Maybe you thought you were done with homework when you graduated high school. Maybe you thought you were done with homework when you graduated college. Maybe you thought you were done with homework when you completed your Master’s degree.
But here’s the truth.
If you have children, you are NEVER done with homework. It’s always there.
To put my teacher hat back on, I see the value of homework. I really do. Homework can be a useful tool for an educator. Homework is a way to recognize if a student has actually grasped the information. It also allows the teacher to know if anything has to be retaught.
Makes sense, right?
However as a parent, I don’t like homework. Now, that’s not to say I don’t want my children to have homework. If there’s a true educational purpose for the homework, I am all for it.
Yet, homework can be a pain in the neck. When my boys get home from school, homework is the last thing they want to do. Seriously, I think they would agree to eat brussel sprouts (tough rap those brussel sprouts always get), clean their rooms, and have needles stuck in their arms quicker than they would agree to do homework.
Well, they have no choice. They need to get their homework done.
Inevitably, bumps arise while the boys are doing their homework. I try to assist and encourage them to soldier on. Sometimes, it works, and sometimes, it doesn’t. Frustration mounts. Tears are shed. Curses are spewed. And my children are upset too.
It’s around this time when I cheat on my children’s homework. You heard me: I Cheat on My Children’s Homework. And so does Ms. MMKK. Don’t judge us – I bet you’ve done it too.
Want to know how?
- Both BR and SJ have poor handwriting. Damn o.t. issues. There are only so many times I can ask SJ to rewrite his letters. “Bring the letters closer to each other. They’re friends and they want to hang out together. Put the letters on the line. They can’t fly, silly.” By the third round of corrections, SJ has reached his breaking point. So, I write some of the letters. Believe me, it’s better for everyone. For BR, I used to serve as his secretary while he dictated whole responses. Thankfully, he’s able to do most of his work on the computer these days. Except for math. Stupid numbers!
- Both of the boys have reading logs that they are meant to complete. They have to read for x amount of minutes per week. Each night the reading log is supposed to be completed. And I remember to do it every night. NOT. Plenty of Thursday nights and even Friday mornings have come with the realization, “Oh crap, I forgot to fill in the reading log.” So, I ask SJ, BR what they read, how many pages and for long did they read? And they have no idea. Sure they can remember every freaken detail about Minecraft but ask them something important and all you get is a shoulder shrug. Well, with a little prodding and a lot of fudging, the reading log gets completed.
- On those nights when patience is especially thin or the amount of homework is excessive, I have been known to simply give the boys the answers. You know those nights when everyone’s nerves seem frayed. The children are screaming, you’re yelling, and even ice cream can’t make everything better. Yeah, on those nights I just give them the answers. Now this doesn’t happen often, and I don’t feel good about it, but sometimes it’s the right thing to do. Besides I don’t just give the answers. I do try and explain why the answer is correct and make sure the boys do at least some of the work themselves.
Fortunately, my boys generally get down to work and are academically gifted. They get good grades, read a lot, and like to learn. So, what harm is being done by cheating on their homework? I say none.
I’m not the only one – right? How do you cheat on your child’s homework? I’d be happy to learn new methods.
I confess, I too have cheated on my kids homework. When the kids were in grade school their grades were good. As and Bs so I didn’t feel too bad cheating once in a while. I always sat with them with they did their homework.
When I fell ill a few years their grades started dropping because I wasn’t as attentive to their schoolwork. I was so sick it just wasn’t a priority.
Now that they’re in high school, their grades aren’t as good as I think they could be. I don’t think it’s because the work is harder. I think they are more focused on the social aspect of school. But I guess that’s fairly normal.
Oh, love the pic of the boys!!
Ahh, welcome to the club.
For my kids, it’s not about the grades. They do well. It’s solely about sanity.
I love this pic too – thanks for commenting on it.
Frustration mounts. Tears are shed. Curses are spewed. And my children are upset too.
Love that, simply awesome. Homework…not so much.
Did we all go soft when it comes to homework?
