I am especially efficient in the morning. In the hope of making my morning preparation as easy and thoughtless as possible, I lay out my clothes the night before, make my lunch and place each item on the same shelf in the refrigerator, place my toiletries on the sink, take my ticket out of my wallet and leave all my essentials – phone, wallet, keys, and watch – in a pile on the table. Do you remember how in certain Three Stooges episodes the guys would wake up and get out of bed all dressed in their suits – well, I’ve considered trying that. Anyway, I feel proud of my morning routine – up at 5:31 and out the door at 6:09. It is not give or take a few minutes. However, there is a big variable in completing the morning rituals.
I lied there are two big variables – Thing 1 (BR) and Thing 2 (SY). At that point of the day (and many others actually), all the children want to do is go and watch television. They don’t seem especially interested in eating at that hour, content to wait for my wife who sees them off in the morning. So other than their standard stomping around the house and smashing open of doors, my calm and gentle boys don’t make much impact.
Yet, they do. Let me backtrack. I am not a morning talker – never have been. By the time I was in high school, I was pretty much on my own in the morning. My mother would be on her way to work by the time I awoke, my father would still be sleeping, my two oldest brothers were already out of the house, and my next older brother would be burrowed in his room – only to emerge when it was time to walk to school. I was effectively alone in the mornings and quite fine with it.
Fast forward to today. I am used to being alone in the mornings. I like the quiet of the house. I like the space that this time of the day affords me. So, despite the fact that the children are self-sufficient for the most part at that hour, the serenity I feel is upended. Do I have time to get them breakfast, did they flush the toilet, did they wake my wife, do I have to talk to them (perish the thought)? Yeah, I love my children, but in the morning, I want to hear the house hum and proceed in my efficient way. See you later kids.