Tag Archives: reflections

Gross Out: Don’t Read During Dinner

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At the end of this post, you will be either grossed out or laughing. Or both. If you have a sense of humor similar to mine, you will probably feel both. Proceed if you wish but consider yourself forewarned.

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Last week my blogging friend over at http://motherhoodisanart.com/ wrote a post entitled Getting My Report Card as a Parent. Melissa mentioned that as parents we get reviews or report cards. However, she said, the closest thing to a review is when we bring our kids for their doctor checkups and dentist appointment. Melissa is clearly worried about how the doctor will see her children and is certain the dentist would give her a C if he/she could. She does not have her kids floss.

Are you kidding? I exchanged some emails with Melissa. If flossing is the criteria, I would get an F. My kids brush their teeth twice a day – as long as they are reminded bugged threatened. It’s not that they are dirty children. It’s just that they are boys. They are not especially worried about dirt. To their further detriment, they are my boys.

I have told you numerous times that I lack patience. Any patience I do have is often taken up at work. By the time I get home, I am certainly patience challenged. Well, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree.

My children don’t have time to thoroughly brush their teeth. They have other things they want to do – watch television, play on the computer, build Lego, vroom Thomas trucks, etc. See, these other things are clearly more important. Ten seconds a brushing – that ought to do it is their attitude. I tried to make up a catchy tune to get them to be more thorough – up and down, all around and all over the place. Okay it may not be especially catchy – I am neither Lennon nor McCartney – but my mediocre at best voice makes these words sound not terrible. However, the desired affect is not there.

I think I know what you are thinking. While uncouth, this is far from disgusting. Your own boys may be in the same dirty boat. Well, I am not finished.

If you walk into any of our 2 ½ bathrooms, you will find wipes. Yes, both boys were on the later end of potty training. However, both are, thankfully, well past that stage. They are patient enough to sit and take care of their business. However, that is about where their patience ends. Wiping. Whose got time for wiping? This bathroom hastiness clearly goes beyond tooth brushing. One wipe, maybe two is about all they have time for.

Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com/

Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com/

This hasty retreat from the bathroom can lead to malodorous results. And, no I am not talking about farting.

So, Melissa, if the doctor was giving me a grade for my parenting I’m certain it wouldn’t be good. Dirty butts – I’m not even on the parenting chart.

Not So Independent

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Wag your finger and read the following: “If every kid jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”

Everyone heard this from their mother or father and maybe now you say it to your kids. Not so original but the idea behind is meaningful. Don’t be a sheep. Don’t do something simply because everyone else is.

In other words, be independent. Isn’t that one of the big ones? You know if there was a top 10 traits you hope to instill in your child – wouldn’t independence be on there? I am not saying that it is number one. We all have to make our list, but I am sure that independence would make many a parent’s list for traits they want to instill in their child.  I know for sure it would make mine.

However, sometimes too much independence can be a bad thing. A very bad thing.

I’ve mentioned before it has been a rough school year for BR. I don’t want to go into details but suffice to say, the stress level is growing for my wife and I.

This evening BR and I were talking. It had been a particularly rough school day. One of his teachers was absent. His other teacher was present, unfortunately (yes, I said it. What can I tell you? I am really fed up.). Anyway, he acted inappropriately. Those of you who have children with issues similar to BR or any issues for that matter can imagine what these actions might be. Specifics don’t matter.

“What happened today?”

“I was silly.”

“Why?”

“I don’t know.”

“Did you want the kids to laugh?”

“Yes.”

“Did they?”

“Yep.”

“Do you think they were laughing at you or with you?” I don’t know if he understood the difference.

“At me.”

“BR, the kids might laugh. They think it’s funny. But it’s inappropriate. However, they are going to think something is wrong.”

No reply.

“Bezalel they are going to think you are weird.”

“I don’t care.”

“You don’t care that the other kids are going to think you are weird?”

“No, what difference does it make?”

“Well, I care. I don’t want kids to think you are weird.”

And there you have it. He is in a place where he claims he does not care. Again, I don’t want him or SJ to do things simply because others are. However, this is different. He is in a classroom and that is a place where you have to submerge your independence and do what everyone is doing. Now, it is not so simple for BR. If only.

So, I am in a bit of a bind. I don’t want to emphasize that his behavior is weird and other kids may laugh at him. There are many components that go into him behaving as he is. One of them is his streak of independence. I wish for now, that he could be a little less independent.

Growing Past the Plagues

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January 22. Thirty five days. Five weeks. Time is all relative. If you suffered with headache for five weeks, that would be excruciatingly long. If you’re marriage lasted five weeks that would be ridiculously short (Hollywood short).

Five weeks is how long I have been posting my blog exclusively from my website. It probably comes closer to the marriage scenario though in some ways, it has been more like the headache. Anyway, I’d like to tell you that things have gone so smoothly and just as I would have hoped. However, I would prefer to tell you the truth.

