The world keeps moving. Slow down at the risk of falling behind. It’s 24/7. Now, now, now. No one waits for anything. Must, must, must.
But I need to escape. I need to clear the clutter from my brain. I can’t keep swimming.
It’s Friday evening and the Sabbath has begun. I’m in the synagogue and nearly done the evening prayers.
In fact, I’ve just completed the silent Shmoneh Esrei prayer which is said to ones’ self while standing and still. It is the centerpiece of the evening service. I’ve taken three steps backward to symbolize my taking leave from God and the last of the words have been silently said. They prayer is done. But before I take a step forward and return to the world, I pause. I have something to add.
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Some moments have a long term impact. Blissfully, many do not.
July 14 marked three years since I started blogging. I went back and looked at some of my early posts and came across one about BR playing Kickball.
Here’s a few lines from the post:
“They said he was the worst kick ball player ever.”
“BR said,” my wife continues as we are lying in bed “that the kids said he is the worst kickball player ever.”
“Who said it,” I replied angrily. I wanted to yell at all the kids or even worse. I buzzed my wife, to give me more details about BR and what occurred.
“He didn’t say names. He just said a bunch of kids.”
“Yes, he is unhappy about it.”
“No, he didn’t say anything back at them.”
“I don’t know why he didn’t say anything back at him.”
“I told him next time someone says something mean to him, he should use his voice and tell them to stop just like Flat Stanley did.”
“He is anxious for Tuesday.”
“Because on Tuesday, he is going to be the captain of the team.”
Now, I am worried about Tuesday. I don’t want him to embarrass himself, feel bad about the situation, or be over anxious.
I went on to note my wish that my children would have acquired my sports acumen as it was a huge asset in helping me get deal with my own shyness. I also explained the challenges my children face and promised that I would work with and support BR.
Why bring this up now?
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