I want to own the internet. Yes, that’s what I want.
Some of the guys in my Dad Bloggers Facebook group joke about this.
Nearly every one of these guys blogs has a gazillion followers and thousands of likes. And has gone viral.
So, why not me?
Now, I’m not saying going viral would make me smarter, healthier, or handsomer. But it would be cool and fun to see the numbers shoot up higher than Keith Richards in the 70’s.
I’m going to admit something here. Deep breath required before I type this next sentence. I go through phases where I check my blogging stats eight times (or maybe even more) a day. Now, I’m not proud of my obsessiveness, neediness, or deliriousness.
Again, I ask why can’t one of my posts go viral?
Why, why, why?
Now, it can’t be my writing. That’s some kind of quality going on there.
Then, you have my topics. Well, you have some winners there. Touching, funny, and insightful. Check, check, and check.
Some say going viral is all about the title. Once again, I say check. Especially lately.
So, you have top notch writing, quality material, and intriguing headlines. What’s the problem then?
Really, what’s left?
I often play the role of guilty parent.
I blame myself (or my wife but I don’t want to talk about that – family peace – know what I mean?) for all of my children’s faults.
SJ is impatient and rushes through nearly everything. That description fits me to a tee.
BR is not artistic and doesn’t care. Ditto for me.
On top of that, both my children are shy. One more trait inherited by my children from me. Aren’t they lucky?
They did get some good traits from me as well, but I’ll save that for another post.
However, there are some things that are my children’s fault.
Yes. They are the reason I have not had a blog post go viral. I’m convinced. I don’t care how you spin it. This one is on the children.
You see as a dad blogger, my posts are often children focused. Well, I don’t have to tell you that. You read each post with great excitement as soon as it pops up.
Anyway, pictures are the key to going blogging/going viral. Readers love pictures.
However getting a good picture of my children is a nearly impossible.
No, they are not ugly. In fact, my children are rather handsome if you ask me though I’m obviously biased.
So, getting a picture should be a snap.
All they have to do is freaken smile and look at the damn camera!
Instead, my children look the wrong way, or move, or make the fake smile.
You see that mediocre pic in the middle of the montage above this post. That was the 7th try and by the end of this photo session I was muttering. It’s enough to make you tear your hair out (no, I am not blaming them for my baldness. Well, not completely).
By the way, can you imagine my boys sitting for one of those old time photos? You know the ones where people are all dressed up and had to sit for hours to have a photograph.
So, the reason I have not had a post go viral is my children. Yes, that’s it. It has to be.
Darn kids! Just smile and the internet would be all mine.
P.S. I feel guilty. I must confess. I don’t take good pictures either. Damn.
photo credit: <a href=”http://www.flickr.com/photos/robinhamman/2117128959/”>robinhamman</a> via <a href=”http://photopin.com”>photopin</a> <a href=”http://creativecommons.org/licenses/by-nc/2.0/”>cc</a>
I think you’ve clearly shown the thoughts of every blogger!
As an experiment, a few weeks ago I Googled “top blogs for mothers” or something similar. Then I went to see what they all were offering, and I was shocked. Most of them are nothing more than ads for new products. The writing was spotty, and sometimes terrible. It made me cranky.
Maybe I should write less and advertise more!
I find that everything needs to be a list.
Anyway, what you note is depressing.
I’m the opposite–I don’t check my stats enough. I know we’re supposed to be able to learn something from them (e.g., which posts are the most popular, how people landed on our site, etc.), but other than occasionally glancing at the funny search terms that lead to my blog, I forget to go there. Probably because I don’t understand them much… 😉
Wow. In a way, I wish I was like that. Write cause I want too and not to satisfy some internal critic that will never be satisfied anyway.
I think this is quite an interesting post. I do check my stats regularly. I’m really curious how things are going.
As for the kids… I can’t say anything… *chuckle*
Thanks for sharing!! 🙂
I am trying to check less. It takes discipline because getting caught up in the numbers is not good for me.
