Tag Archives: vacation

Writer’s Congestion

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I got nothing. Not true. Actually, I have too many, and that is the problem.
What is your writing process? Is your blog on your mind all the time? Are you always on the lookout for what would make a good blog entry? Do you just sit down and write about whatever pops into your head? Do books, television, movies, newspapers, etc, inspire your writing?
My answer is yes. I use all of those methods. And right now, the ideas are fighting to break through, but none seem to be emerging. It’s the opposite of writer’s block – writer’s congestion.
I could write about
–        BR is away, and the house is quiet. I know he is having a good time and is well cared for. I love him, but I don’t miss him. I will, however, be happy to see him. For now, I am enjoying the serenity. I don’t feel guilty.
–        SJ and I have been enjoying the town beach/pool. I’m noticing how the beach brings out the extremes in kids. I see children laughing, smiling, and playing with each other. I see kids throwing tantrums and having crying fits. Overstimulation leads to tiredness.
–        We have had some repair work done on our house. But will it ever end? My wife and I were already discussing what’s next. Sometimes, I wish we were back in an condminium, calling the super.

–        I am tired of hearing politicians arguing about stupidity and making idiotic claims about each other. Regardless of your political point of view, the overwhelming majority of us Americans know that the country is not in a good place right now. There are serious problems. I would like to hear politicians offer serious solutions. I want to hear what their policy is and why it will work. That’s it.

–        August is creeping along and I am doing my damndest to keep my focus on the here and now. I still have goals I want to accomplish this summer. Then, there are the children’s doctor appointments, haircuts, school schedules  to plan. We haven’t even gone on vacation yet.
And this isn’t even the half of it.
So, as you can see, my writer’s mind (and thoughts in general) have been zooming. I need to slow down. I pray every day. One of the things I pray for in the morning is the ability to focus on the task at hand. I believe it is the way to be productive and get the most meaning out of anything you are doing.
Focus, man focus. That’s what I need.

Too Old For This

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1:34, 2:18, 3:04, 3:41, 4:00, … This is not a bus schedule, a list of bible sections, or available time slots to have the cable guy come. No, these are the times that BR woke me on Saturday night.

I stopped at 4:00 not because he finally fell asleep. No, I stopped then because I finally got up, told my wife to try and sleep, and I took over trying to get BR back to sleep. I picked out one of his library books, Benjamin Franklinstein Lives by Matthew McElligott, and began reading. Fifty pages later and he was … declaring it morning and time to get up. You thought I was going to say he fell asleep – didn’t you? Oh how I wish you were right!

No luck. One of the blogs I follow is Being Mummy (www.elskenewman.com). One topic that the blogger has written a lot about is the difficulties she and her husband are having getting their child into a good sleep pattern. The baby has been giving them long sleepless nights. I’ve left comments saying, “Good luck, been there, be strong, it will happen eventually, enjoy your 80 ounces of coffee,” etc. While reading the blog and writing the comments, I have felt great relief: Thank G-d my children are past that stage!

After all, my boys are 8 and 5.5. They are way past the up-all-night stage. (The first time BR slept through the night, I told colleagues at work the next day that I had never loved him more.) Sure, I know there is the occasional illness, anxiety, or excitement that may awaken or keep the boys awake a bit – maybe an hour. Nothing a book or lying next to them could not cure. What you may be wondering caused me to be soooooo wrong on Saturday night?

Well, on Sunday morning, BR and I were scheduled to be on the 9:48 a.m. train out of Radburn with our final destination being Trenton, NJ. At Trenton, my Mom was picking him to spend a few days at her condo. We’ll be driving down on Thursday night. This is the longest – by far – that he will be away from us.

How excited is he? And quote.

“Tomorrow will be the second best day of my life.”

“So, you are not coming with me? Or Dad?”

“Of course, I can behave – SJ won’t be there.”

“I’ll only miss you a little bit.”

“You’re not coming with me, right?

 

So, my parenting expertise gained from years in said role tells me he is ready for this experience. Duuuh.

I’m happy he is excited to spend time with his grandmother. I’m happy he is ready for some independence. I’m happy he is maturing.  Before his next getaway, though, I’ll be spiking his milk and cookies. I need my sleep!

In Between Week

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I love summer.

Wow – an in-between week! You know the kind of week I am talking about. Between camp and school. These weeks are challenging, to say the least.  After all, the children need to have a full calendar.

