping, gets work accomplished, wakes up refreshed, and even engages in some nocturnal activities with their spouse. Later, the parent(s) returns to Kid Kennel. They again meet the friendly, responsible, and safe individual who shakes their hand and returns the kids, who are all smiles. Everyone is happy.

Tell me that is not a brilliant idea. Tell me you would not like a Kid Kennel in your neighborhood. Tell me you would not utilize the services of Kid Kennel. Of course you would! Wow, I have finally done it. This is my Apple. I’m going right to the top, baby. Oh yes, and I am offering you a chance to invest in this seminal shift in child rearing. No need for thanks.

So, tell me are you interested?

*Of course, this is tongue in cheek. I would never want this for my children. No, never. Really.