Very Manly, I Must Say.

Men, hide your women. Women – go into your homes and lock the doors. I am feeling virile.

Let me explain – I’m not necessarily the typical guy that you see pictured on Father’s day cards — I don’t own power tools, I don’t eat red meat (I don’t even own a barbecue), and I feel great indifference towards cars.

All that changed last Friday. My family and I were on the way to my sister-in-law’s house for the Sabbath when, all of a sudden, the car started making noises. At first, I thought it was another car on the road but then realized it was our own Honda Accord that was experiencing a malfunction.

When we got to our destination, I got down and looked under the car. That’s right, I did – damn it! Okay, so I was still in my suit and put a towel under me, but I still had a faint smell of grease on me afterward.

The next night, along with my brother-in-law, nephew, and I jacked up the car and took a look underneath. There was not much we could do. However,I had  to fix the car so that we could get home safely. So, I did. My fix — which included duct tape, McGyver-style — lasted until about two minutes into the drive home.

The next morning we were supposed to go to a pool party at my brother’s house, several hours away. After some research (thanks to my wife and Google) we determined that the culprit was the heat shield, and that it could be safely removed. So, once again I jacked up the car (on my own, thank you very much) and — with the proper tools — I removed the part.

I saved the day. My family and I were able to go on our road trip. Pretty manly, I’d say.

But wait, there’s more.

This past week, I got a power tool for father’s day. I really wanted it too. I now am the proud owner of a weed whacker. I look forward to using it and whacking some weeds. They’ll know whose boss after I’m done.

Then, there was yesterday. My neighbor and I rented a power washer. There was no stopping me. I cranked that sucker up so that the dirt and mold that had invaded the siding of my house didn’t stand a chance. No sir, not on my watch they didn’t. I pushed into bushes and climbed the ladder all in the name of cleansing my home. I even washed the car and cleaned up the oils that formed on the side walk. This is my castle, damn it.

I insisted my boys take a turn using the power washer despite their fear of the noise it was making and the vibration. After all, one day they will be men too, and I must prepare them.

So, how do I top off this manly feeling? I was thinking of grilling up a steak and watching Gladiator. Unga Bunga!

29 thoughts on “Very Manly, I Must Say.

  1. Watch out now! Once you’ve used one power tool, there will be no end to your desire to expand your inventory. That weed-wacker? Takes a little practice. 🙂

  2. Remember slow steady back and forth strokes with the weed-wacker. It will save your back and a lot of frustration having to redo the same spots! Learned that one the hard way. ;(

    Loved the post. Heck the only power tool I own is a cordless drill I got for fathers day a few years back. . . its become a communal tool in my apartment complex. LOL G’Luck!

    • Thanks. I have yet to use it, and I’ll take all the pointers I can get.
      I got a whole tool set years ago. I think I asked for it as I felt I should have one. It rarely got used. I should have lent it out those in my building.
      Thanks for your response.

  3. From my experience (with my husband) power washing is addictive. My husband power washes the neighborhood with the washer I got him for x-mas a few years back. If power washing becomes a problem for you, you and my husband can start a 12-step meeting. Fun post!

  4. Funny post! I was giggling all the way while reading!
    Oh, just in case you’re running out of ideas doing manly things (after you’re done power washing and wheeding of course LOL), there still are:
    – Go to home depot
    – Go to home depot and buy a nail gun
    – Dissemble and re-assemble an old motor cycle just for the fun of it and to get dirty
    – Watch a Football game with your buddies, drink beer, then take the dog out and bet on who pees more…

    and then of course:

    – get yourself a yearly subscription for the fitness center
    – buy a sports car
    – go shopping and buy Hawaii shorts, pink shirts and Mokkassins…

    … oh wait!! I’m sorry… that’s only the midlife crisis…


    • I am glad it made you grin – definitely wanted that reaction.
      The football game I am into – love the game.
      Home Depot is okay in smAll doses -otherwise it gives me headaches.
      Thanks again for commenting.

  5. Nah, you’re nowhere close, you’re not a real man until you’ve owned a strimmer and a sit on lawn mower. That’s what my hubby tells me anyway. He owns neither coincidentally. 😉

    • Did you have to go and burst my bubble miss! I don’t even know what a strimmer is. Oh well, maybe I should give your husband a call – he at least can explain to me about a strimmer.

      • Hubby has just informed me that a strimmer may be a weed whacker, since I don’t actually know what that is! A strimmer is a power tool, 6 foot long, engine on one end, handle bars in the middle and a spinning nylon spool (or blade) at the bottom end for cutting the grass. If you tell me that’s a weed whacker then hubby won’t be worth living with and you’re half way to being that manly man!

  6. Dang, look at you! Perhaps you need to kick it up a notch (think trees not weeds) and get a chainsaw. 🙂
    Oh, and I am impressed that your car fixing utilized duct tape.

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