This new year, I’m putting on rose colored glasses. Gonna be optimistic, gonna see things in their best light gonna move forward.
I’m not naïve or simple or foolish. But I truly believe that perception is reality. I will look for the positive, emphasize the positive, and be positive.
Recently, I read about the locus of control. It’s a psychological term developed by Dr. Julian Rotter in the 1950’s. People can have an internal or external locus of control.
Those who have an internal locus of control believe that their success or failure is based upon their personal efforts. Those who have an external locus of control think success is based on luck, chance, etc. and their own effort has minimal impact on success. By the way, it’s not one or the other – Rotter developed a scale and a test to determine where on the scale a person is.
To make it simple, a person decides if they are a victim or the determining factor in their own fate.
This year, I’m putting on rose colored glasses and accepting responsibility for my own fate.
But there’s more to it than that. My plan for this year is to make the most out of it. Yes, plans will go awry, frustrations will come, disappointments will occur, people will not come through, etc.
All those things listed above will happen. Just like it happened last year, the year before that, and the year before that. It happens for everyone – it’s called life.
While I can’t make everything go right, I choose how I see things. I choose how I react. I choose what to do next.
Self-determination is a powerful act. I can choose to see things as bleak, to take no action, to be defeated. I can also choose to work harder, analyze and move forward in a smarter way, to have perspective, to consider the bigger picture.
As I came home from synagogue the other day, BR was apologizing to me. He was going on about my computer. I didn’t know what he was talking about. As I took off my coat, I looked over and saw Mrs. MMK sitting at the dining room table – my laptop was in front of her.
Mrs. MMK had a puzzled look on her face. She was fidgeting with the computer.
“What’s he talking about?”
“He sat on your computer screen.”
“He what?” At that moment, I saw the screen Mrs. MMK was looking at. In non-technical terms (I don’t know technical terms), the screen was damaged. She was able to turn the computer on, but the images on the screen were not clear. Part of the screen was black, and the other part had flickering images.
I’d like to say I had perspective. It’s only a computer. It was obviously an accident. It was going on, so data was, in all likelihood, retrievable.
Instead, I yelled. “How could you be so careless? What were you thinking? Do you know my work is on there?” Blah blah blah.
I was angry. And scared. What would become of my work. I had a deadline coming up. I had worked hard and completed part of the project that day. And of course, I did not back it up. What was I going to do? I felt panic.
As Mrs. MMK and I drove to Micro Center (their service and repair department is excellent) to have them look at the computer, perspective began returning. The internal locus of control flickered. “Okay. How am I going to handle this? What can I do to make the best of this situation, etc? How do I talk to BR to make him understand he must be more careful?”
Turn around time to get that to point was not as quick as I would like. However, there have been times in my life where that turn around time has been much longer and my initial reaction has been much worse. This was not awful. I could see the videotape and not have to cringe. Progress.
But I want to do better than that. So, I ‘ll put on the rose colored glasses. I’ll make the best of situations, accept struggles and strive to move forward, I’ll adjust based on the facts. I’ll be a person with an internal locus of control.
P.S. The data was retrievable. I turned in the assignment before the deadline. I got the computer back. I talked to BR.