BR finished camp last week and he is headed off to grandma’s place next week. So this week was as an in-between week, a.k.a. “Daddy Day Camp.” Talk about bonding! Lots and lots and lots of bonding.

Each day we have had something on the calendar. We went swimming at the town pool on Monday and are going again today. On Tuesday, we saw Ice Age Continental Drift. On Wednesday, we went miniature golfing. Tried anyway. The wait was so long we just ended up playing at the arcade. Thursday was to be the crown jewel.

On Thursday, we went to Field Station Dinosaurs. This pricey exhibit (nearly $60 for the two of us) in Seacaucus, NJ, featured life-like dinosaurs. The dinosaurs moved and roared. Very cool.  For those who have kids that are crazy for dinosaurs, it is worth it. BR and I enjoyed it despite the hot weather. We both jumped at least once when a dinosaur roared unexpectedly.

I don’t know exactly how we will fill the rest of August (other than our vacation week). What I do know is I love summer. Even the in-between weeks. However, I may need some un-bonding space soon.

Off to the pool.

P.S. Next week, I have a new camper – SY.

The Fearful Rider

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I run across streets.

Two weeks after my 11th birthday, I was hit by a car. Apparently, the car was speeding as the driver was late for work. I don’t care. It was a Wednesday night. My family and I had frozen pizza for dinner. Friends of mine were going to Loesche Elementary School’s playground. The playground had an old rocket ship. When the wind blew or kids pushed, the top compartment of the aged ship would shake. My knees would grow unsteady as I approached the top of the ship. I was eager to conquer my fear and confidently climb to the top of the rocket ship.

Sure, I would go to the playground. My friends and I rode our bikes there. I made it to the top of the rocket ship and enjoyed the view of my childhood neighborhood. On the way home, we got separated. When I got to Red Lion road, I got off my bike with the intention of walking it across to the other side. I never made it.

I have very vague memories of the next few hours. I had a severe concussion and was badly bruised. However, nothing was broken – except my bike that is. For a few years after the accident, I had to go for EEG’s. Doctors were concerned I could have a seizure. Thankfully, I was fine and had no long-term affects.

Except, I run across streets. When I come to a big street at an off hour, I run. Red, yellow, or green, I run. I never ride a bike. I don’t like driving near people on bikes. I do everything I can do avoid them. I hate seeing bicyclists on the streets.

BR is 8 years old and is unable to ride a bike. He has certain issues that make bike riding more challenging for him. One of my summer goals was to enable my elder son. We have started practicing in earnest this week. On Monday and Wednesday, we went around the block with BR on his bike and me guiding him. I’d like to say that this practice is showing promise.

He fights me nearly every pedal of the way. When I say it is time to go outside, he immediately goes for his scooter (without his helmet – but that’s another story). BR dictates that the only way he will practice is if I do not let go. I try to reason with him: you’ll never learn this way and it is okay to fall. He doesn’t accept my reasoning. We start out with my hand on his back. He insists on both hands, but I don’t give in on this.

As BR rides along under my guiding hands, I give instructions: keep pedaling, eyes up, remember to steer. He takes in the instructions like a pampered athlete.

“Why, why, why? I don’t see why.”

“Just trust me. I know what I am talking about. And stop talking and focus on what you are doing.”

He doesn’t stop talking. I let go for a moment. He can do this. He is doing it. Then, the bike crashes. Actually, that is not accurate. He puts the bike down. BR is scared.

“You were doing it. You can do this. Why did you stop?”

The excuses fly. He will never say the truth: He is scared. I don’t know how to make him not scared. Is it possible more practice make him less scared? Of course. Those issues noted above include anxiety. It is neither surprising nor unexpected that it would take more practice for BR to get bike riding down.

Then, there is the other side of me. I am scared. In the 30 years since the accident, I have ridden a bike a grand total of two times. Both times were while I was on vacation, and I did not enjoy it.

So what do I say to BR when he questions, “Why do I have to learn to ride a stupid bike anyway?” My answers – it’s fun, a kid your age should be able to ride a bike, what are you going to do when the other kids are on their bikes – don’t even convince me. Or him. He comes back with the dagger of a comment for which I have no real answer. “But you don’t ride a bike. Why don’t you ride a bike? You’re okay.” A mumbled, “That’s different.”

We’ve made it around the block, and I am thankful. We have practiced. He’s getting better, I think. The end of the summer is not so far away. BR can be riding a bike on his own by then. I am convinced of it. I just have to find a way to convince him. Then, maybe he can convince me to ride next to him.