That’s not really true – the title that is. I am a morning shower person. Anyway, you know how you used to watch those television shows like Happy Days and other comedies of that era? When a woman didn’t want to accept a date request, she would say I have to wash my hair. Now, of course, the guy did not buy that excuse. It’s just too lame. However, he would accept it at least publicly because it was a way to escape the embarrassing no to his date request. “Hey she’s busy,” he could tell his friends, “she has plans tonight.”
This is the third week of the new school year. We have already had some days off for holidays with more coming. Despite that, I feel as though I have so much to do. Rushing, rushing, rushing.
One of my goals this school year is to minimize stress. Actually, it’s a goal I set every year which seems to fade ever slowly away till it’s time to do grading for the first marking period. At that point, it just completely disintegrates. I end up feeling anxious and fighting the feeling that I am not getting enough accomplished.
Last year, however, was a bit different. I wasn’t as hard on myself. I followed through on some of my promises to myself. I actually got to get bed earlier one night a week, assisted the students as best as I could and did not take their failings as my own. I even did some things for myself (one of those was to start a blog – you may have heard of it – it’s called memyselfandkids) You know what? It felt good!
This year, I am ready to take it to another level. I have a number of things that I want to accomplish outside of school. Therefore, I have to be even wiser and more efficient when it comes to budgeting my time. This goal has been in the back of my mind all summer. I know I can, I know I can. I psyched myself up.
You’re waiting for the but right? Well, here it comes. Sort of.
I have had to go out nearly every night since school started. Whether it was a back to school night, religious commitment, a concert (saw Bruce Springsteen and the E. Street Band last night), I have had regular plans every night. You know what I need? I need a bunch of nights in a row where when you get home, you can latch the door because you know you are not leaving till the next morning. You know the type of night I mean? Now, of course, there are still familial responsibilities, but that’s different. That’s an everyday responsibility, and one I enjoy (usually).
So, I am thinking about using that line. The next person who tries to make a plan will hear, “I need to wash my hair.” Who knows what they will think? I just know that I need the space and time.
I briefly saw Kate White, the former editor of Cosmopolitan Magazine, being interviewed on TV this morning. She was giving on-the-job advice and talked about how it’s important to spend some time each week thinking about the big picture rather than just being focused on daily tasks. Looks like you’re headed in that direction.
I sincerely hope I am. I have just been in one of those periods where I am bouncing from one thing to the next. It’s tough. I am guessing you know what I mean.
You sound so much like most young people I know. I used to be that way too, when my boys were young and into things like soccer and Boy Scouts, and Church things too. I can say NO in several different languages, but it takes a lot of practice to do it regularly. I used to be a people pleaser, and I never had a lot of self confidence so I worked hard all the time to make sure I got everything perfect.
I don’t regret those years, because I had a great time with my boys. I was a work from home mother, so I was always there for my kids. Eventually, I realized that more and more of my time was spent doing stuff for other people. The first time I said no to something, I actually felt faint. But you know what, they got someone else, and they didn’t need me at all.
I don’t give excuses any longer. I just tell them, “No, I am not interested.” Or, if I like the person, “Thanks you for thinking of me, but I am going to pass on that opportunity.” Both work great and I don’t have to come up with a lame excuse. “I don’t want to sounds childish,” but that is generally the truth.
I hear you. However, the things I am saying yes to are primarily for me. It’s not as if I don’t want to do these things (well, maybe true on some level) but still could use a break.
Thanks for the comments.
Good for you! It is important to put yourself and your family first. Nights at home where there are no plans are where some of the best moments of life are found.
What you describe sounds nice. Ahhh.
Good for you! Take the time for yourself. Happy accomplishing. 🙂 I’m sure Springsteen was awesome though!
Thanks. I’ve definitely enjoyed some of the things I have been doing but still need to find a way to cut back.
Go for it! You need quiet evenings to be able to fully enjoy the busy ones. But I think you need a more original excuse, surely you can come up with something more creative than washing you hair 🙂
Funny. Good point. However, it worked for the blog. The things we do for creativity.
