Nate Sees My Future?

MMK is playing host today. Nate the Great of insanityofmotherhood.com has agreed to do a guest post. She, yes Nate is a she (learn about the history of her name by following this link http://insanityofmotherhood.com/2012/08/07/origin-of-a-name/) I have been following her blog for about six weeks. One reason I particularly like her blog is she writes about the interaction she has with her teenage boys. The conversations and interactions are often head shaking. I figure this is my future, so I should study up what it will be like in the MMK household in a few years.

Thank you for the introduction, MMK.  Being asked to guest blog for MMK is an honor.  He is a talented writer and gives a much needed perspective of parenting, from the father’s view.  MMK’s style of writing is both intelligent and approachable. I’ve enjoyed reading theparenting adventures with his young sons and getting to know him as a person.

I am a wife and mother to three boys ages 5, 14 and 16.  My full-time job is caring for my family.  I am also in the middle of a midlife something – which explains why I am going a little insane.

Thanks MMK for allowing me space on your blog. Good luck with the boys in the teen years, you are going to need it.

Today’s blog is conversation I had with my teenage boys a few years ago about sex education. I am not squeamish about talking to the boys about sex. The boys on the other hand can think of nothing worse.

The Birds and the Bees

“Sex education may be a good idea in schools, but I don’t believe the kids should be given homework.”- Bill Cosby

Driving in the car I asked my big boys if Sex Ed had been taught.

“Boys, have you had your Sex Ed classes yet?” – Mom

“Not us. And hopefully we won’t ever have it.” – Tall Boy

“Oh, you are going to have Sex Ed buddy. They usually teach it at the end of the year, just to make the kids crazy.” – Old Boy

“Well, I am not going to the class….no way.  We had it in fifth grade and it was the horrible.” – Tall Boy

“You better be prepared. It’s worse in sixth grade. The teachers go into a lot more details about stuff.” – Old Boy

“Details? What do you mean details. Like what?” – Mom

“Well, you know stuff about relationships, being ready for sex and birth control. You know, stuff like that.” – Old Boy.

“Birth control? Oh, Jeez.  Do they talk birth control for men and women or just women?” – Mom

“They talk about birth control for men, Mom. Jeez, guys have sex too.” – Old Boy

“Thank you for the lovely reminder. I think I figured that part out. Do they talk about condoms? Do they show different types of birth control? Have you ever seen a condom?” – Mom

“MOM!” – Tall Boy and Old Boy.

“What? This is an important conversation. We have talked about sex plenty of times before. I want you boys to feel comfortable about talking to me about these things. By the way, if you need to look at a condom, Dad has some at home.” – Mom

“Oh, God.  Mom, we don’t want to hear about you and Dad. Come on.  I do not want to see a condom. Please get me out of the car.” – Tall Boy

“You know my mother didn’t say one word about the ‘birds and the bees’. I had to learn everything from my friends.” – Mom

“Grandma was a smart lady. I do not want to talk about this with you Mom, not driving in the car to school. Let’s end this conversation now…please.” – Old Boy

When I was young I always wished my mom had taken a little more time to explain how the whole sex thing worked. I had Sex Ed in sixth grade, but it only covered a bit about the female time of the month and showed some side views of male and female parts. Which by the way, was VERY interesting. Sex Ed did not answer the question I wanted answered, so I asked my teacher.

“Mrs. Shell, I was wondering?  What does it feel like to have sex? It must feel good right? Otherwise, why would anyone do it? – Young Nate ( inquisitive sixth grader)

“Well…um…that is an interesting question.  I mean, it does not really matter what it feels like when you are in love.” – Mrs. Shell (bewildered teacher)

I let the conversation about Sex Ed with my boys end. They will have their Sex Ed classes soon. I am sure the agony of talking with mom about sex, will be replaced with the torture of hearing their teachers talk about it. If the boys ever have questions about anything I’ll be ready, even how it feels to have sex. I’ll just make sure when it comes to the mechanics to direct them to my in-house expert, my husband.

18 thoughts on “Nate Sees My Future?

  1. Funny! I am not looking forward to those conversations with my kids. Although I do wish that my parents had taken more time and effort to talk about these things with me. Not that I wanted details or anything. 😉

  2. Oh, boy! I love how open you are about sex with your boys. I also wish my parents had said anything about the topic to me – nada! I have had one conversation with my daughter after she walked in on my husband and me having sex in the family room. Not fun, but one of my proudest parenting moments (not the walking in – that was a big mistake on our part – the conversation, silly!). Good work!

  3. Great post! I have three boys also – 14, 16 and 18 – and have had many of these conversations:). The one I think is equally important is about making a plan ahead of time. Not a plan to have condoms, but a plan whether or not they want to have sex. We talk a lot about the fact that it’s really hard to make a decision in the heat of the moment. They need to decide ahead of time if that’s what they want to do. And if not, which is clearly my preference, they need to not put themselves in the position to have to decide in the heat of the moment! We all know how it goes when decisions are made in the moment:)!
    They roll their eyes and don’t want to hear it, but I keep talking:)! Good luck!

  4. Pingback: The Anatomy Lesson « memyselfandkids

  5. My talk with my boys was a bit shorter and more direct. I asked them if they thought they were ready for sex. Lots of red faces and looking down followed. So I said, “Keep your pants zipped and your hands to yourself. If you want to have sex with a girl, be prepared to be a daddy and a husband, because pregnancy happens. Make sure both of you use birth control. There are condoms in my bathroom cupboard.” I figured they knew more about sex at their age than I did at 30. The world is a very different place. They were 15 and 17 at the time.

  6. Hi,
    Thanks for the great article. I don’t have children, but I can remember my school years. We didn’t have sex education. I come out of the south and the Southern Baptist mentaility had us all thinking babies come from storks that drop them down from the sky.
    I like your approach with your boys and wish you all the best.
    Ciao,
    Patricia

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