Earlier today, my friend Kate over at Did That Just Happen Blog honored me by allowing me to be a guest on her blog.
The post is one I think all parents will be able to relate to: Selective Deafness. You may not know what I mean by this trait. However, I am positive your children suffer from this occasionally as well.
Click here to read the post: http://didthatjusthappenblog.wordpress.com/2013/03/20/selective-deafness/
At the end of this post, you will be either grossed out or laughing. Or both. If you have a sense of humor similar to mine, you will probably feel both. Proceed if you wish but consider yourself forewarned.
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Last week my blogging friend over at http://motherhoodisanart.com/ wrote a post entitled Getting My Report Card as a Parent. Melissa mentioned that as parents we get reviews or report cards. However, she said, the closest thing to a review is when we bring our kids for their doctor checkups and dentist appointment. Melissa is clearly worried about how the doctor will see her children and is certain the dentist would give her a C if he/she could. She does not have her kids floss.
Are you kidding? I exchanged some emails with Melissa. If flossing is the criteria, I would get an F. My kids brush their teeth twice a day – as long as they are reminded bugged threatened. It’s not that they are dirty children. It’s just that they are boys. They are not especially worried about dirt. To their further detriment, they are my boys.
I have told you numerous times that I lack patience. Any patience I do have is often taken up at work. By the time I get home, I am certainly patience challenged. Well, the apple doesn’t fall from the tree.
My children don’t have time to thoroughly brush their teeth. They have other things they want to do – watch television, play on the computer, build Lego, vroom Thomas trucks, etc. See, these other things are clearly more important. Ten seconds a brushing – that ought to do it is their attitude. I tried to make up a catchy tune to get them to be more thorough – up and down, all around and all over the place. Okay it may not be especially catchy – I am neither Lennon nor McCartney – but my mediocre at best voice makes these words sound not terrible. However, the desired affect is not there.
I think I know what you are thinking. While uncouth, this is far from disgusting. Your own boys may be in the same dirty boat. Well, I am not finished.
If you walk into any of our 2 ½ bathrooms, you will find wipes. Yes, both boys were on the later end of potty training. However, both are, thankfully, well past that stage. They are patient enough to sit and take care of their business. However, that is about where their patience ends. Wiping. Whose got time for wiping? This bathroom hastiness clearly goes beyond tooth brushing. One wipe, maybe two is about all they have time for.
Picture courtesy of http://www.google.com/
This hasty retreat from the bathroom can lead to malodorous results. And, no I am not talking about farting.
So, Melissa, if the doctor was giving me a grade for my parenting I’m certain it wouldn’t be good. Dirty butts – I’m not even on the parenting chart.
January 22. Thirty five days. Five weeks. Time is all relative. If you suffered with headache for five weeks, that would be excruciatingly long. If you’re marriage lasted five weeks that would be ridiculously short (Hollywood short).
Five weeks is how long I have been posting my blog exclusively from my website. It probably comes closer to the marriage scenario though in some ways, it has been more like the headache. Anyway, I’d like to tell you that things have gone so smoothly and just as I would have hoped. However, I would prefer to tell you the truth.
So, in honor of the upcoming holiday of Passover, here are the 10 plagues that have happened since converting to a website. To be honest, many came simply due to my ignorance about the process. You would think that being a teacher I would strive to learn and ask questions before doing something. Well, in this case you would be wrong. Website – okay sure. I guess it is time.
I hope this list will help those of you who may be considering going to a website.
1. Only those who were having the blog come right to their email came with me on the move. That was only about one fifth of my followers. I had no idea this was going to be the case.
2. I made the announcement I was moving only after the mass majority of these followers had disappeared.
3. Comments I have made on the sites of others have not consistently appeared.
4. I only see the reply to my comments if the person is a subscriber to my blog.
5. Some people have made comments that I never saw. The only reason I know is they emailed me and asked me what’s up?
6. I am not especially photogenic. Well, I actually knew that before.
7. People like a like button. However, the like button I have is not so clear. Truthfully, I don’t even know how it works.
