Could This Child Really Be Mine?

Is that my son dancing?

SJ showing his finest moves on the dance floor.

Did you ever look at your child and think to you yourself, he/she is just like me?

Of course you have. And in many ways, it’s kind of cool. And not narcissistic.

Today was not one of those days.

My wife and I are both on the shy side. We are not in your face sort of people. Let others have the spotlight. We’ll be fine to chill off to the side in small groups.

This weekend we attended a family bar mitzvah of my little cousin, GR. He’s a good kid with a nice sense of humor and positive disposition. My wife and I had a lot of fun at the bar mitzvah. We got to catch up with family, enjoy some tasty food, and share the joy with GR and his parents.

The day was about GR, but SJ, my soon to be 7-year-old nearly stole the show.

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Gross: Read with Caution

I’ve said this before. My boys have bad aim. I don’t mean in darts. I don’t mean at a shooting range. I don’t mean at bowling. I think you know what I mean. My wife blames me. The woman who takes responsibility for everything refuses to touch this one. “They’re boys – you’re supposed to teach them,” she lectures me.

“It’s not my fault,” I try to plead.

But she ain’t hearing any of that. “Well, you need to figure something out, because I am sick of this.” “This” is a smelly, soggy bathroom. Seriously, when one of my boys has to pee in the middle of the night, it is ugly. I imagine turning on the light when they are going and it being like rookie firemen trying to control a hose for the first time. Seriously. Anyway, walking into the bathroom the next morning – I can understand what Washington went through when he forged the Delaware.

I’ve tried yelling at them. “This is disgusting. It smells in here. Don’t you smell it?”

I’ve tried cajoling them through reason. “This is our house. You have to care about our house. Don’t you want you our house to smell nice?”

I’ve tried forcing them to do all the clean up. “Bend down and wipe this up!”

Nothing has worked!

Maybe, it is time to be evil. They love Apple Juice. This could be a mixer. Naah, who am I kidding? That is too disgusting. Besides, I’m not that evil.

Truth is I got nothing. I guess at this point I am putting it in the category of they will do better as they get older.

However, I look to you dear reader. Can you please help me with your suggestions? In the meantime, I will keep buying Renuzit in bulk.