It’s the old comparing yourself to others thing, something that’s extremely dangerous and most bloggers (especially me) become obsessed with. I don’t check my stats, but I wonder why I don’t get that many comments or FB likes or whatever. I wrote not too long ago about how intimidated I felt (and still feel) joining Dad Bloggers. I often feel like an ant in a world of giants. I admittedly wrote a piece about Santa delivering my daughter because there have so many holiday posts and I kind of thought it’d take off. It didn’t. And then I sit there and think I’m a sucky writer to which people tell me I’m being too hard on myself. Regardless, totally understand that desire to go viral and I love the humorous spin u put on it. So take the advice which I seemingly can’t follow myself: stop comparing yourself to others. You’re as good and original as anyone else out there
Yes, you are so right. Comparing to others is so dangerous. I know this and let myself go down that road way too often.
Let’s hope that both of us can follow your advice.
P.S. I really appreciate that last comment.
Now, I need to go read about Santa delivering a baby.
Oh Larry. You hit a sensitive spot there. I have been there a few times myself. And I occasionally get discouraged with the whole blogging thing. Then, I do bring myself to write a post, I see how much the people I have come to feel like friends support me and that makes it all worthwhile. I have found though that ever since I started writing once or twice a week, I don’t take the numbers too seriously. You know?
P.S. You rock Larry, don’t let anyone else tell you otherwise 😉
I appreciate the rocking thing – thanks T.
I know you are right about the people and the connections things but sometimes I struggle with being content with what I have. Okay, I struggle a lot with it. I hope you don’t know what I mean.
I do know what you mean.
Hi Larry, love those numbers. Nothing wrong with checking how your site is progressing. Don’t worry too much about content of similar blogs, have a look at how they are tagging them. Trying to get a good picture of kids or animals? Set your camera to take multiple shots and you’re bound to get something usable. Get them in action mode and you’ll find they won’t be bothered about the camera. Good post btw.
Those numbers you saw were not mine. They would be too depressing.
I think you are right about the action mode – my boys are not the posing type.
I don’t know why you haven’t gone viral yet, but I think this article is great. Your articles have been so helpful to me in many ways. I like your sharing about your boys. It brings back my own childhood and believe me when I say, your sharing about their lives has helped me to reconcile some of the things that I didn’t quite understand about myself in my childhood.
So, whether or not you go viral is not so important for me. It is what you write that very often touched the strings of my heart.
Keep up the good work.
Thanks Patty – you always seem to know what to say.
I am thrilled to know that my posts have made a positive impact. That is beyond awesome.
Amen! I have many of these same issues (except smiling kids – I can’t take a picture of my daughter crying, she smiles whenever she sees a camera or phone pointed at her). I check my blog stats frequently after I post something, but not so much otherwise. I wish I could get some more traffic, but I need to post more frequently, but the dang kids keep me too busy to write stuff. It will all come to fruition. It has to, doesn’t it?
I think it has to. I hope it does at least. Ahh but the question is – what does coming together mean to you? Sorry, getting philosophical here.
Haha. Cute. Blame it on the pictures. They are cute kids, though.
I agree – now if they could just smile on cue!
I thought I commented on this last week! I came back to see the reply and low and behold – I never left a comment! That was funny, and I totally feel your pain – I’ve written some posts and think “That should have gone all over the world!”. Normally, I’m not obsessed with my stats, but I do check them almost daily. Nothing worse than when post falls flat! But, the boys looked great in those shots – so expressive!
Nice way to put it – very diplomatic. I go through phase where I am more hung up on numbers than others. I think it comes down to social media. But really, what do I know?
Happy for your comment whenever comes. Always good to hear from you.
I don’t know if you’d own the internet just from taking photos (I think you need Google protektzia, too) but those are two cute kids!
BTW a good picture does not always equal kids looking at the camera. I think both of your pictures are really good. This, of course, separate from the cuteness of the kids.
I would probably get more hits, too if I put pictures (and went back to posting often). But I don’t feel comfortable putting pictures on the internet, soooo . . . .
I do think picture help but there is more to it. I am not great at the marketing thing. I am not a social media fiend or expert.
Thanks for the comments on the boys.