If Cheese Grew on Trees

Miller's American Cheese does not grew on trees

If cheese grew on trees, I’d be so pleased.

You can have your fruit tree. You can have your vegetable tree (Some do grow on trees by the way. A google search told me so).  Now, I’ll take the money tree, but I digress.

I’ll take a cheese tree. By the way, my family is not Dutch. We don’t live in Wisconsin. We are indifferent to the Green Bay Packers

Yet, we most certainly are cheese heads.

My family LOVES cheese. Not sorta, kinda, or a little bit. The feelings they have for cheese are full and complete. It’s cheese love, but it’s certainly not cheesy.

By the way, it’s American Cheese, Miller’s American Cheese that drives my family’s fancy.

How crazy are they for Miller’s American Cheese?

SJ loves it so much that I’m convinced he would eat his own hand if it was covered in cheese.
BR loves it so much that he will eat it even if he’s not hungry and the thought of food is repulsive.
Ms. MMK loves it so much that she adds cheese to her food (sans meat and all – hey they wouldn’t be kosher) the way some people add spices.

Because of this love of cheese, we go through a lot of it! And it ain’t cheap. No, it’s not steak, caviar, or fine wine (thank G-d, got the kids off that phase quickly). But at $16 a brick (108 slices), it adds up. It also has a lot of saturated fat, cholesterol, and sodium.

No, I’m not trying to end my family’s addiction to cheese. Heaven forbid. Seriously, if forced to choose between me and their cheese… Let’s just say, I don’t want to hear the results. I do have an ego, you know.

I’m simply trying to limit their intake – somewhat. When I get home from the grocery store with a brick of cheese, I break it up into four and place it into baggies, figuring each bag will be enough for one week. One bag goes into the refrigerator, and the remaining bags go into the freezer. This way the brick will last four weeks, and my family’s cheese intake will not exceed healthy levels. At least, that’s the plan.

But it never works. One baggie gets emptied. Then, Ms. MMK rummages through the freezer and out comes another baggie full of cheese. The brick disappears in 2.5 weeks. Every time.

I’ve fought the good fight. I’ve tried to help my family eat healthy, or at least less cheese. I’m ready to admit defeat.

And that’s where the tree comes in. What if cheese grew on trees? Oh, I’d be so pleased. (Sorry, I wanted to get my Dr. Seuess on. Call me Theo.)

If cheese grew on trees,
I’d be so pleased.
I’d sit and watch the tree sway in the breeze.
I’d shoo away the bees.
I’d keep it warm from the freeze.
Oh if cheese grew on trees…
Alas, it does not seem to be.

So, it’s off to food shopping I go.

But what about bagels? What if bagels on trees? Let me tell you how my family loves bagels..

So what about you? What food is your family gaga over?

Pic is courtesy of Calorie Count

14 thoughts on “If Cheese Grew on Trees

  1. Cute! My sister asked me the other day “Did you go vegetarian or vegan? Sam wanted to know and I told her I didn’t think you could give up cheese.”
    My sister was right! I can’t give up cheese!

  2. My kids also love cheese, but not cheese alone, we are talking cooked cheese here
    macaroni and cheese
    cheese pretzel
    pizza (no sauce for the older one)

    good post, but i could lie with the money tree better

    • Glad you liked it! I’m cool with the money tree too, but I don’t have the seeds.
      Sounds like you are using cheese in tasty ways!

  3. Well, I guess at least you’re all getting your calcium and vitamin D. 🙂

    Hmm, each member of my family is gaga over something different I make. My hubs loves my spaghetti sauce; my oldest loves my simple pasta with garlic and herbs; my youngest loves my chicken cacciatore. But we all agree on pizza. Luckily, that only happens on the weekend. But I know they wouldn’t argue about having it every night…

  4. We like cheese too and carbs, too many carbs. Man, my family likes bread way too much but I am guilty of it too.

    Although cheese is definitely up there as well.

  5. Cheese is a big winner around here, too. So is peanut butter.

    And I’m on a ham kick (sorry, that’s probably not kosher…) I’ve had ham four times this week!

  6. Now you know, it’s more accurately defined as “Pasteurized processed cheese food.” But that’s OK – American cheese is good stuff. It will melt on anything.

    We consume a lot of milk – 3-4 gallons a week. Also, apples. I’ll buy two big bags of Jazz or Pink Lady apples from Sam’s Club – so, 10 pounds I think. And that will last a week. I wash them up and put them in a bowl in the fridge and my kids will eat them like they’re candy.

    • Thanks for the clarification. It changes everything. Ha ha.
      Maybe, we could share a cow. You guys take some of the milk and we take some to use for cheese.
      Good thing that apples are being eaten so easily/readily.

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