8. My blog posts are no longer announced on wordpress.com
9. I have gotten bombarded by spam (I don’t need Viagra, discounted, or not).
10. The water turned to blood. Actually, I made that up in honor of original plauges.
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Despite, these plagues, there has been many good things that have occurred since I have converted my blog into a website. First and foremost, I have had a chance to have a number of guests. I would like to thank my blogging friends, Kate (Did That Just Happen?), Elske (Elske Newman), Jessie (Jessie Clemence), and Penney (Authentic Life Journeys). I also would like my writing group members who provided me with guest posts – Ronit, Frank, and Rachelle and my friend Robert. I also would like to thank my wife, Sara, for her awesome post. Lastly, I’d like to thank the Academy. Uh, wrong speech.
I have learned a lot since I created the blog and have come to realize how much more I have to learn. One thing I have learned is how generous some people can be with their time. I have been truly touched by how helpful some people have been just because.
I have taught a book to my 9th graders entitled Speak by Laure Halse Anderson. The book begins on Melinda’s (protagonist) first day as a high school freshman and ends in June. The book focuses on how she deals with the repercussions of a terrible incident that occurred in the summer (before h.s.) that caused her to be an outcast. Ultimately, she finds a way to get past the incident and become a stronger though different person. One way this is done is through the motif of a tree. The tree struggles in the winter months and even has to have some parts cut away so that the rest of the tree can survive.
I’d like to think of my blog and website as the tree. Many followers have been lost. The tree has lost some limbs. However, the most loyal – let’s say the trunk or the roots have followed me over to the website. I have met some new people and feel there is potential to do so much more. So, as Spring is on the horizon, I am optimistic about growth. I thank you who have continued on this journey with me. I look forward to your responses, input, and sharing.
It’s a long weekend. I do love the Presidents. I’m sure many of you planned to go away for a few days, or maybe catch up on sleep, or spend quality time with friends, or handle something that you have been putting off. Me? I am on a quest for zero!
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I am an organized person. Some might say compulsive. They have not met my wife. Yes, we are an organized duo. Anyway, I believe in drawers and closets. A brilliant invention they were. (My wife is more of a “throw it away” person but this is not really about her.)
You see, I’m as a sentimental as the next guy. I have stuff that I want to keep (George Carlin had a great bit on stuff – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=MvgN5gCuLac) but that does not mean it has to be scattered all over the place. Organization, neatness. Just saying these words brings me a sense of tranquility.
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I get approximately 125 emails a day to my personal account. Truthfully, I never counted, but this seems right. Now, the majority of it is junk. SIDE NOTE: As children we were happy to get mail. Right? Now, it is mostly junk. Ten years ago, we were happy to get email. Now, it’s mostly junk. Prediction, soon, we will be saying the same text messages. Back to the point. While a good chunk of my email is junk, there are still plenty of emails which I feel a need to read and some of it needs to be read carefully and requires a thoughtful response.
With email there is an efficiency. You type it, you send it, and it’s received. It is meant to be quick and an entire exchange can occur in just moments.
Now, some emails require me to ruminate. They are not of the yes/no, chocolate/vanilla, pizza/macaroni & cheese variety. In fact, sometimes I prefer to let an email sit in my inbox for a day, so I can truly consider my response whether it be of the thoughtful, heartfelt, or encouraging kind. I like to get the words as close as possible to the sentiment I am feeling.
Currently, I have 14 emails in my in inbox. Some have been there for months. The emails vary but generally, they are not of the type that I must respond to. Instead, most of them have information which I find practical and turn to with some regularity. So, I have kept them in my inbox. However, I am tired of seeing them there.
What, dare I dream, would it be like to have zero emails in my inbox? It’s the email version of a spotless house, a clear desk, a clutter-free mind. It’s the holy grail of organization. If it were an object, Indiana Jones would have gone searching for it.
Now, I recognize that this state of perfection may not last long as I get many emails a day. Still, zero is a goal worth having. Full disclosure — I have checked my email three times since I started writing this.
Anyway, I am a quest for zero. Those emails which I don’t really need? Delete. For the others, I have folders – emails version of closets. I can do it. I can get organized. While I would be happy to read your response to this post, just know the response won’t stay in my inbox long.