Arguments are loud. Arguments are ugly. Arguments are aggressive.
So, does an argument truly exist if it is silent and neither side acknowledges it?
Two words: HELL YES!!
I know of what I speak. Ms. MMK and I have had a number of silent arguments over the years. By the way, we have had plenty of the loud and ugly arguments too. No need to talk about those. Unpleasant memories that they are.
Anyway, Ms. MMK and I are nearing the end of our most recent silent argument. The issue: at what temperature to set the refrigerator.
I know it sounds like a ridiculous thing to argue about. Does it really freaken matter? Well, it’s far from Earth shattering, (If you want to read about Baltimore, Iran, or Bruce Jenner, you’ve come to the wrong place) but it can be teeth chattering.
Ms. MMK likes the refrigerator temperature to be set low. She likes her food and drink very cold.
Just how cold does she like it?
The refrigerator is so cold I have to take the water out 5 minutes before I want to drink it. My hand recoils when I touch the skin of an orange as I pull it out of the fruit bin. The apple sauce has ice formations at the bottom of the jar.
I, on the other hand, prefer the refrigerator temperature to be set at a more moderate rate. Not only does the food and beverage keep at tasty ready to eat/drink level, but it also happens to eco-friendly (Go Earth Day! Yeah, I know I’m a little late but isn’t the environment worth saving every day?).
By the way, this argument did not start off as a silent argument. I tried reasoning with Ms. MMK. I told her about the horrors mentioned above. My teeth literally started chattering when I took a drink of water. Somehow, I got no empathy. Cold woman (pun intended).
Ms. MMK countered that the milk and the other food was going bad at the temperature I set the refrigerator. Yes, a couple of things went bad, but that was just bad luck. I blame the stores.
Well, I’m sure you can see that I was right. Somehow Ms. MMK did not.
So, what has happened since? The temperature settings of the refrigerator have fluctuated more than the body a belly dancer.
Ms. MMK has turned the refrigerator to what she feels is the proper temperature setting on the sly, and I have done the same. We don’t bother trying to reason with each other about this change. There’s no point.
Every couple has their silent arguments. Right? Some of my fellow dad bloggers shared with me the silent arguments they have.
For Josh of daddyengine and his significant other, their silent argument revolves around toilet paper. Josh is an overhand guy while his significant other is an underhand fan. Josh and his significant other tried to talk it out. “She claimed it was easier to tear her way, I argued that I always ended up with more paper than I wanted. Eventually we hit an impasse and now wage covert warfare by silently switching the orientation every time one of us uses the restroom.”
For Carl of bigcheesedad and his wife, it’s about Coke. His wife habitually leaves her half-full cans all over the house. He asked her to put them in the sink or in the recycling which is next to the sink. But, she can’t be bothered. Carl wants to leave them sitting around but is worried that their 22 month old might get her hands on it. Carl is clearly not going to win this silent argument.
For Dustin of daddyneedsanap and his wife, it’s about Netflix. His wife falls asleep when they watch movies. He can either continue watching the movie or save it till the next night when she will probably fall asleep again. So, Dustin has movies piling up that he wants to watch. If he watches and returns the movies without his wife seeing them, she gets upset. So, he can either watch them on the sly or wait for his wife. He got the best of this argument because, “She didn’t even remember what movie it was she originally was so pissed that I returned before she finished it.”
Roberto of rantomthoughts and his wife are having a classical silent argument. He likes to bump music while doing things chores around the house. His wife, on the other hand, likes the music to be simply background noise. “So there are times when we each pass through the room adjusting the volume, but never acknowledging that it’s changing.”
David of dadsroundtable and his wife are having a silent argument that I suffer through as well as well. His wife does not shut things off – television, lights, etc. She figures she is coming back, so what’s the point. So, David shuts things off. He says, “I can track her movements throughout the house by what she leaves on.”
Yes, every couple has their silent arguments.
Tell me readers, what silent arguments have you been involved in?
Hmm, if we had a silent argument, it would be over the toilet paper and paper towel rolls. I’m a firm believer in an ‘over the top’ presentation while my husband would feel either over or under is acceptable. But given the fact I am apparently the only one in my home who sees empty rolls in need of replacement, it turns out to be a rather moot point. Wait, maybe the silent argument then is that no one else ever changes the rolls…
I think would be able to relate to this. I’m a slow towel filler upper.
Movies, movies, movies. Gah, I know that one. Can’t watch a movie after 8:30 without knowing I am going to have to watch the same section 3 times or listen to complaints about why I watched it.
Well, they’ll be silent arguments but the looks are loud enough to be heard.
My wife generally doesn’t care when I keep watching after she falls asleep. I guess I’m lucky.
And another in the list of reasons why I’m happily single!
I bet you have had such arguments with friends.
Can’t think of it at the moment, but I know we have at least one silent argument.
I’m sure you do!