Stream of conscious. I have some thoughts running around my head. Blogging as therapy or at least release. Work it out on the page.
SJ had a sleep away at camp. BR is no longer interested in reading with me at night. And I’m having a birthday.
Where does that leave me? Not going all Patricia Arquette at the end of Boyhood. I drop BR off at camp.
“You want me to walk in with you?”
So, I watch. I make sure he’s on the curb and others are around. He’s fine. He is. So, I drive away. He doesn’t need me. This is the goal to help your child become independent. Figuring out my role here. Mentioned this situation before. Still figuring it out.
I know are children are always taking steps toward independence. From their first steps till they step out of the house. Yet, this step is more confusing for me. How do I let go and stay involved? I know each this step is the hardest one.
SJ isn’t far behind. Maybe, I’ll figure a few things out when he’s at this stage. Hopefully.
I’ve been thinking a lot about time. Everyday, I see changes where before things were less perceptible. My aunt’s passing impacted me. Life is made up of days. What am I doing to make the most of mine?
I’ve read a bunch of self-helpish books lately. Well, philosophical might be a better description.
I recently read Fahrenheit 451 by Ray Bradbudry. I know it’s classified as science fiction but as well be philosophy. In his look at a futuristic world, he’s clearly exaggerating some points he saw in the world of his day. By the way, the book was written in 1953.
“You can’t shut off the risk and the pain without losing the love that remains.” That’s a line from Human Touch by Bruce Springsteen. It came to me as I was discussing Fahrenheit 451.
People are always in a rush, society is becoming excessively politically correct, everyone wants to just be happy, technology was taking over, and people don’t have interest/need for books.
Those seem to be what Ray was saying. Is it true that some of these ideas are what every generation thinks of the next one? I’m sure parents today could say some of these things about their children.
I wish I had more patience. Is it outrageous to say that every aspect of one’s life is better if they are patient? Maybe, patience is the right word. Sometimes, it’s stick to it ness. Sometimes, it’s acceptance. Sometimes, it’s vision. Sometimes, it’s love.
I’m nostalgic or an excellent whitewasher. I look back at times and my life and think “those were good times.” I can say that about nearly every time period in my life. Yet, if you asked me at the moment, I have no idea how I would answer. Why not just savor the moment in the moment and not wait for some distant time to smile on it? I don’t think you can be happy all the time, but maybe you can see good all the time, or at least most of it.
I think people can change. It would be depressing to think people can’t change. Maybe, some are more capable and to greater degrees. I don’t know. I’m sure there’s been some study about it. There’s studies conducted on everything. Anyway, when I’m not in a good mood, I think things are fixed, unchangeable. When I feel like I can fly, I’m sure things are possible.
The realist in me is screaming that you have to have your feet planted if you hope to move forward. You have to dig in and be willing to work.
Okay, I think the two are reconcilable. Digging in and flying. While you are striving to do whatever it is you are striving to do, a part of you has dig in and be ready to do what needs to be done.
One of my favorite biblical figures is Aaron. It is said that he lit the ceremonial candles everyday (other than the Sabbath, I suppose) and he did it with equal enthusiasm.
Wow! Bringing enthusiasm to your task, to your everyday, even if it’s seemingly mundane or repetitious – can you imagine?
Greatness can be reached in any task.
If you’ve read till here – thanks for sticking with me. This has been fun. I hope you’ve gotten something out of it. I hope something made you think. Let me know what it was. That includes you to, Ms. MMK – even if you’ve heard these things before.
P.S. One of my favorite complements I ever got while teaching was from J. She said, “Mr. B, you make my head hurt.” We were reading The Things They Carried by Tim O’Brien. I was going into some deep thoughts, and I could see J. thinking, contemplating, turning things over. Love it!
Photo courtesy of Pixabay
Kids getting old really is sad. It doesn’t help that it also means we’re getting older too! And I think patience is something everybody needs more of. Those who recognize the fact are at least getting somewhere.
I think your right in that recognizing you need more of it is part of the battle.
Patience–it’s an interesting thing. It seems we’d have more of it as we get older, and I think in many things we do. But then we also grow more impatient. Things that didn’t ruffle us before now make us frustrated, and we say, “Get on with it, already.” Maybe it’s because subconsciously we know we’re running out of time. Literally. :/
Maybe, we’re running out of time. Actually, we definitely are. I think it’s we’re tired of the crap as we’ve seen more of it and can identify it.
It takes a lot of work and practice to live in the NOW, to be aware and present in the moment so you can see how THIS, right now, the good times are happening. To stop and appreciate the time you get to spend with the boys, while seeing how that time you spent in the past has helped shape them and helped them grow. What is that expression “Enjoy the little things, for one day you’ll realized they were the big things” And you never know when it’s your last time, last time to pick them up, last time to snuggle, last time to read a bedtime story – those last time sneak up on you and you never know it’s the last time until it has passed.
Interesting perspective/thought Kate. Thanks for sharing it.
Bradbury is one of my favorites. I met him at a library once, wasn’t old enough to appreciate it as much as I should have.
Time passes and we learn.
Interesting. He was getting books like you or was it some sort of event?
Sometimes, I’m sure I learn. Other times – less sure.
I think that one day, when your kids cross from the independent stage to the interdependent stage, you will feel both relieved and sad. Relieved, that they are your little boys again. Sad, because it is just another sign that they are growing up.
Digging in is a prerequisite to flying, I think. Like a runway is a prerequisite to taking off.
Your last paragraph, “Thanks for sticking with me,” sounds like you are about to call it quits and stop blogging. Hopefully, I read that wrong.
I think you are right.
No, I just meant that this was a post that was out of the ordinary for me and that some people might not have been particularly interested in it.