I hate ketchup.Disgusted, sickened. Yes these two words accurately describe how I feel about the red stuff.
Strong feelings, I know.
Yet, it is 100% true.
Let me give you some examples of how much I hate ketchup.
I always maneuver the food in the refrigerator so that the foods that I eat regularly are not touching the ketchup bottle. Don’t poison my beloved peanut butter.
I can’t eat near people who have ketchup on their food. The smell annoys and distracts me from my meal.
I mutter when it appears on the shopping list. Why waste my hard earned money on such a nasty product?
By the way, don’t try and analyze this hatred.
Yes, I like tomatoes. Yes, I like pasta sauce. Yes, I know this makes no sense.
What has caused this intense and weird (yes, I can readily admit it’s weird) hatred of ketchup?
Well, for starters I never liked it.
I didn’t want it on my fries, hamburgers, or eggs. No thanks – I’ll take ‘em straight up. I’m a real man.
A real man who is afraid of ketchup. Sorta, kinda. I’m getting over it. I can actually give my children ketchup (if they request it – I ain’t offering it) wash my children’s dishes if they have ketchup on it. Hey, a journey of thousand miles begins with a single step as Lao-tzu said.
Now, the story of how I came to hate ketchup as best as I can remember it.
I was in my freshman year of high school. My friends and I used to sit at the table that was closest to the doors where one entered. My back was to the door and I could see the rest of the students enjoying their 24 minutes (or some ridiculously small time) in the cafeteria.
My good friend at the time was sitting across from me was a prankster. I was the straight man and often the butt of the jokes.
Anyway, he started pointed behind me and said, “watch out.” I didn’t take his warning seriously and he repeated himself. Again, I did not take him seriously. He repeated himself again. Finally, I turned around and there was this girl coming at me. Unfortunately, she was mentally challenged and for some reason it looked like she was drawn to me or our table.
When I turned around, she was just a couple of feet away from me with her hands outstretched. Fortunately, her aide was able to assist her and lead the girl to where she needed to go. However, it was not before I jumped scared out of my mind.
Somehow I landed in ketchup (I don’t remember if she had or if someone at my table had it) which added to my embarrassment.
This completely embarrassing incident at a vulnerable age along with the fact that I already did not like ketchup made me have a passionate dislike for the red stuff. Since then, my disgust has only grown.
Ludicrous I know. However, at this point and maybe for the past 25 plus years, hatred for ketchup is in my head.
So, do keep the red stuff away from me. Please.
What about you – any foods that you hate?