So, in honor of the upcoming holiday of Passover, here are the 10 plagues that have happened since converting to a website. To be honest, many came simply due to my ignorance about the process. You would think that being a teacher I would strive to learn and ask questions before doing something. Well, in this case you would be wrong.  Website – okay sure. I guess it is time.

I hope this list will help those of you who may be considering going to a website.

1. Only those who were having the blog come right to their email came with me on the move. That was only about one fifth of my followers. I had no idea this was going to be the case.

2. I made the announcement I was moving only after the mass majority of these followers had disappeared.

3. Comments I have made on the sites of others have not consistently appeared.

4. I only see the reply to my comments if the person is a subscriber to my blog.

5. Some people have made comments that I never saw. The only reason I know is they emailed me and asked me what’s up?

6. I am not especially photogenic. Well, I actually knew that before.

7. People like a like button. However, the like button I have is not so clear. Truthfully, I don’t even know how it works.

8. My blog posts are no longer announced on wordpress.com

9. I have gotten bombarded by spam (I don’t need Viagra, discounted, or not).

10. The water turned to blood. Actually, I made that up in honor of original plauges.

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Despite, these plagues, there has been many good things that have occurred since I have converted my blog into a website. First and foremost, I have had a chance to have a number of guests. I would like to thank my blogging friends, Kate (Did That Just Happen?), Elske (Elske Newman), Jessie (Jessie Clemence), and Penney (Authentic Life Journeys). I also would like my writing group members who provided me with guest posts – Ronit, Frank, and Rachelle and my friend Robert. I also would like to thank my wife, Sara, for her awesome post. Lastly, I’d like to thank the Academy. Uh, wrong speech.

I have learned a lot since I created the blog and have come to realize how much more I have to learn. One thing I have learned is how generous some people can be with their time. I have been truly touched by how helpful some people have been just because.

I have taught a book to my 9th graders entitled Speak by Laure Halse Anderson. The book begins on Melinda’s (protagonist) first day as a high school freshman and ends in June.  The book focuses on how she deals with the repercussions of a terrible incident that occurred in the summer (before h.s.) that caused her to be an outcast. Ultimately, she finds a way to get past the incident and become a stronger though different person. One way this is done is through the motif of a tree. The tree struggles in the winter months and even has to have some parts cut away so that the rest of the tree can survive.

I’d like to think of my blog and website as the tree. Many followers have been lost.  The tree has lost some limbs. However, the most loyal – let’s say the trunk or the roots have followed me over to the website. I have met some new people and feel there is potential to do so much more. So, as Spring is on the horizon, I am optimistic about growth. I thank you who have continued on this journey with me. I look forward to your responses, input, and sharing.

Number 40

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Today is the third and final part a series featuring the other members of my writing group. Rachelle, our frequent host who makes great popcorn, is up today.  She writes poetry and prose that typically focuses on her family.

Rachelle is a Marketing Communications Manager at a publishing company. She describes herself as a 40 year old suburban mom who enjoys reading, decoupage and rollercoasters.

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I never expected to be someone that is shy about their age.  But now that I am firmly entrenched in the throes of middle age, I have grudgingly become that someone.

It wasn’t always this way.  When I was a kid, birthdays were exciting occasions with parties, presents, cake, and 25 of my closest friends.  As I got older, I proudly celebrated all the birthday milestones that really mattered- my Bat Mitzvah, being old enough to drive, to vote, and to drink. But somewhere around that quarter century mark, birthdays just started getting tiresome.  By age 30, they were starting to hurt.

Turning 40 sent me into a tailspin, and I had a minor mid-life crisis.  I couldn’t afford to buy a sports car or take an expensive vacation.  I was far too chubby and lazy to have a steamy affair.  So, I decided, that was it.  I put my foot down.  The buck stops here.  From now on, I’m turning 40.  I may be old and grey and drooling in the old age home, but I will still be 40.

Funny how age works. While I readily admit to being age-averse, I would never want to go back in time and relive my more energetic youth.  Although I wouldn’t mind correcting some errors in judgment, the thought of re-experiencing high school, acne, and dating makes me cringe.

We have five kids in my modern-day blended family, ages 21, 19, 18, 17 and 8.  One can legally drink and gamble.  Two are in college.  Three can vote.  Four can drive.  And one is still my beautiful cherubic faced, curly haired baby.  She will always be my baby, even when she has babies of her own.

A few months ago, we made a birthday party for my “baby,” at Chuck E. Cheese.   It was crowded and the noise was absolutely deafening.  But it was wonderful to see her giddy with sheer delight as she stood proudly in her blue soccer uniform while we sang happy birthday, and she blew out the candles on a Costco buttercream cake.  It was her birthday, she turned eight, and she was thrilled.  So thrilled that she can’t wait for her next birthday when she will be nine.

I have heard time and time again that age is just a number.  Well, my baby’s number and the other children can continue to rise, but me – my number is 40.