Need More Winter Olympics? Join us in the Suburbs!!

Snow covered car - ready to drive

Keep the snow – ready to ride!

So long Sochi.

Bye bye Winter Olympics.

What are you going to watch from 8-11 pm?  Don’t fear. I have the perfect idea to fill your viewing void. Yes I am the bearer of good tidings.

Today I bring you – DRUM ROLL PLEASE – news of the Winter Olympics – Suburbs Style.

Who needs the Alps, Rockies or Himalayas?  Or even a mountainous area?

Not the Winter Olympics – Suburbs Style. That’s for sure.

Check out these events:

  1. Pot Hole Jumping – athletes run over ice and snow. They then leap over a massive pothole that has arisen due to excessive salting during this winter of our discontent. A clean landing and takeoff are keys. In fact, athletes will be judged based on their approach, landing and of course if they actually clear the pothole.
  2. Snow Pile Walking  – this one’s all about speed and balance folks.  Athletes will walk briskly over jagged mounds of snow which stand up to eight feet high. The snow pile will start at the end of the driveway and end at a bus stop. Of course the wind plays a factor too as well as the lost gloves, hats and other winter paraphernalia that liter the snow pile.
  3. Snowman Building – creativity, patience, teamwork, and speed are required for this event. Yes teamwork. This is a two person event – parent and child (under 10) will build a snowman five feet tall. Each snowman will be made out of three balls of snows. Arms and facial features must be included. Points will be subtracted for children wining, throwing tantrums, or simply walking away.
  4. Newspaper Dash – speed and balance. Which athlete has got this package? The athlete will run down icy steps (with an iced railing) around a car, and another car, over a flower bed fence to the end of their driveway, unbury the newspaper, and have to run back. In their thermal bathrobes. Style counts baby!
  5. Snow Car Driving  – this event is about vision and brushes. Yes, brushes. Each athlete will be armed with a snow brush to remove snow from their car (I see sponsorship opportunities) and driving to Home Depot (another sponsorship. This event is a bonanza!). Sounds simple right? Hold on to your minivan dvd player, there’s more. You see athletes must decide how much snow to brush off as each swipe takes time. The best athletes can clear a small patch of front window on the driver’s side and still navigate the route with ease.
  6. Driveway Ice Skating – grace, beauty, balance. This event requires it all. Couples dancing gracefully to their favorite Kidz Bop song while their children shield their eyes in embarrassment yelling stop. By the end of the song the couple will have made it to the bottom of the driveway incline and lifted up their fallen trashcans. Oh and ice skates are forbidden. Instead thick woolen clunky books are required for each member of the duo.
  7.  Snow blower Races – self-explanatory, I know. However, let me tell you about the history behind this. You see the first Suburb Olympics in Levittown, NY had Shoveling Races. This is the first Olympics where Snow blowing has replaced Shoveling. The purists are in an uproar. However, all can appreciate the challenge that comes with keeping the blower on the sidewalk and driveway and not going on the lawn. After all tearing up the lawn is an indefensible crime in the suburbs. 

So what do you say to Winter Olympics – Suburbs Style? Sounds great – right? Even better, I think I might be able to compete in an event or two.  How about you?

Photo is Courtesy of Flickr

Lost That Loving Feeling?

It’s that time of the year.  No, I don’t mean March Madness, regular season baseball, April Fool’s Day, or Spring Break.  This is big – well, at least it is in my world. And I’m afraid I lost that loving feeling.

I went shopping. I don’t mean food shopping – I’ve written about my strange interest in that regular chore. I mean clothes shopping. Really, that’s your big news? That’s probably what you are thinking.  I understand and I am sorry if you feel let down, but please read on.

Mirror mirror on the wall, who is the vainest one of all? While not the vainest of all, I must admit I’m a bit vain.

However, I would argue with someone who gave me such a title. I like to buy myself new clothes. I think if I had the means and a bigger closet, I might just be a clothes hound.

As a side note, I hate it when people are particularly impressed with my clothes – too weird for me to say ensemble – and  they assume my wife picked out my clothes. Not that she doesn’t have great taste (she picked me, didn’t she?) but give credit where credit is due.

Ironically, I don’t particularly like shopping. I am a bit picky and am on a tight budget – challenging combination. At this point, my wife does much of the shopping for everyday clothes. However, when it comes to formal wear – ties, suits, dress shirts, etc – I handle that myself.

There are two times a year when I do my shopping – that’s why this shopping trip is a big deal. I go around the end of August and sometime in March. The reason for these semi-annual trips is because holidays follow shortly thereafter and as part of my celebration of the holiday, I like to wear at least one knew article of clothes. It makes the holiday more special.

So, yesterday, I went to the The Outlets at Bergen Town Center. I wandered around to a few stores but ultimately ended up at Century 21. I usually go there as they have a nice variety and good prices. In fact, I even have a VIP Loyalty Card dangling on my key chain. That’s commitment.

Yesterday was different. You know how when you go shopping and you buy something that you like and you are excited to wear it because it will look good or you will look good in it (remember, I did say I was vain)? Well, I did not get that feeling. Yes, I liked the items I bought, but the excitement was not there. I don’t why.  In fact, I left the store anxious to get to my car while feeling sweaty and dizzy.

What’s going on with me. Was I just run down?  Was I just in a rush because I wanted to get home and put my son to bed?  Was it that I had work to do and my mind was not into it?

I don’t know. In six more months, I’ll be back at the stores again. We’ll see if the shopping trip once again becomes one of those ‘that time of the year’ events.