SJ and BR both had speech delays. Now, they talk constantly. In fact, I recently threatened to throw SJ out of the house and drop him off at his first speech therapist who lives around the block from us.
BR had little to no interest in sports and subsequently was left out from many activities that his peers were involved in. My wife and I bought him a book about baseball last winter. Now, he is obsessed with everything baseball – statistics, playing, movies, etc.
SJ hated amusement rides. Three years ago he cried on the merry-go-round with my wife on one side and me on the other. This summer he went on every thrill ride that he was tall enough for.
The point? Things change. This is especially true when it comes to children.
No big news there. We all know that. Yet my wife and I worry and obsess over issues related to our kids. Know many other parents who do the same? Thought so.
You could say it’s natural to worry about your children. You could say it’s part of loving. Often love leaves a person acting irrationally. And whom do we love more than our children? So, it makes sense that we should act most irrationally in regards to our children.
But is it healthy to worry? Does it help?
I’ve heard many people say that young children, even babies, sense their parents’ emotions and mimic them. One of those people is my wife who has told me this many times.
My blogger friend Mary at A Teachable Mom told me that when she and her husband are not “connecting and communicating or avoiding our anger, our kids fight with each other more. It’s as if they are acting out our anger for us.” On the flipside, when she and her husband “are connected, even if it is through fighting or bickering, our girls get along really well.”
So, our children can take on our emotions and our behaviors. Therefore, it makes sense to strive to be happy, reasonable, and calm. We should recognize that the great majority of situations will always work out in some decent way.
This all sounds good. Doesn’t it?
Yet it’s not so easy in theory.
BR is entering a new school this year. Last year was a mess. The stress level for him and us was high. We needed to make a change. My wife and I have done a number of things to try and ensure a good school year both academically and socially. Yet, we are very concerned about the change.
We want BR to see us as positive, excited, and optimistic about this new school. And we are. However, we are also nervous.
To come back to the examples noted above about talking, baseball, and amusement rides, the newness of the school will also pass. There will be ups and downs. But ultimately, he will find his way. He will meet some kids – some he will like and others he won’t bother with. He will enjoy and learn from some teachers/subjects and others he won’t.
Either way, time moves on. Things change. And worrying does not help. So, lets’ try and stop worrying so much. It doesn’t do anyone, particularly our children, any good. Chalk this up as yet another lesson that I need to learn over and over again.