Zero Reaction

I did it. I set a goal. I accomplished a goal. And it felt great.

When I turned my computer off on Tuesday night, I had zero emails in my inbox. Now, I must admit the last stubborn email was turned into a draft so I can easily pop onto it when I want to reference it. By the way, a few people provided helpful suggestions including, Karaboo over at I felt a feeling of exultation. It was a beautiful.

Now, it was nearing 11:00, so I could not shout for joy. For if I shouted and awoke the children, there would be no joy in Mudville. However, I certainly could share my excitement with my wife.

I was sure my wife would be excited. In fact, when she learned of my goal, she smiled widely. So, I went upstairs. I tried to hold back my excitement as I approached our bedroom door.

As I was about to enter, I started thinking. For an organizational fiend like my wife, this news could actually serve as an aphrodisiac. Maybe, she wouldn’t be able to control her enthusiasm. She would have to express her admiration. Whatta man whatta man whatta mighty good man. Whoo ah!

Okay, I am mixing my cultural references, but this was good. Zero in the inbox and a night of love.

This could inspire me to accomplish many more organizational tasks. I could organize the garage, organize the desk. Things always need organizing.

Wait. I stopped myself from entering the bedroom. Let me make sure the kids’ doors are shut. No interruptions – no thank you. Well, the kids were sleeping, and the house was quiet except the television was on in our bedroom. This is good. Feeling confident now.

I slowly opened the door while struggling to hold back my enthusiasm for the goal I was about to share. “Sara.” No answer. “Sara.” Still no answer. Once more. “Sara.”

She turned, startled. “Huh.”

“Were you asleep?” I knew the answer. I hoped she would lie.

“Yes. What is it?”

Here was my opening. “I did it.”


“I got down to zero emails. I did it. Remember we talked about it before.”

“That’s great,” she muttered with less enthusiasm than the nominees say at awards shows when asked how they feel after not getting the award. I’m just happy to be nominated.

“That’s it?” I was crestfallen.

“I’m sleeping.”

“Oh. Okay. Sorry. Good night.”

I sighed, turned around, as my sense of accomplishment faded slightly. I headed to the shower happy this night to still be suffering from morning shower phobia. A nice shower would do me some good.

38 thoughts on “Zero Reaction

  1. hahahahahaahahhaaha. Hysterical! One, I’m glad that you got down to zero. But, two – that’s the best good night story I’ve heard in a long time!

        • Yes, I tend to keep it a bit more button down. I know it it’s a bit odd for a blogger to say this but I am a private person.
          Anyway, I really appreciate the compliment.
          I appreciate all the comments you have made. It has been so nice getting to know you and your blog the last couple of months.

  2. I am SO jealous of you right now!!! I’ve tried before to clear out my inbox but to no avail. Right now I have 89 emails in my inbox which is better than monday when it was way over 200 and I just went in and deleted everything before Jan.
    Great way to go to bed though!!

    • In some ways it was a great way to go to bed. Yes, it did feel great to getto 0. Good luck getting your number to a lower level. Dare you dream for 0?

  3. Great job!!! I did that a while ago too, and there were soooo many that were marked unread, that it took me a really long time to even just go through and look at each of them briefly. Anyway, it felt really good to get it done, and after that I have been keeping it down. It´s really wonderful. Now if I could just organize my digital photos in some way too……

  4. Your poor wife. You woke her up to tell her the news of zero emails? I think you need a little work in the “How to impress a woman” department. Try cleaning the garage. It always works for me. Congrats on the goal…I think.

    • Ouch. That hurt. So garage cleaning works for some – hmm. Maybe,it’s a ploy to get me to keep working.
      It did make me feel good to get to 0.

  5. Oh well… what should I say? Sometimes men and women set their priorities differently? *chuckle*
    But because of lack of enthusiasm of your wife you do now get a heartily “Well done” from me!! 🙂

    • But she is an organizational fiend and this is an organization accomplishment worthy of a gold medal. Come on – impressive – no?

  6. Wow, that was some achievement –
    but if that didn’t impress her enough,
    I can’t imagine what you’re going to have to do that will!!
    Good luck –
    and I look forward to reading about it!

  7. I am humbled by your shout-out….seriously….thank you.

    I am so happy for you to be at 0!! What a feeling of accomplishment! A sense of pride and job well done! It does feel like, when you can get to that point, like “ALL IS RIGHT WITH THE WORLD NOW” type feeling. I understand completely!

    And I’m seriously jealous right now……and want to call you a name….but I won’t – because I’m so humbled by you for thinking so highly of my suggestion that you mentioned me. Thank you!!!

    • You got it. I appreciated the suggestion, and I think it is nice to give credit where credit is due. We bloggers need to support each other.
      You can call me the name – I can handle it.

  8. Why, Larry! This is very unexpected from you, and quite funny. I’m sure by now Mrs. Larry has read this post and is plotting a way to make it up to you, with interest.

    • She wasn’t sure if she was so comfortable me writing this.
      Anyway, I am glad it was unexpected. Surprises are good.
      Unfortunately, she has not been feeling well so that interest is accruing – I hope.

  9. From a wife’s perspective, I have to say that a little “loving” encouragement has motivated my husband to do all sorts of chores he has been dreading. But I am so often asleep when he comes for his reward!

    Wait, I think that is too much information. I apologize.

  10. Larry, I admire your achievement. As we speak, I have…3025 unread messages in my inbox. Pretty sure I’m not gonna be clearing that out until my daughter’s in college. I’ll probably just have to get a new e-mail account. Cheers!

  11. ha!ha!ha! good and very funny post, you made me laugh with your “what man, what man” song and your enthusiasm to let your wife know about it! a shower had to do it! ouf! I finally got to your post! my inbox is not at “zero”, cleaning the basement while reading my e-mails!

    • Very efficient – cleaning and reading emails.
      Glad it made you laugh – definitely was hoping the post would make people laugh.

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