I hate homework!!! Yes, occasionally I will cheat. Reading logs really annoy me. We love to read but having to fill out those logs somehow takes some of the joy out of it. However, there are times I will not cheat and I get a little aggressive. Do not send homework with skills you have not gained some level of mastery with the children in class. I will not teach new skills. I will reinforce, drill when necessary, try to apply to every day activities but I will not teach my own children. That is your job. I will not force them to do busy work. We don’t have time! And, if you say your homework should only take twenty minutes, guess what, that’s all we do. I have no problem sending an email saying the homework is not done and why. I know, I can be a little bitchy.
Same thing here. My boys are big readers but filling out the long and making sure it’s accurate are a pain.
Good for you for standing up and drawing a line! I agree 100% with your take on skills and the parents role versus the teacher’s role.
I hate homework! I think that kids need a break from school – they shouldn’t have to spend time working on school while at home! And yes, I’ll help Mr. T and I’ll cheat for him any time I can! I love Google, too, it makes things so much easier! 🙂
Google – it’s beautiful in so many ways.
I hope you are learning while doing the homework – I know I do.
My kids went to a Montessori school, so they had little homework until middle school, at which point Montessori starts to give them more to prepare them for high school in the “real world.” So fortunately, I didn’t have this experience! They only had maybe a half-hour of homework after school in their elementary years, and though there was more in middle school, by then they didn’t need much help. Plus, my oldest helps my youngest if need be. Now in high school they have plenty, but they’re completely self-sufficient by this point. Phew. Sounds like I dodged a bullet!
It’s not that my kids get so much, at least not regularly, but the patience level is thin and their hand writing is weak.
I’m curious about Montessori schools. The model interests me.
I love the concept. In fact, it was my public-school teaching sister and mother who first told me about it when my oldest was hating kindergarten. He had fine motor delays, and according to him, all they did in class was cut and paste. Yet he was already doing fractions in his head. We switched him to Montessori in first grade (our youngest started in it at preschool). It was a game-changer for him. He could do advanced math and still learn to better his fine motor skills. He no longer hated school.
People mistakenly think Montessori education has no structure. That’s not the case at all (of course, every Montessori school is different). Kids still need to complete their tasks, but they can pick and choose what they want to work on at the time. Plus, they’re not confined to a desk. They can move around the room. That’s a big plus for boys especially. The further they advance, the more structure they have (e.g., math in the morning, English afternoon, etc.), or at least that was the case at my kids’ school. Also, there’s a great emphasis on socialization and good stewardship.
I’m glad it worked so well for your oldest. I have a feeling my older son would work very well in a Montessori school. It is an interesting model.
I’m so sorry I haven’t been here for such a long time… all of a sudden I realized I don’t get the notifications anymore when you posted – so I re-subscribed.
Please forgive me… It’s been quite busy with the book publishing and everything… but I promise I’ll try to check back more often!!
So good to hear from you. Truthfully, I’ve not seen your blog for a while. I did note that you published something but did not catch the details. Awesome! I hope it’s a huge success.
Our problem here is that one child is academically gifted AND gives a crap about homework, while the other one struggles in certain areas and couldn’t care less. This year is better than last so far, but still not super great. GRRRR to homework.
Glad it has gotten better.
I suppose one needs your help – yes let’s call it that while the other is okay on his/her own.
I’d be happy to learn new methods.–Haha! Awesome. I’m not sure how I, as a homeschooling parent, relate to this. I’m almost always helping them with their homework, as in, we sort of do it together. Well sometimes they’re totally on their own, but then I look it over and make them fix it. If they don’t know how, I tell them how. I think what you’re doing has to be totally common. You can only take so much before everyone gets to their breaking point. I hear ya.
Avoiding that breaking point or backing out as soon as it’s reached is the key.
I think it very well may be common also.
Homework is always frustrating in our home too. For some reason, this year Jake has learned to do his homework instead of the usual 30 minutes of complaining and crying. Not sure if it’s because he’s getting older or he just wants to get it over so he can play on the ipad/watch TV.
I’ve stopped trying to help him with his math – I can’t understand why they teach it differently then when we were kids. It’s numbers, it’s math, how can log division be taught any other way?
BR is better too but the neatness thing is such a pain!
Blame the common core for that math issue.