Time Is Not Like Spaghetti

Children over time.

My children through time.

You always end up making extra spaghetti – right? Luckily, spaghetti is one of the all-time great leftover foods.  I have been known to eat cold spaghetti a day or even two after it was originally served. Yes, spaghetti can be saved in order to be eaten later.

You ever have a topic seemingly just keep popping up? It’s as if G-d or fate is tapping you on the shoulder and imploring you to listen. Well, that’s what happened for me with the movie Boyhood. First, a buddy of mine brought it up and asked me if wanted to see it.  A few days later I saw a review  on the How To Be A Dad site. A few days after reading the review, my brother and sister-in-law mentioned  Boyhood and praised the movie greatly.

So, this past weekend I actually saw the Richard Linklater movie. For the uninitiated, Boyhood takes place over 12 years and follows a boy, Mason, from the time he is in kindergarten till the age of 18 and his first day in his college dorm. The boy is now a man. It literally took 12 years for Linklater to make the movie as he filmed for a few days over each of those 12 years.

Patricia Arquette stars as the mother of Mason and his sister Samantha. Ethan Hawke is her estranged husband. Arquette goes through some turbulent times as she suffers through two marriages to drunken men. She does grow tremendously professionally and becomes a college professor. Hawke goes from a shiftless guy who means well to a responsible man with a new wife and child. However, the focus of Boyhood is the children and Mason in particular. The audience learns about him through snippets of his life and sees him grow into adulthood.

My buddy noted that the Boyhood did not have a clear plot, and he’s right. What you see in the movie is what you bring to it. While that’s true of nearly every experience, it’s particularly true here.  For example after watching 12 Years a Slave, I think most people were talking about the struggle the protagonist went through and his desire to maintain his dignity or some derivative of this.

For me, Boyhood is ultimately about the passage of time and time is the star of this movie. What makes the movie truly unique is the actual growth of the children.

Time can be neither stopped nor saved. Nothing is more powerful than time.  Life passes by day after day, week after week, year after year.

The question becomes how are you going to make the most of the time that you are blessed with?  Think about where you were 12 years ago. My wife and I were newlyweds. We lived in Manhattan in an apartment. I had hair. And it was black.  Sigh.

And we didn’t have children.

I look at BR, and he is 10 years-old. Next year he will be in 5th grade and ready to graduate elementary school. I close my eyes and see a montage from the moment he was delivered till today. First steps, roly poly, kindergarten, and baseball games.

I look at SJ, and he is 7 years-old. Next year he will be entering second grade.  The montage rolls and the memories flood in.  Potty training, first haircut, riding in the shopping cart, and summer camp.

I’ve been there for every moment of my children’s lives. And I feel remarkably fortunate to be able to say that.  Those moments keep coming and some I’ll remember and some I’ll forget that. It’s only a matter of time before they’ll be taller than me, borrowing my razor, and taking the car.

So, time keeps on moving.  I’m reminded of it when I look in my children’s eyes. I’m reminded of it when I see my aunt aging and losing vitality. I’m reminded of it when I hear my knees creak.

Time can’t be saved. It’s not like spaghetti. This is my time now. So, I’m going to use it as well as and as completely as I can.  I suggest you do the same.

8 thoughts on “Time Is Not Like Spaghetti

  1. Nothing in life helps marks the passage of time better than our children do. Mine go back to school tomorrow, 5th and 8th grade, so hard to believe.

    You are right about spaghetti.

  2. Well that was quite a segue! Seamless transition from spaghetti to time passing! Glad you enjoyed the movie! This weekend as saw TMNT and it was pretty awesome! My brother Lee loved the turtles, so my parents joined us so we could see how it was the same/ different from what we watched years ago!

    • Thanks. I appreciate you recognizing it. I particularly liked that title.
      I heard the movie is way different and not very appropriate to little kids.

    • I think you will be able to relate. While I know you have girls, the point is not dependent on the sex of the child. It’s bigger than that.

  3. I wanted to see that movie too. I loved the idea of how they filmed this over 12 years. And yes, it makes me think about how fast my world is going.

    Jake is in 5th grade now and we’ve already started the conversations about middle school. And when we talked about it, even Jake made a comment about fast time is going. So if he feels it, can you imagine what it’s like for me??

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