I’m not in your dining room. I’m not in your kitchen. I’m not in your cafeteria. But I know you’ve got weird eating habits.
We all do. In fact some weird eating habits are universal. But they’re still weird.
And I know yours! Extensive research and conversation has enabled me to make this discovery.
Don’t trust me?
Okay, fine. I’ll prove it. Here are five universal weird eating habits.
- Eating the Heads of the Animal Crackers First – Everyone likes animal crackers. What’s not to like? They’re simple yet tasty. Yet, whatever animal we get – giraffe, elephant, monkey, etc., you eat off the head first. Why do you do this – I have no idea? Maybe, it’s something Freudian or harkens back to some primitive instinct. Maybe, it has something to do with the need for order. The cookie is always more symmetric when the head is removed. Yeah, I know – I’m over thinking this, but this habit is a little creepy.
- Saving the Crunch Berries of Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries Till Last – What kid didn’t put this cereal at or near the top of his favorites list? Now, if your parents banned sugars cereals – well, I’m sorry cause you missed some good stuff. Anyway, for those of us whose moms weren’t anal and were privileged to have Cap’n Crunch’s Crunch Berries, you saved those red balls of delicious sugar crunch to the end. It was your payoff for eating the rest of the cereal which was good but couldn’t stand up to the crunch berries. By the way, you also slurped up the milk which had turned into strawberry milk because of the crunch berries.
- Blowing on the Soup Before the First Swallow – Some may say this is merely practical. After all who wants to burn their mouth? Now, science isn’t my subject but if the soup isn’t steaming isn’t that a good indication it’s not all that hot. But yet you blow on it anyway. So maybe it’s instinct. It’s like eating multiple potato chips – not necessary but you just do it. Or maybe, you’ve been burned in the past, and it’s a caution thing. Or maybe, you hear your parent’s voice, saying “Wait before you eat your soup. It may be hot.” But isn’t that the point of soup? How often do you hear people say, “I really could go for some soup on a 95° day?”
- Spreading the Peanut Butter and Jelly on Separate Sides of the Bread – You put your peanut butter on one slice of the bread and the jelly on the other. You don’t mix the two until you put the pieces of bread on top of each other. These two delicious foods are not meant to be mixed until the two slices of bread meet. It’s kind of like “When Harry Met Sally.” They are definitely right for each other but don’t get together until the very end. And what an end it is – the two from this village make everyone happy.
- Planning Out How Much Milk to Put in Your Cereal –The strategy of how much milk to put in cereal is equivalent to Bill Belichick planning for a Super Bowl. Now, some of you like more milk, some like less milk (heck, some of you don’t like milk at all) in your cereal. But that’s not the point. The point is you plan out how much milk goes in your cereal. It’s not haphazard like how much popcorn you grab at one time or how much mashed potatoes you plop on your plate. You know how much milk you like in your cereal and you pour accordingly. And if you make a mistake and pour extra, you even consider taking more cereal planning out.
I know, I know. I think they’re weird too. But they’re our habits and they’re harmless.
By the way do you have another weird eating habits? I’m doing more research. My weird one is my disgust for ketchup.