Not So Independent

Wag your finger and read the following: “If every kid jumped off a bridge, would you jump too?”

Everyone heard this from their mother or father and maybe now you say it to your kids. Not so original but the idea behind is meaningful. Don’t be a sheep. Don’t do something simply because everyone else is.

In other words, be independent. Isn’t that one of the big ones? You know if there was a top 10 traits you hope to instill in your child – wouldn’t independence be on there? I am not saying that it is number one. We all have to make our list, but I am sure that independence would make many a parent’s list for traits they want to instill in their child.  I know for sure it would make mine.

However, sometimes too much independence can be a bad thing. A very bad thing.

I’ve mentioned before it has been a rough school year for BR. I don’t want to go into details but suffice to say, the stress level is growing for my wife and I.

This evening BR and I were talking. It had been a particularly rough school day. One of his teachers was absent. His other teacher was present, unfortunately (yes, I said it. What can I tell you? I am really fed up.). Anyway, he acted inappropriately. Those of you who have children with issues similar to BR or any issues for that matter can imagine what these actions might be. Specifics don’t matter.

“What happened today?”

“I was silly.”


“I don’t know.”

“Did you want the kids to laugh?”


“Did they?”


“Do you think they were laughing at you or with you?” I don’t know if he understood the difference.

“At me.”

“BR, the kids might laugh. They think it’s funny. But it’s inappropriate. However, they are going to think something is wrong.”

No reply.

“Bezalel they are going to think you are weird.”

“I don’t care.”

“You don’t care that the other kids are going to think you are weird?”

“No, what difference does it make?”

“Well, I care. I don’t want kids to think you are weird.”

And there you have it. He is in a place where he claims he does not care. Again, I don’t want him or SJ to do things simply because others are. However, this is different. He is in a classroom and that is a place where you have to submerge your independence and do what everyone is doing. Now, it is not so simple for BR. If only.

So, I am in a bit of a bind. I don’t want to emphasize that his behavior is weird and other kids may laugh at him. There are many components that go into him behaving as he is. One of them is his streak of independence. I wish for now, that he could be a little less independent.