Tag Archives: ramblings

Please Come Back

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37

It’s enough.

But it’s still on my mind.

Don’t bore your readers.  They’re tired of hearing you talk about this.

But aren’t you supposed to write what is on your mind? Isn’t that how the best blog posts get written?

I guess so. But consider your audience.

I do consider them, but I need one more entry, and I think it will be out of my system.

—

I’m sorry. Did you hear that? It was a conversation I was having with my writer self. I recently read about someone else conversing with their muse over at a blog – authenticlifejourneys.com I follow (and recommend by the way).

Anyway, the storm and its affects are still on my mind. You see my family and I are still without power. I know, I know – so many people are really suffering while we are just inconvenienced.  I understand and feel bad for complaining.  However, last night the temperature got below 50 in my house while the darkness descended by 5. It was a long cold night and I am sick of this! I want my life back.

This weekend was a tease. We spent the weekend at my mother’s condominium. Heat, light – ahh the comforts of modern life.  It was beautiful and so appreciated.  It was hard to leave. I prayed that when we got home, and the electric would be back on.

No such luck. The electric company (PSEG) said we would be back by Sunday at midnight, then Monday at midnight, and then Tuesday at midnight. The have a PDF with each county and when the power will come on at each place. If they can predict it with such accuracy, why can’t they just make it faster? I’m sure they are doing their best but that does not take away the frustration.

I have been moving slowly since the storm has hit. This is not like me – I’m a doer. I make lists. I accomplish.  And now Sandy has struck, and everything has changed. Life has taken on a Ms. Havisham like pace.

I woke up last night somewhere in the early a.m. after dreaming of warmth.  I popped my head out from under my covers hoping that the heat had come on. The chill that hit my nose put reality in my face. I readjusted my hat and snuggled against the flannel sheets.

In the meantime, I am back at work and the children are back at school. We will return home as if it was a normal day. Then the darkness will descend, and we will be left sitting and hoping that tonight will be the night when normality truly returns.  I am tired of this!

 

Missing Youth

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40

“We’re not gonna take it. No, we ain’t gonna take it. We’re not gonna take it anymore,” Twisted Sister.

Eurorail train schedules, Let’s Go Europe, and maps surrounded the unemployed 23 year old. He was planning out his backpacking through Europe summer. Responsibility and reality be damned. The epitome of freedom and youth.

“Larry,” my father shouted as he came into my room undetected.

I jumped, “Oh, hi dad.’

“Does the music have to be so loud?”

“Sorry.” I turned down the music.

“What is all the stuff,” he motioned at the paraphernalia that decorated my floor.

“Planning my summer trip.”

“Oh.” He shook his head, half smiled, and walked away after reminding me to keep the music lower.

I looked at the information around me, contemplated my looming weeks long trip, and considered my unemployed status. I felt guilty. Then, I got over it.

—

Yesterday, I was assisting a girl with her college application essay. During the tutoring session, she started talking to her mother. “Mommy,” she said “I am going create an empire.” She was certain that the business she had recently begun was bound for big things. I raised my eyebrows but said nothing. Her mother smiled a yes dear smile. The girl bubbled on so proud of her declaration that she wrote it down.

Another college recruiter visited my senior class. He talked about his school and how attending there will enable the students to achieve their academic goals. This of course will enable them to fulfill their dreams. Never mind the 70 average.

—

“I’m happy she is getting a chance to go away,” she explained. “But when I dropped her off, I felt a little jealous.”  So my fellow writer said at a recent writer’s group meeting. She clearly felt a little guilty. There was no need to apologize as the rest of us – parents with children in various stages – shook our heads feeling the same such feelings.

—

It’s not youth we want. It’s the unbound enthusiasm. It’s the certainty that everything is not only possible but a mere question of when.

I wish good things for my tutee, my students, and my co-writer’s daughter. I hope they achieve big and great things. They are in an amazing and exciting stage in their lives.

By the time you reach a certain age, there is some level of stuckness (I know it’s not a word, but it so fits). Whatever you’re level of contentment – nice family, decent job, comfortable home – choices have been made, life is being lived, and dreams come in size small.

The world is not our oyster. It’s not free for the taking. As adults, we know this. Lumps can and will be doled out. I, for one, am okay with that. I will cope and be happy for the dreams of the kids around me, hopeful about fulfilling my goals, and content with the wisdom I have gained.

Reject Me!!!

