Tag Archives: inspirational

The Journey to 100!

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My father used to love to watch Willard Scott wish people Happy 100th birthday. While he missed out on the magical triple digit by 35 years, he still appreciated the number. I suppose it was the accountant in him. Anyway, something about 100 is magical. Television shows like to celebrate their 100th episode. In fact, if you google 100th episode, you will note 14 million responses. It generally occurs in the 5th season and means syndication and money. I like those 100th episodes – it’s the ‘look-back’ episode. You watch it and find yourself saying things like, “Wow they were young,” or “That episode was hilarious,” and “I remember that one.” Again, something about the number 100 seems to be meaningful.

Well, on that note, this is my 100th blog entry. It has been just over 10 months since I entered the blogosphere. I have learned a few things in that time. Firstly, there are so many good writers out there. I am on WordPress all the time (every one of my computers pulls up WordPress as soon as I hit the letter W) reading other people’s blogs. Many of them are touching, funny, sad, uplifting, or some combination. As there seem to be more women than men blogging, I have also learned about my wife. She is not the only mom who is crazy for her kids and sometimes just plain crazy. Anyway, I subscribe to a number of blogs and enjoy each post sent. However, there are three blogs that I want to mention in particular.

robertjhorton: The blog is actually entitled My Secret Garden. Based on his blog, Robert is a very busy person and somehow finds a way to blog every day. It is definitely worthwhile reading as he spans many topics. Each post is well written and often thoughtful and funny.

allthingsboys: I can especially appreciate this blog as I come from a family of all boys and my wife and I have two ourselves. I also like that this blog talks about kids older than mine – I get a sense of the future. Uh-oh!

linneann: The blogger is a very talented writer who often touches on very personal topics and handles each in a compassionate and sensitive way. I also appreciate the awesome comments she has made on my blog.

One of biggest reasons I started my blog is for the opportunity to have people read my work and get feedback. I LOVE when people make comments and I so very much enjoy the dialogue that often ensues. So, I would like to think all of you that have stopped by and given this blog a look see. I especially appreciate those who are followers. It amazes me that some read each entry and look forward to it. Awsome, just awesome.

Three people were especially helpful and encouraging when it came to starting the blog. Firstly, my wife has encouraged me to write a blog for a long time, “You’d be good at it.” She was right though she may regret it now as I don’t know if she is quite as comfortable being ‘out there’ as I am. By the way, she is also an incredibly talented editor. A friend of mine, R, also had been encouraging me to start a blog. He gives excellent feedback. Don’t worry buddy – I’ll get to a website one of these days. Lastly, a friend of mine who I met last summer – A – insisted. He pushed me to start a blog and would not take no for an answer. He is a very motivational person, and I appreciate the help he has given me.

Lastly, I thank my children – BR & SY. They are my inspiration.

Now, for those who may be reading for the first time, welcome. For you and longer time readers, I will catch you up a bit – kind of like they did on Grey’s Anatomy.

1. I am amazing at food shopping – possibly the one skill where I have Olympian-like potential.

2. I still have not been back to the doctor and am not looking forward to that ‘moment.’

3. I have grown more attached to my phone but am still not cell phone obsessed.

4. I have yet to hang the kitchen door in my house.

5. I am still sleep deprived like every other parent of young children.

Well, you are sort of caught up. I hope each of you will continue to stay tuned to memyselfandkids. What the hell – tell a friend. Keep the comments coming and THANKS.

What’s in a Memory?

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What’s your first memory? Your most recent memory? Too distracted to remember what you had for dinner last night (mac ‘n cheese here – a staple in my house). Are you so busy that you have to think twice to remember your name? I have been thinking lately about memory and why some moments stick and turn into memories and others fade away.

During a recent episode of Modern Family, the old man that the young boy Luke was friendly with died. Luke’s dad, Phil, is inspired to spend time with his daughter, Alex, so that she can have memories of him and of things they did together. They spend the day engaging in activities that he hopes will forge their bond. They end up at a restaurant, and their waitress appears ready to give birth at any moment. Phil goes through some outrageous hijinks, hoping to induce labor, and thus a memorable event. Ultimately, Alex comforts her dad saying that she will remember the day just because it was the day her dad tried so hard to make a memory for the two of them.

Last week, I watched the movie The Breakfast Club with my 10th grade class. It was in support of a book we are reading, The Perks of Being a Wallflower by Stephen Chbosky. The book (sort of like a modern day Catcher in the Rye) and the movie are both set in high school. It got me to thinking about my own high school days. I didn’t get all that much out of my high school years. I was shy and awkward and was a bit of a wallflower myself. Ironically, I did not particularly like high school, and now, I am a high school teacher. Anyway, this book and movie make me wish I had gotten more out of high school and made more/better memories.

I recently read a blog talking about a pending move to the suburbs. The writer was partly excited and partly nervous. I can empathize. Next month will mark 5 years since my wife and I made our move to the suburbs. What do I remember about our apartment in the city? Many things actually – sitting there together only days before our wedding and dreaming all good things about our life together, coming home after our wedding, going to the hospital with my wife the night before our son was born and many more – some good and some not so good.

