A Dream to Persue?

Do you ever have a dream that feels so vivid but you can’t remember it the second you are awake? They are like a firework. They make a big splash but quickly fade to nothing.

Then, there are those dreams that seem to go on for a long time. It’s like I dreamed a miniseries. There are different acts and scenes. I wake up remembering pieces of the epic and convinced that the dream and its contents will stay with me throughout the day and beyond. However, once I turn my attention to something else – even as mundane as taking a shower – my memory abandons me. Usually, by the end of the day I am left with scraps – if I am lucky.

Lastly, there is the third type of dream whose vividness varies. However, what does not vary is my memory for the contents. The memory stays with me, through the day, week, month, etc.

And I wonder why? Why do some dreams remain in my mind and others fade into oblivion? I am not looking for a scientific analysis though I am sure there are doctors or psychologists who could propose a perfectly reasonable thought.  However, I am not looking for the kind of answer that a doctor/psychologist would propose. I am thinking more about symbolism.

You have those dreams that are shall we say pipe dreams (by the way, I am nearly certain the term comes from The Iceman Cometh). Example: I am going to play in the NBA. So what that I did not make the high school team, I am 5’10’’, slow, and can’t jump. These are dreams that need to be in the rear view mirror.

There are some dreams that have a chance to come true but maybe, you lose interest in them as you grow up. Example: I am going to be a talk show host. As I get older, I realize that I don’t get along with all types of people. So, while there are elements I find appealing and will always, I decide to go in another direction.

Finally, there are those dreams that you are really passionate about. There will be bumps in the road but nothing can throw you off the track. Example: I want to be pediatrician. I am challenged by biology, loans are outrageous, internship is beyond exhausting. However, I will not back down. This is my dream, and I will make it happen. This is my direction.

As I ponder the different dreams, I think back on the dreams that I have had and what category they fit in. Truthfully, there have been very very few dreams for me that have fit into the third category. I feel proud of my flexibility and my rational and reasonable approach. However, I feel frustrated that my level of achievement is not up to my capabilities. I feel that my potential is for something greater. I think super achievers have an ability to put their head down and relentlessly pursue their dream. As I get older, a question I need to answer is what I am willing to do in order to achieve my dreams.

19 thoughts on “A Dream to Persue?

  1. I have big dreams that I often talk myself into and then out of again. Usually when I talk myself out of it, it’s due to a lack of confidence in my own abilities. I always dreamed of being a mom and a wife (check), but I’m always trying to be a “better” mom and a “better” wife. I dreamed of being a marine biologist, but I decided that swimming with wild dolphins in the ocean was good enough. (an awesome experience… Kind of scary too. Those things are BIG!) I have also always dreamed of being a writer. This is the one, like you being a pediatrician, that I won’t let go of, but I go back and forth on whether or not I’m good enough to be a published writer. Blogging I figure is a good start. At least a few strangers are reading and enjoying it. Keep pushing forward! 🙂

  2. I really enjoyed this post and often find myself wondering the same question – what am I willing to do to achieve my dreams? Not an easy question to answer day to day. Sometimes my dreams seem impossible, other times I can put the outcome out of my mind and focus on the next best step. I’m hoping for more of that!

  3. I completely feel you! I mean, I feel the exact same way! I wish I could take a risk and leave my current job to pursue something I really am passionate about. But, because I have responsibilities (a child) I just can’t up and leave. A price I’m willing to pay I guess to make sure my daughter gets what she needs. But I look fwd to what the future has in store for me.

    • It’s not easy to take that leap. Yet, like you, when I think/talk about some changes I would like to make, I say my kids like to eat. That is my priority. We’re parents and that’s our number one job.
      Thanks for the comment.

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