I am not a misogynist. Far from it.
In fact, I love and respect women –especially mothers.
Particularly my own mother and my wife, the mother of my children.
Yet, I hate Mother’s Day.
Yes, I do think mothers deserve a special day. Yes, I do believe that mothers are the glue to our society.
But I still hate Mother’s Day and here’s why.
I don’t know how to celebrate it. I’m not referring to my own mother. Unfortunately, I won’t be able to see her. Don’t give me any crap about it – I feel guilty as it is.
Anyway, how should Mother’s Day be celebrated in terms of wives?
Should Mother’s Day be a romantic day? After all, that’s how the children got here. So, maybe, a couple should get a babysitter and go out.
Or should Mother’s Day be about mothers having some space? You know dads taking the children out for the day so mothers can just relax and have some down time. Ironic that scenario is – I’d say. You honor your mother by staying away from her.
Or is Mother’s Day family time? The family could do something together that the mother particularly enjoys. Of course, the father has to speak 10 times to the children so that by the end of the day the mother is still happy that she is a mother.
Then you have the complications of cards, gifts, etc. By the way, is it a day for roses? The florists who jack up the prices certainly seem to think so.
Anyway, you must be able to tell from reading this that I’m confused about Mothers day. You might think I’d remember from year to year what my wife wants. If so, you’d be wrong.
Every year I ask her what she wants as the day approaches. And then at the end of the day, I ask her if she enjoyed the day. Generally, she is content, but I feel like something is missing.
Yet, I don’t know what would make Mother’s Day complete.
And that’s why I hate Mother’s Day. But still love my wife and my mother.
On that note, I wish all moms a Happy Mother’s Day. I hope your husband and children get it right this year.
A fun restaurant so I don’t have to cook and a family movie—those are the things I like on Mother’s Day. That and my husband dealing with any child issues that arrive. I can’t imagine any gift better than that last one. 🙂
I’m sure whatever you do your wife appreciates it. It’s just nice to feel special for a day.
That sounds reasonable to me. I hope your husbad comes through.
She does appreciate – I’m very lucky that she is easy going about this sort of thing.
I am not fan either. My family has gotten so big it is impossible to get everyone together and it often feels like there is always someone who isn’t happy. But we try to do something nonetheless.
Holidays can be stressful as you are trying to please and make things so right. We do the best we can.
Mother’s Day was my mom’s big day. She got breakfast in bed and of course, she looked forward to the gifts. With 5 kids at home, she really got spoiled on that day and I must say she deserved every bit of it, because we were not a quiet, dutiful bunch of kids.
But like you, I believe my father was glad when the day was over. He was more worried about mom being happy with how the day ran, than we kids were.
So, I hope the day turns out well and your wife is happy with all your preparations.
Exactly, I just my wife to enjoy the day and for it to go well. She deserves it!
You should make a weekend of it, a day to herself on Friday, romance on Saturday, and family on Sunday. Well, now that I think about that you might reverse the order, but I agree how to celebrate Mother’s Day.
That’s a decent – though encompassing – idea. Maybe, we can do that next year.
I cannot wait to read about Mother’s day next year….;)
I have the same issues with Father’s Day! I just send Eric to a car show with all the men from his family, but I’m never sure if that’s good enough or not.
I do know he doesn’t want roses.
But maybe the romance…
Hey Larry: For years I was not a big fan of mothers day. We had to please 3 generations of mothers on two sides of the family and things were often a bit complicated. I have mellowed out some, and we have finally established some traditions, so it works a lot better now. Here is my advice for a stress free plan:
1) buy mother’s day cards early. They run $1 at the dollar store, but I have spent $8 on one at a drug store. It depends on my mood. If you have to buy several it can get expensive. Look for coupons! Know your people. My mom likes mushy; I like sweet or funny…. generally if you write something nice and thoughtful inside it does the trick!! If your kids make a card that usually goes over well.
2) think of a gift for your wife or mother that you can make into a tradition year after year. this way they expect it and you know what you need to do – my husband plants a garden for me and it makes me really happy. We buy my mom a hanging plant and it makes her very happy. It is also really nice to get a gift card to spend as you like at your favorite clothing store or amazon!
3) If you can do things “together” with extended family, do so, but not at the expense of ruining your wife’s day. Be sure to have a special plan just for her, such as make her bfast or take her to a movie, or give her a certificate to get her nails done or help her do stuff in the house, etc. Take a walk or hike or just snuggle and watch TV. She will be happy if one thing is about her and the rest is about the other mothers.
4) Bottom line, just show love and appreciation. In the end, it is not really a big deal, it is a Hallmark Holiday!!
Wow, that’s alot of instructions. Can you simply and resend next year at the end of April. I think you could make some money if you sold this to fathers/significant others.
Wow, you are giving this a lot of thought. You ask her what she wants and what she wants to do – and then you do it – sounds to me like it is all working out and you are doing the right thing! 🙂
Making it too complex – hmm, you may be right. Sometimes it is nice to just to have something done for you.
I understand that confusion! As a single mother I’d like part of the day to be about family and part of the day to be about peace and quiet for me. I want the best of both worlds I guess.
In a side note, Mother’s Day events were canceled at at least one local church this year because someone in the congregation found it “offensive”. If that continues maybe all men will be off the hook in a few years.
Offensive – what excactly is offensive? Come on now.
Nothing wrong with wanting the best of both worlds – well, that is unless you have to provide it and it is not so easy to make it happen.
I’m not sure what the individual felt was offensive, the article didn’t go into detail. I guess people will complain about anything because they can.
Sad but true.
That is sad, I am curious of the reason they felt Mother’s Day was offensive, we all have a mother even bad ones did give us life.
I hate Mother’s Day. I find it incredibly awkward. I believe most women want to feel a bit pampered for the day, just a little. But how does one express that? “you better cherish me today”? My own Mother’s Day is typically over by lunch time.
Not to mention, my own mother sometimes acts disappointed in me on Mother’s Day. I think she resents the fact that she shares Mother’s Day lunch with my MIL.
So I’m with you, Larry. The best part of Mother’s Day for me is when it’s over!