Last week, I saw my cousin who lives in Israel. I had not seen him in years; my first memories are when he was just a toddler. An innocuous memory I have of him popped into my head. I shared it with him, and he smiled politely, not knowing what to say and obviously not remembering the moment I was referring to.

My 8-year-old son (BR) is learning how to ride a bike. It’s proving particularly difficult – lack of balance? lack of patience? I remember when one of my older brothers taught me how to ride a bike. It was a sunny day. I remember feeling proud of myself and grateful to him. So, I am excited to see my son begin riding on his own and hope it will be meaningful to him. I watched BR next to my younger son (SJ). They were together and smiling. I stared happily at my children and tried to burn the vision onto my human CD drive/brain. Maybe it worked, and it will be part of my memory. I don’t know.

I still don’t know what makes a memory. I’m pretty sure it’s a lot of things that can’t be quantified. For now, I’ll listen to that Bon Jovi song, Make A Memory, and try to run through that CD of a brain of mine another time.

Trying to Make it a Habit

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We all go through phases or trends. I’m sure some of us look at pictures and wonder “What the hell was I thinking?” as they examine their clothes, hairstyles, or girl/boy friends. We all have gone through “my parents are dumb” phases, “love is all you need” phase, “I can really make it as a clown” phase (or something like that).  Anyway, the question that is on my mind is when does a phase or trend become a habit?

Exercise. Hearing that word for some brings a smile and thoughts of invigoration, firm figures, and endorphins clicking. Then, there are the rest of us. I think of a Doctor in his/her white coat – maybe a finger wagging – and telling the patient “Now, remember Mr./Mrs. Normal, you have to exercise. I know we talked about this last year. You have to exercise at least 20 minutes a day five times a week or you will get further out of shape, contract a horrific disease, and die young.  Any questions? Have a nice day and see the receptionist on the way out.” Mr./Mrs. Normal exits, determined to change, and wondering about their life insurance.

In terms of exercise, well, I always take the steps and walk to and from the train or bus. I love to play basketball when I get a chance. I’ve always reasoned to myself that that was enough. After all, I am pretty good shape and my weight is good. Then there is my wife and kids – no they are not truly related. While family responsibilities keep me busy, in this case, it’s just an excuse. No more!  I am proud to say I have made some changes. Since just before New Year’s, I have been working out – really. My 25-minute workout includes the stationary bike, sit-ups, stretches, and curls. While I am still 5 1/4 short of a 6 pack, I feel good. No, not like one of those commercial testimonials that come on during the middle of the day. I feel stronger and a sense of accomplishment.

Have I made the workout a habit? I don’t know. I also don’t know what the doctor will say at the end of my visit. I’m curious. The more motivation the better.

Unity

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I always look forward to the Sabbath – it is a respite, an oasis of calm in an otherwise hectic life. It is a time for family, good food, rest, and learning. I truly love the Sabbath day. However, this past Sabbath was particularly special. It was one of those times where we get reminded of the good that we have.

This past Sabbath, the synagogue I attend hosted an event which brings together 8th grade students from a local day school and members (along with their advisors) of an organization, Yachad, that works with disabled people. The disabilities could be physical or mental and differ in terms of severity. The purpose of the retreat seems to be to give parents of the disabled children some assistance and even more importantly to give the kids a chance to socialize with others while the day school students are inculcated with an understanding and appreciation for those with challenges.

My family and I hosted a Yachad member and his advisor. A few moments before the Sabbath began, a short 13-year-old boy with some sort of mental challenges and his advisor, a soft spoken college student came into our home. After quick introductions, the two – boy and advisor – proceeded to ready for the Sabbath. The boy had a propensity for kissing and did it almost indiscriminately. In fact, the advisor said, “Sometimes he just kisses people. I’ll try and control him, but it is probably going to happen.” I reassured him that it was fine. We could deal with affection just fine, thank you.

In the approximately 15 minutes from the time the boy and his advisor arrived till we drove to Synagogue, my 8-year-old came up the stairs and said “the boy keeps kissing me. He really likes me. I think he loves me.” My 5-year-old actually shared his trains and any other toy that the boy was interested in playing with. The boy’s displays of affection and interest in my younger son’s toys had not bothered my children at all. I could not have been prouder.

Our close contact with the guests was limited as over the next 25 hours or so, they spent most of their time at the synagogue as part of the retreat. They had meals, singing, and dancing together with the 8th graders. However, during the limited time I did have some opportunities to observe and speak to the advisor. The explained that he knew the boy as he had served as his advisor at a summer camp specifically for the Yachad kids. His patience and diligence served him well and the bond between the two was clear. The advisor who was exhausted by the end of Sabbath mentioned how he would like to go into Social Work. He clearly has the temperament and makeup for this type of work. I tried talking to the boy but had limited success. One thing, however, was clear – he enjoyed himself immensely.

So, this Sabbath was special for all the usual reasons and for many more. The special feelings generated during prayer were palpable. The willingness and desire for everyone to be united together — the Yachad — was touching for us all.