Who Did I Sleep with Last Night?

Seth Rogen

Seth Rogen – that guy always makes me laugh.
Courtesy of PhotoPin.com

I know that sentence could be part of a movie where guys are all called dude and they are comfortable at the frat house getting drunk on beer. Of course, Seth Rogen would have a role in it.

By the way, as you well know, I am married. I also know that adultery is right up there in on the Mount Rushmore of sins. And I don’t believe in the Dick Van Dyke separate bedrooms for spouses kind of thing.

However, I still want to know who slept in my bed last night?

My boys are not babies. 7 and 9 they are. They are generally happy, energetic, wild, and crazy. Yup. Normal that is.

BR, my 9-year-old can sleep through a storm. Really.  He woke up refreshed the night we were huddled in the basement as Hurricane Sandy bore down on our area.

However, putting him to sleep is another story. It can be a process.  Well, at least we get to have some bonding time.

SJ actually tells us he is ready to go bed. How beautiful is that?

By 10:00 P.M., my house is essentially a kid free zone.  My wife and I are free to do adults things – Whether its watch tv, go on the computer, have a conversation (nice to practice that fine art without interruption), or something more exciting – without interruption.

It’s the down time that everyone – especially crazed parents – need at the end of the day.

Except for some business trips, my wife and I have start every night together in the same bedroom.

Yet, over the past two weeks something has changed.

Morning comes. The alarm rings. I turn and my wife is gone.

Dun, dun, dun. Where has she gone?

Before I can say Perry Mason, I realize I have someone else in my bed.

No, it’s nothing like that. Come on now people, where are your minds? You really need to watch less cable.

Anyway, there’s bulge in the covers at the base of the bed. Or there’s a head leaning on my elbow. Or my blanket is in a jumble.

Who is behind all this nocturnal activity?

Yup, of course you know. It’s my offspring, fruit of my loins, and the cause of my baldness.

The boys have snuck into our bedrooms more often the last couple of weeks than Romeo went to meet Juliet.

Seriously, I think we should have a sign in book at the door to trace the activities.

Regarding these nocturnal visits, there are two huge differences between my wife and I.

First as you noted, I am still waking up in my bed.  A wrecking ball would have to smash through our bedroom window before I am giving up my bed. I need my sleep.

The second thing you may have noted is that I don’t discover we have guests until the next morning. My wife who falls asleep faster than Usain Bolt runs the 100 meters wakes up nearly as easily. “Did a feather just fall?”

Yes, the boys have woken me up a few times over the last couple of weeks and many more over the years. However, I don’t get up.

And yes, I did suck during those years when babies have to be fed during the middle of the night. I’ll take the mid-day feeding thank you very much.

I hope this phase is nearly over and the boys will spend the entire night in their bed. It’s best for them, my wife and me.

Oh yeah, to answer the burning question, my wife gets up and goes to sleep in one of the boy’s bedrooms.  Ain’t that a shame that she has to get up in the middle of the night.

Come to think of it, with a bed of her own, she might be the smartest one of the bunch.

Have You Ever Heard of Facebook?

Social Media Logos

Social Media Logos courtesy of Flickr.com

 

I’m pretty sure you’ve heard of Facebook. Shoot unless you just washed up out of the sea like the Madison the Mermaid Darryl Hannah character from Splash, you heard of Facebook.

There’s only about 2 billion people who have Facebook accounts.  Remember how McDonalds says over a billion served. Well, that wouldn’t be enough to serve all the people with Facebook accounts.

I’m just trying to help you get your arms around those numbers.

Anyway, there is big news here on MMK. MMK now officially has a Facebook account. I know that doesn’t quite make it up there on the news with the moon landing, or Who Shot JR, or the latest Kanye video.

However, around these parts, it’s big news. I’ve debated doing this for a while. In fact to be honest, I have had a Facebook page for a few months. I just didn’t publicize the page.

It’s time to change all of that.

Let me come clean. I have issues with social media. I am not even sure how to articulate them.

“What’s on your mind?” is perpetually located on the Facebook site. But I rarely feel a need to share. The thought often goes through my mind – who cares? In reality, I’m kind of a private person. There are times when I would like my own island.

Let me guess what you’re thinking. “Uhh, MMK you’ve been blogging for nearly 2.5 years and have nearly 300 posts (holy crap!). You’ve shared some very personal stuff that now is floating around in cyberspace.” That’s all true.

Yet, when it comes to my blog, I take snapshots of my life, thoughts, etc. and choose very carefully before pushing publish. And even then, I consult Ms. MMK to see if I have gone too far. Sometimes, we disagree about what is okay to be made public. Anyway, the point is that the blog is highly controlled and limited. Know what I mean?

On top of my wacky inconsistent privacy rules, I am incredibly conscious of time.

I’m sure we all know people who are actively engaged in Twitter, Pinterest (know anyone like that Ms. Fox) Instagram, etc. Of course that doesn’t include Facebook and LinkedIn.  One question – how the hell do people find time to make the moments that they are always sharing?

Maybe, it’s me. Somehow the world is passing me by. Shit, I’m over 40. Am I dinosaur? I hope not.

Let me back up here. I do have a personal Facebook account and actually go on it occasionally (mostly for my dad bloggers group – thanks Oren Miller). I have a LinkedIn account. And oh yeah, there’s that blog thing that I have posted to twice daily for nearly two and a half years.

I don’t have a big point here. However, I am issuing a call to action. Click here to check out my new Facebook page: www.facebook.com/Writings.of.Larry.Bernstein.  Check out the new cover page – thanks R.L.

So, I am joining 2 billion people who also have Facebook pages. I may not change the world, but I will be active and have some fun. So, make sure to like me (like me, really like me), join the conversation and let me know what you’re thinking. Thanks for coming along for the ride.

Who knows – maybe Twitter is next?