This was a quite excellent article you posted here. I’m running throught the same stress filled out days. I really do think I need to wash my hair more often. *grin*
You’re right. Put your family and yourself first! It’s important to take some time-out! Enjoy your hair wash – and make sure the curlers aren’t getting too hot… *chuckle*
Glad you enjoyed the post. Hope you can make time for yourself soon as well.
With my hair line, I can be done washing my hair in 1 minute. Sigh.
Your response comment made me laugh, Larry. WordPress needs a like button!
I try to laugh at the hair line thing. Though I perk up any time a commercial comes on for ‘the cure to balding.’
I have that same problem too with my son’s football practices, writing class one night, working late when my son is at his dad’s house. My friends have stopped calling me to go out for happy hour – guess they were tired of me telling them I have to wash my hair 🙂
I wonder why we are all so busy these days. We just keep trying to pack so much in.
I’m terrible about this … I keep adding more things to my plate and then find myself just wiped out at the end of the day.
We’re are all nuts.
I wonder why we are all so busy these days. We just keep trying to pack so much in.
I hear ya! Good for you for kicking it up a notch. I find that, most of the time, the “busy” that we live is created by our inability to say “no”. I’m practicing that here lately. And it is resulting in more time for me and my pursuits and less time spent worrying about everyone else.
I feel the things I have been doing are truly important. It is a particularly busy time of year. None, the less the power of no is something to keep in mind.
Being busy all the time definitely has its drawbacks. I often wonder why, as a society, we always have to be busy and have every minute crammed with some sort of activity.
Love the title of your post by the way 🙂
Thanks for the compliment.
I have the same thought and have considered it many times before. It may be worth a seperate posting itself.
I like that phrase…Can I borrow and use that too??? Hehehehehe….
Go for it. Let me know if they buy it.
I hear you and support you in carving out time for yourself to pursue your big picture ideas. I know it’s important for me to do the same – makes me a happier wife, mom, friend, etc. I love the feeling of closing the door and knowing I’m in for the night – bliss! We had one of those nights tonight in fact! Hope you get some space for you soon!
It’s as good a line as any!
An oldie but a goodie.
I hope you do it! I would love to hear about the reaction. 🙂
Please do yourself a favour and take that time. It is not only that you feel you need it, but your soul is crying out for it. Sometimes we think we don’t deserve to have time for ourselves, and it causes problems within us that could lead to some serious health problems. For example, I know I need vacation, if I don’t have it I will probably flip out, so I am off to Italy, the middle of October for a week. Yesterday, I decided to do nothing, not even go on the internet. I sat in my bed and read. I got up to eat and then I got back in bed and read. Then I took a nap and got up and ate and then got back in my bed and slept. I woke up this morning feeling like a new person. I have made an appointment in my calendar, now, for a day for me. When that day comes, I will take it. Of course some things might come in between that I cannot avoid, but they will not come every week. I am learning there are times when one has to say yes to self and no to others.
I enjoyed your article this morning because it touched on exactly what I have been experiencing.
I definitely try to take time and do when I can. It has been a really busy time. It will slow down – at least a little. I think of taking time in minutes and hours. Commutes to work can be relaxing though there is nothing like being in a quiet house. That so rarely happens. Oh well.
Enjoy your vacation.
I was thinking of using that comment myself as I was reading your post.
Go for it and let me know how it goes!
I always consider a night at home as relaxing as a vacation…maybe more so…you don’t have to unpack and do laundry!
It definitely has many postives and it fits into the budget. Big plus!!
So true that it’s hard sometimes to be tough with oneself so life feels fun but balanced. I too could do with making myself go to bed early one night a week – since I stopped working I find myself creeping later and later as I’m enjoying my evenings with blogs / twitter or indeed doing any of the many ‘jobs’ I have on my never-shorter list. It amazes me really that each week I cross a load off the list, and then recreate a new one just as long as the last. where do they all come from? more to the point – which should I just give myself a break on and not do so I have time for the things I moan about not doing? Having said that – now I find there are things on the list I would never have had time for before, so mostly it’s about remembering these jobs are ones I wanted to do while keeping the urgency / importance in proportion so they don’t become massive deals…
I like and think the to-do list is good. We are supposed to be productive. However, like you I sometimes turn want tos into have tos and then feel bad when I don’t accomplish.
Thanks for reading and commenting. Now, go to bed – you don’t need another late night.