The first couple of years or BC – before children – my wife and I never talked about date night. There was no need. We just went out when we wanted to. Staying in was not a terrible option either, wink, wink. Anyway for the first years AC, or after children, we talked about the need for having a date night.
Well, we finally committed to it a few years back. We go out once a month. One month my wife handles the arrangements and the next month, it’s my turn. Now, I think that sounds fair, reasonable, equitable. Except it does not work that way. I am the one who ends up pushing to go out and making the plans.
Checking out a retro jazz band, wandering a museum featuring an exhibition of our favorite artist, eating at this new restaurant that got written up with a great review in the paper. Alex, “that would have to be what are dates we never go on?”
I can plan a great date. I have planned plenty for us – if I do say so myself. These days I am not the greatest at planning dates. No, I am not being hard on myself. Half the time, we end up at the Starbucks in Barnes and Noble. We sit in the comfy chairs while sipping our caffeinated beverages and talking about the children. About a mile away from romantic – ehh? It’s actually pleasant and easy if a little staid.
In reality, my wife and I enjoy a fun date as much as the next couple. Two issues often come up which tend to make this not occur: Time and Money. Are you familiar with them?
Anyway, our most recent date ended at Haagen-Dazs. You might be thinking to yourself that doesn’t sound so bad. And I would agree. Yet, there’s more.
The date had begun 45 minutes earlier in Shop Rite. No, this is not another one of MMK’s food shopping stories. Just being practical – we were out of milk and cheese and so food shopping we went. It was actually quite special. We laughed, we cried, we bonded as we made it to the refrigerated section. Our relationship was at a new level by the time we went through the 10 items or less express lane.
From food shopping, we went to AC Moore. I have never been to AC Moore before. I never want to go back to AC Moore. It’s not personal. Anyway, we were wandering around looking for a picture frame. Yup, it was truly fun. I just wish they sold rings so we could have renewed our wedding vowels by the matting section. How special that would have been.
At that point in the evening, well late afternoon might be more accurate, we had twenty minutes left till we had to be home. It was then that my wife brought up the ice cream idea. I looked at my wallet and saw I had just $8. When the cashier at Haagen-Dazs said, “That’ll be 6.37,” I smiled and happily handed over the money before joining my wife who had already begun munching on her ice cream cone.
Yes, all’s well that ends well. But, I think I need to make a plan next time. Suggestions?
Sounds like fun. Tomorrow I will have to take a look at my Pinterest board, I have several date night and cheap date night lists on there! Cause you know I love to share my thoughts, suggestions and opinions!
Fun – somewhat. After all, who doesn’t love ice cream.
I would be happy to hear some of those thoughts. Thanks.
Date nights are SO important! Good for you and your wife for keeping a commitment to them. I would just recommend you keep a little extra cash tucked away so that a Haagen-Daz is always a possibility!
Yes, I hear you. Honestly, I did not realize when we left that we would end up going shopping and I thought I had another $20. But anyway, cash tucked away for an ice cream run is always good.
My husband and I went grocery shopping on our last date and ended the evening at Starbucks….pretty sure I don’t have any ideas for you!!!
Oh man you too! We must really get out! Well, at least it’s together.
What a cute date. Even though it wasn’t a planned one, it still shows me from the way you write, how close you both are!
It’s very nice of you to have bought rings, (if they only had had them)… I have to admit: you’re lucky! Apparently your wife is happy with ice cream instead.
In the end, it wasn’t anything crazy. But we did get out and spend time together. That part was cool. However, I think both my wife and I realize we need to do a little more though.
Oh Larry, I can relate to almost everything you mention above. Especially the doing nothing really special and yet still talking about our children (when the sole purpose of the doing something alone is that we ARE CHILDREN LESS).
I have come to the conclusion that you don’t really need to do the super extra special kinda thing, just being with each other should be enough, right? RIGHT?
Yes, it should be and it generally is, but still sometimes you need to do a little more – put in that effort. It’s worth it.
I have to push my husband to go out, or we would never go anywhere. I can count on one hand how many outings we went on last year. Make that three fingers. It’s just SO much work to get out of the house! And then when we go out we can’t think of anything to talk about except for the kids.
Not living in your area, I’m not sure what to suggest, but you sound like you plan good dates.
Wow, you are kind if you think that is a good date.
I am sorry to hear you guys don’t get out much. It’s not the work that keeps us in. Time/money/babysitiing are bigger issues. However, we do get out which is the key.
I feel your pain! We just went out recently and we went…I can’t remember. There must have been food involved. Probably some wine and some wink-winking.
It must have been romantic, right?
Very romantic and memorable.
No date involving ice cream could ever go wrong, in my opinion.
Ahh, that’s the spirit. Nice.
Ice skating? Tobogganing? Bike ride? One of my favs is going for a drive with no destination. The passenger navigates only by advising which way to go – “straight, right, left” – until you end up somewhere interesting. Take a GPS for the way home though 😉
Your first two make you sound very Canadian – winter activities. Anyway, I would like to go ice skating but my wife was not into it. I once threatened that I would simply take another woman. She did not seem to concerned. Hmmmph.
Going for the sake of going can be fun.
Spending time together is the most important thing, but you could always try something more oldfashioned like going to the movies. If you want to keep it cheap bring your own drinks and popcorn, that’s what I do 🙂
I am a big movie fan and we do get to the movies. Time and finding a good movie are the obstacles. I am looking forward to seeing some movies this summer.
Try Whole Foods next time — class it up a little! My husband and I have been known to wander Whole Foods engaging in games like, “What the hell is this?” “Who needs to purchase this amount of flax seed?” And, the ever popular, “How many Birkenstock’s did you count?” It’s fun. It’s free. It’s a laugh a minute!
Whole Foods – woah – aren’t you two high class? You could offer me a million dollars, and I still could not tell you what you use flax seed for.
so lovely Larry the way you both spend time together; it’s important! 🙂 we spend a lot of time together but no date nights yet! hope very soon, sorry won’t be able to give you new date night ideas for you and your wife! 🙂
I don’t know if this is lovely but it is nice to get out. Besides, a night with ice cream is always a good night.
Sounds like a lovely date to me! My husband and I often have the most fun at the grocery store or other stores cause we so rarely do those regular errands together anymore. I love that you plan your dates. Will you call my husband and make some suggestions? Thank you.
Thanks so much.
To be honest, after I wrote it, I actually thought of you and that you would be able to relate to it. I have seen a similar strand of thinking in some of your posts.
Sure, send me his number. But really, that is something you want him to emulate? Come on now.
I actually prefer to do the errands alone – generally. It’s faster. I want dates to be us doing something fun together.
When there’s ice cream involved there’s no plan necessary. Besides, who doesn’t like a good relaxing night at Barnes and Noble anyhow? I love to sit down, drink some coffee and browse the books, all the while treating their store like a library. I figure since I buy coffee from the cafe they’re at least getting something out of me 🙂
Although I can’t remember the last time I was able to do the B&N thing and just relax…
Yes, ice cream is definitely a good start.
It’s better than a library in many ways. The chairs are excellent and you can talk and not feel guilty.