Just Can’t Cope Without My Soap

Courtesy of Flickr

Courtesy of Flickr

“Brit’s baby is Dante and Lulu’s,” said my wife’s email. The subject line read: I figured it out.

For those not in the know or the unaffiliated, Brit, Dante, and Lulu are characters from General Hospital. You know, “Just can’t cope without my soap, General Hospital.”

Now, I’d like to tell you I had no idea what my wife was talking about. However after a split second I knew just what my wife meant. And was surprised. I even emailed back – “Huh? How?”

My wife is very good at figuring out soap plot lines. In fact, she is the Jessica Fletcher of deciphering Soap plot lines.

It’s definitely not her only skill, but it is impressive.

Anyway, my wife is a television addict. She is the type who has the television on all day. I don’t know how much she is actually watching and how much is for background noise. I think it depends on the show.

However, when it comes to the Soaps, she is definitely paying attention. Soaps and shopping are how she decompresses from keeping on top of a full time job, the boys, and the house.

Therefore, if I want to talk or hang out with my wife at night, it is in front of the Soaps. And so I watch at least for short periods of time. Hence, I have come to know some of the characters and plot lines.

Now, I know enough to be annoying. You see, the shows kind of frustrate me. I want answers to the plotlines that go on forever. I even want the plotlines to have some semblance of reality. However, it’s like my wife always says – No character is ever really dead on a Soap. Decapitated? Mutilated? Disintegrated? Not a problem. You will be back in a year, and maybe even without plastic surgery.

Anyway, I ask my wife a million questions during the show to catch up and remember what I have missed or just to understand the sheer ridiculousness of the plot line.

Sample conversation:

“Who’s that character again?”

“That’s —.”

“So why is he with —-?”

“What do you mean?”

“I thought he was with the other one. What’s her name?”

“You mean —-?”

“Yeah I think so. Anyway, what happened?”


“So, why’s he with this one now?”

“He’s kind of with both now.”

“What do you mean?”

“Well he still likes —, but he used to have crush on —-. Now, —- realizes she is interested in him, but — is still getting over —-.”

“Uh huh. So, these two are going to get together?”

“It looks like it.”

“So, what’s going to happen to —-?”

“Would you just watch!” My wife reaches her breaking point with my questions.

A real intellectual conversation, I know. Well, at least we have not mentioned the children in 10 minutes.

By the way, now that my wife and I have talked, I think she is right about Brit’s baby. It makes total sense. I might even stay tuned. Thanks dear.

18 thoughts on “Just Can’t Cope Without My Soap

  1. LOL – I don’t feel so bad about my TV shows anymore – it’s nice to know that others have their own TV addictions!

  2. I started watching GH back in the day! Around 1980 it got really, really good. If you weren’t around for Luke and Laura, you missed the best part. From what I could tell, it was something of a cultural phenomenon. I haven’t watched it in about 20 years, but I know enough to know who Lulu is.

    I currently watch Mad Men, and my husband does the same thing with all the questions! I just want to tell him, if you haven’t been keeping up I can’t help you!

    • I actaully watched it when I was younger. The mother of a friend of mine used to watch. When I would go his house, I would see it. I think it got to the point where I timed my visits and then watched on my own. However, I stopped for year before seeing it again with my wife.

  3. I used to watch soaps but I gave up on them a few years ago and haven’t missed them for even a second! I’d much rather read a good book, actually, I’d even rather read a really bad book 🙂

    • I’d prefer a book too. I have made this suggestion to my wife. Her work is concentration intensive and she prefers this to just decompress. She does read for pleasure but at different times.

  4. ha!ha! Larry, I love this post! I can relate with everything and it really made me laugh! 🙂 I read it to hubby too!
    sorry to have missed so many of your posts lately Larry but I am trying to catch up with everyone’s now! I love watching soaps too 🙂
    it all started when I was a kid, my grandma used to watch them when she was babysitting us, so I would sit next to her and watch them! I’ve been an addict of GH since the age of 13. My best friend and I never missed an episode after school (Brenda + Jagger) then (Brenda + Sunny) and yes now (Lulu + Dante) , hey I almost named our son Dante! 😉 & I know, how how the guy and the girl are playing different roles now and they are father and daughter again! ???
    ha!ha! 🙂 Larry, you are like hubby, he asks me the same questions and he says he doesn’t like soaps, hmmmm …. I know he does 😉

    • I actually watched when I was younger as well. I got hooked by the mother of a friend. Anyway, I stopped for years. And now my wife has Soap Net channel.
      Be paitent with hubby. We have our issues.

  5. I used to watch Days of Our Lives. I gave it up as it was so addictive. And kind of annoying. I mean, some of those plot lines?? So not realistic. That’s why I stick to Sci Fi.

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