SJ and BR both had speech delays. Now, they talk constantly. In fact, I recently threatened to throw SJ out of the house and drop him off at his first speech therapist who lives around the block from us.
BR had little to no interest in sports and subsequently was left out from many activities that his peers were involved in. My wife and I bought him a book about baseball last winter. Now, he is obsessed with everything baseball – statistics, playing, movies, etc.
SJ hated amusement rides. Three years ago he cried on the merry-go-round with my wife on one side and me on the other. This summer he went on every thrill ride that he was tall enough for.
The point? Things change. This is especially true when it comes to children.
No big news there. We all know that. Yet my wife and I worry and obsess over issues related to our kids. Know many other parents who do the same? Thought so.
You could say it’s natural to worry about your children. You could say it’s part of loving. Often love leaves a person acting irrationally. And whom do we love more than our children? So, it makes sense that we should act most irrationally in regards to our children.
But is it healthy to worry? Does it help?
I’ve heard many people say that young children, even babies, sense their parents’ emotions and mimic them. One of those people is my wife who has told me this many times.
My blogger friend Mary at A Teachable Mom told me that when she and her husband are not “connecting and communicating or avoiding our anger, our kids fight with each other more. It’s as if they are acting out our anger for us.” On the flipside, when she and her husband “are connected, even if it is through fighting or bickering, our girls get along really well.”
So, our children can take on our emotions and our behaviors. Therefore, it makes sense to strive to be happy, reasonable, and calm. We should recognize that the great majority of situations will always work out in some decent way.
This all sounds good. Doesn’t it?
Yet it’s not so easy in theory.
BR is entering a new school this year. Last year was a mess. The stress level for him and us was high. We needed to make a change. My wife and I have done a number of things to try and ensure a good school year both academically and socially. Yet, we are very concerned about the change.
We want BR to see us as positive, excited, and optimistic about this new school. And we are. However, we are also nervous.
To come back to the examples noted above about talking, baseball, and amusement rides, the newness of the school will also pass. There will be ups and downs. But ultimately, he will find his way. He will meet some kids – some he will like and others he won’t bother with. He will enjoy and learn from some teachers/subjects and others he won’t.
Either way, time moves on. Things change. And worrying does not help. So, lets’ try and stop worrying so much. It doesn’t do anyone, particularly our children, any good. Chalk this up as yet another lesson that I need to learn over and over again.
Has he started yet? Or are y’all still on the go back the day after Labor Day system? I’m really excited for him!! I think he’ll have great opportunities at the new school and it’s a great time to start fresh with who he is now and be confined by who he use to be.
You are right, tho, it’s all easier said than done. I still worry and had first day of school butterflies when T walked out the door. 🙂 And, T never talked, I mean, I was really afraid that he never would – then one day he decided enough was enough and just started speaking in full sentences!
No – late start to the Jewish Holidays. I am excited too as I agree with you a fresh start could be just what ne needs.
I think the worrying is normal – even if it is not helpful. Btw, are you like me and sometimes wish T would just shut up. In other words he is like my boys?
Agreed. There’s not point in worrying. Just do what you can do. And if there’s nothing you can do, move on.
Definitely trying. That takes a certain mindset that is not my normal way.
Thank you for this! I will try to do just that. I’m using up too much energy worrying about everything, and I’m just going to cut that crap right out.
Have a great weekend, MMK!
It can be exhausting – can’t it? I am still trying to cut the crap out. It aint easy.
I know we’ve talked about this before and I’m always telling you about my nephew. He was very excited about going to the new school because he sensed that the old wasn’t right for him. Maybe BR will feel the same way too, he just hasn’t expressed this to you yet.
Well I’m also here to tell you that my nephew is doing so well in his new school that he has better grades than his sisters do. I think you should stop worrying and know that you’re doing the right thing. It all has a way of working itself out for the best.
I dont think he realized the other school wasn’t working for him. Of course, it’s very possible that he just has not mentioned it – would not be surprising. However, I am hoping this one will go better and he will be able to see that for himself.
My mom was the world’s biggest worrier. Never understood why she worried so over the little things. I think she worried enough for the both of us, thus, I have found there is no need in worrying. That becomes a total waste of time and think about what all can be accomplished by simply doing instead of worrying! What will be will be 🙂
Thoroughly enjoyed your post! All of our kids are grown and gone but I can certainly relate to your son 🙂
Firstly, thanks for coming by and the comments.
I admire your ability to simply not worry. I am trying – a real effort for me.
All parents worry, it’s natural, but it is also good to try and worry less. If you figure out how to do this, I’m sure we will all want to know! Maybe it’s how we deal with the worry that is the solution, I don’t know, I’m rambling now, let me know when you figure it out 🙂
I think you are right. We all worry but not to the same degree. I think you are right in that its how we deal with the worry that is the solution.
Good luck to your son. Is he changing schools or graduating to a new one? Either way, I hope it goes well.
He is changing schools. Thanks for the good wishes.