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Sometimes in life we face rejection. I know positive-thinking types might say something like, “Well, you learn as much as or more from your failures as you do from your successes.” They may have a point. However, rejection still sucks. Yet, I crave rejection.

A few years ago, I initiated the YOC. YOC stands for year of communication. I was tired of the irony that–despite the incredible ease and multiple outlets for communication–people seem worse at communicating. One of my very few type A personality traits is returning calls/emails/texts etc. expediently. I don’t accept someone saying I was too busy to get back to you. Do you know anyone who is not busy these days? Okay, there may be a couple, but you know what I mean. There is always time for a two-line email or an 8-word text. “Crazy busy over here. Talk to you soon.” I am perfectly content with that type of rejection. So, go ahead friends/family – reject me.

There was a point that I was considering switching schools. Fortunately, I was able to get some interviews. Unfortunately, none of the interviews materialized into jobs. It’s okay. That’s life. I can move on. Really, I can. But something about the process pissed me off. I took time out of my schedule to prepare myself, come to you, answer your questions, and send you a thank you. Is it too much to expect a rejection letter? Tell me no thanks, good luck, and see you never. Yeah, I can easily get over the lack of communication, but it’s not cool dude. Not cool. Just reject me.

One of my goals this summer was to send off some of my work in the hopes of getting it published. I did have a touch of success and a couple of misses (including one where the publication simply publishes the winners without letting the rest of us know we were not chosen). The rest of my submissions – to quote the band Genesis – “No Reply at All.” Now, some (hopefully all) will be contacting me shortly to let me know that they received my submission. The editors will tell me my work blew them way. Ok, maybe not. I can handle it. A writer with thick skin (well, at least not reed thin) – can you believe it? Anyway, reject me.

I feel better now that I have gotten this off of my chest. In fact, I am ready to scream reject me. Just don’t ignore me.

Political Junk

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The presidential race is finally nearing the finish line. Really, it is. I am not running for office or involved in the least (well, I did make contributions to some candidates I support, but that’s different), and yet, I am exhausted. This political junkie is ready for the election and a break. I can’t imagine how the presidential candidates feel, particularly the incumbent, who has to balance a somewhat stressful day job – leader of the free world – while he strives to secure a second term. He probably has the time management thing down. Either way, it’s hard to always look good.

Mitt Romney declared his candidacy for presidency way back in June of 2011 while other Republican contenders declared up to two months prior.  So, even if you discount the fact that many speculated he would run for president  the day after he suspended his campaign in 2008, he will be officially running for president for nearly a year and a half upon election day in early November. That is a great deal of time to be in the glare of the media.

In fact, it is so much time that things have gotten a bit silly. Yes, silly I say. With this excessive amount of time, 24/7 news cycle, and billions of dollars spent (I can’t believe that there are not better ways to spend the money), the information being disseminated is overkill. This political junkie believes that the election is critically important. The electorate should strive to be knowledgeable about each candidate’s positions and make an educated decision.

Every Saturday evening as we enjoy the final meal of the Sabbath, my friends and I debate over which candidate deserves to be elected. This week someone noted that a story about dresses worn by Michelle Obama and Ann Romney was placed prominently in the newspaper. Are you kidding me? Exactly how is that relevant? Now, if that was featured on “Kelly and Mike,” I could understand.  Unfortunately, this is not the first ‘story’ I have heard which is being passed off as hard news but is actually utterly unimportant.

Here are the headlines:

OBAMA PICKED HIS NOSE – In first grade, the man who would become president pulled out a bugger.  This disgusting act of poor hygiene proves he is incapable of running a clean campaign.

ROMNEY CHANGED LANES WITHOUT SIGNALING – While heading to work, Mr. Romney recklessly maneuvered his luxury car in front of a Hyundai. He must not care about the little guy.

OBAMA HICCUPED DURING THE NATIONAL ANTHEM – While attending his high school football team’s homecoming game during his senior year, the president hiccupped noticeably. He clearly had no pride in the anthem and is not a believer in American Exceptionalism.

ROMNEY DIDN’T LAUGH AT A JOKE – Doesn’t everybody think that comedians are hilarious? Well, Mitt Romney only smiled and didn’t laugh. He clearly is a stiff.

Am I joking? I think so. Just Google them and confirm…

Let’s get a grip everybody. Study the issues, the candidates’ positions, and vote for who you think will best serve our country. That’s what this political junkie is more than ready to do.