I’m not a prude or a germaphobe.
Okay, I wash my hands often. So what. Something wrong with clean hands?
And yes I like the house to be clean. Spotless would be nice. But I have two children whom I have grown to like. I’ve chosen them over cleanliness.
Let me rewind. The plan was to visit my mom and spend the Sabbath with her. We would leave Sunday morning sans BR our 9-year-old, who is staying with my mom for a few days.
Sunday morning came, and we were ready to leave. However, SJ our 6.5-year-old had other plans. He insisted we stay and go into the pool at my mom’s condominium.
Okay, okay. Fine. One problem. I didn’t bring a bathing suit. “We can buy you a bathing suit,” said Ms. MMK. I grimaced. Please no. Don’t make me go shopping now. “Didn’t you say you need a new bathing suit?”
I sighed. I was ready to argue.
“Come on. We can go to Target. I want to get some Advil. I have a headache. I don’t feel good,” said Ms. MMK.
Crap. I couldn’t argue with that. So, off to Target we went.
SHOPPING FOR BATHING SUITS
We got to the store and found the men’s swimwear section. SIDE NOTE: My wife seemed just fine in the store. Shopping seemed to temporarily remove her pain.
Anyway, I quickly picked two bathing suits off the rack that I liked. Hi ho, hi ho. Off to the fitting room I go. Try on, pick one, pay, and go. Keep it moving.
I found the fitting room. Once there, I quickly took off my shoes, socks, and pants. Then, I paused looking at myself while standing in my underwear. I stared at the two bathing suits hanging on hangers right in front of me.
SHOULD I OR SHOULDN’T I
Dilemma. I could try the bathing suits on while wearing my underwear. Would this give me a true sense of how they fit? After all, who the heck wears their underwear under a bathing suit?
So, what’s the problem, you may be wondering. If I tried on the bathing suit sans underwear, it would be right on my body.
I wasn’t worried about my body. What about the other men who tried on on these bathing suits? Were they diseased? Moist? Ooh!
After a moment of deliberations and a quick inspection of the bathing suites, I decided to take off my underwear. See, I told you I wasn’t a prude. Anyway I tried on those bathing suits as fast as possible. I almost fell as I yanked off the second bathing suit.
When, I walked out of the fitting room, my wife asked, “So, are you going to take one?”
“Yeah I’ll take this one (showing her the bathing suit I selected). I’m not trying on another one.”
Next time – I’m shopping online!
P.S. Am I the only one who thinks like this?
My wife and I made it out to the movies. Thanks for babysitting mom.
Anyway, you need to go see “The Way Way Back.” It was the best movie I have seen in a while. The dialogue was snappy and believable, the acting was great, and the story was absorbing.