Not The Beautiful Sunday I Imagined

Do you see his head?”

“I don’t see his head.”

“Now, do you see his head?”

No, you did not miss the message where I tell you we are expecting. We ain’t!

My family and I were at Bounce U. and SJ, my younger son, had struggled and ultimately made it to the top of a particularly challenging web-climber. Once he got to the top of the web-climber, he struggled over to the slide and came down. I had cringed when I saw him struggling to reach the top of the web-climber. The employee at Bounce U. had to help him and the other kids were growing impatient.

However, when SJ got to the slide, he had a big grin on his face. It was met by the smiles my wife and I had. When he reached the bottom of the slide, he jumped back up, whooped, and ran back over for another turn. As SJ ran by, I felt his head, and he was sweating from his earlier effort. I was thrilled by his determination.

BR and I were in a bouncer together. It had a basketball hoop and different size balls. Instead of shooting, BR and I ended up throwing the balls at each other. Well, we did until I finally tackled BR. We were play fighting and laughing.

My family and I were having a great time. Yet, part of me was sad.

It was a beautiful Sunday morning – sunny, light wind, and 65 degrees. If you inhaled deep enough, you could smell the smells of baseball.  The mowed grass, rawhide baseball, and the wood of a bat.

When I imagined being a father, it was always boys who perpetuated my dream. After all, I am one of 4 boys, and I have 6 nephews and only two nieces.  In fact, when I called my oldest brother to tell him my wife had a boy, he said, “Yeah, I know.”  He figured it was a foregone conclusion.

In my imagination, my son and I were always doing something athletic whether it was baseball, basketball, football, etc. We would toss the ball back and forth and bond at the same time. Maybe, I would coach his little league team or simply offer helpful tips on how to improve. I would fight the urge to be an over involved parent at his games. Either way, I would revel in his success and support him during the more challenging times.

Picture Courtesy of Google.comFather and Son playing baseball.

Picture Courtesy of Google.com
Father and Son playing baseball.

I never even considered that my children would not enjoy playing sports. Neither of my boys is especially athletic or overly interested. Yes, they will periodically, after prodding, play sports. However, they quickly tire of it. When they periodically want to play sports, I am happy to join them. If they ask for instruction, I give it. When they sit inside on a beautiful day or refuse to accept assistance, I try to shut my mouth and bite my lip. I have learned not to push. I’m not a Tiger Dad.

My boys don’t love playing sports, and I have to be okay with that. However, it makes me a little sad. Some might say my reaction is wrong, and they may be right. Yet, I had a vision, and I wish it had come true.

22 thoughts on “Not The Beautiful Sunday I Imagined

  1. OK, but your older one plays CHESS! That is awesome. Congrats on not being the tiger dad. I know how hard it is not to push.

    I understand where you’re coming from. My firstborn hates everything there is about school, learning, and reading. I always thought it would be different, since his parents were pretty successful in school. But, he’s a unique kid. Somewhere in all those quirks, there are special talents that will reveal themselves later.

    • Both my boys are great and I could write a list on how many wonderful things they do.
      However, sometimes when are visions get involved, we get stuck on things.

  2. It’s hard to let a dream die, but I understand that bittersweet feeling. My parenting reality hasn’t been all that I dreamed it would be either. Your boys are young yet, they may grow to love sports.

    • They may but I am not counting on it. My older boy has gotten into baseball – he loves the stats.
      My parenting reality – I like that term.

  3. I understand you Larry! I would be sad too if I find out my little boy doesn’t like sports. Like you I want to be there for him when he’s playing! but I’m just hoping! I enjoy sports very much since I’m a kid, I’m the first child and only girl with two brothers; so when I was growing up I played many sports and my dad loved it very much, I hope some day I will be able to share these moments with my son! 🙂 You know, my husband doesn’t like sports too much either and he didn’t play with his father much either but now that he’s older; he’s close with his father and they enjoy other activities together! 🙂 Hope you are having a great week!

  4. No, it’s not the wrong reaction to have, it is just your reaction. I will mourn the loss of your dream with you. I had a dream of T playing football. And he did, his first or second year of Middle School (6th or 7th grade, I really can’t remember which). I was so excited, I couldn’t wait to be a football mom, go to the games, be overly obnoxious about all of it. He hated playing. More importantly, I hated him playing. It was awful, it was boring, it was time consuming. That was one dream I was happy to let go of!

    • No need to mourn – sounds a little over the top.
      Why did you hate him playing – because he hated it?
      Well, that’s one less Cowboy. Btw, I heard they had a poor draft.

  5. I know what you mean. Ben isn’t overly athletic. I too just always assumed my son would be because his father and both his grandfathers have interest in sports and have all played sports. My father is a sports journalist after all! But it’s just never been his thing. But he’s 6 so who knows things could change. I think its okay to be disappointed in that. I’m sure if my daughter hated barbies and dolls I would be disappointed.

    • My sons are 6&9. Of course, things could change but I am not counting on it. I want to accept them as they are – which is two awsome kids with many talents.

  6. I totally understand. I’d probably feel the same way if Elisabeth doesn’t like reading or isn’t interested in playing a musical instrument. It’s ok to feel a little sad. Luckily you do lots of other things with your boys that they really enjoy and I know you treasure those moments just as much.

    • Thanks.
      YOu are righto. There are many wonderful things that they like and show talent in. I am lucky that I have such a wonderful realtionship with them and I look forward to fostering that relationship.

  7. You are choosing their best interests over your own! They will remember that some day, when they are adults. And they will be thankful!

    • That’s a nice way to look at it. Thanks.
      So, are you saying if one day, I am in the home they will be more likely to visit?

  8. In my book your reaction isn’t wrong, it’s completely honest. Just because we know the “right” reaction doesn’t mean we’re not human. You love those boys like crazy, it’s evident in every post, and your restraint in not pushiing them toward your wishes is laudable. I think you’re an awesome dad! And I enjoyed every moment of this post.

  9. I really get where you are coming from on this. I think I would be slightly disappointed if my kids weren’t into art. Actually, Iris didn’t seem to be into it as much as Bency but was always happy to sit with me and do projects. Now both kids are constantly drawing independently on their own all of the time. This isn’t quite the same as sports but ultimately it’s about sharing something you love with your children.

    • I appreciate that you get it – it is about sharing something you get with your children. Good way to put it.
      I am glad you are enjoying them following you in your passion.

  10. NOW I see why you love Jake’s baseball stories! I get it now.
    You know, they’re still both pretty young. Give them some time to really experience PE class and get introduced to different sports like track or tennis, maybe they’ll find an interest in doing something that’s not all over the TV every Spring and Fall.

    • Yes, it’s possible they will get more into playing sports or find one that they enjoy. That would be nice, but I am not counting on it. Again, there is only so much I want to push.

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