Three Ways I Cheat on My Children’s Homework

Boys experiencing homework frustrationMaybe you thought you were done with homework when you graduated high school. Maybe you thought you were done with homework when you graduated college. Maybe you thought you were done with homework when you completed your Master’s degree.

But here’s the truth.

If you have children, you are NEVER done with homework. It’s always there.

To put my teacher hat back on, I see the value of homework. I really do. Homework can be a useful tool for an educator. Homework is a way to recognize if a student has actually grasped the information. It also allows the teacher to know if anything has to be retaught.

Makes sense, right?

However as a parent, I don’t like homework. Now, that’s not to say I don’t want my children to have homework. If there’s a true educational purpose for the homework, I am all for it.

Yet, homework can be a pain in the neck. When my boys get home from school, homework is the last thing they want to do. Seriously, I think they would agree to eat brussel sprouts (tough rap those brussel sprouts always get), clean their rooms, and have needles stuck in their arms quicker than they would agree to do homework.

Well, they have no choice.  They need to get their homework done.

Inevitably, bumps arise while the boys are doing their homework. I try to assist and encourage them to soldier on. Sometimes, it works, and sometimes, it doesn’t.  Frustration mounts. Tears are shed. Curses are spewed. And my children are upset too.

It’s around this time when I cheat on my children’s homework. You heard me: I Cheat on My Children’s Homework. And so does Ms. MMKK. Don’t judge us – I bet you’ve done it too.

Want to know how? Continue reading

Vulnerability: A Lesson Learned From Sickness

Sickness causes vulnerability

Sickness left me feeling vulnerable.

Vulnerable.

It was my first day back to work after being home sick for two days.

Being home sick is unfamiliar territory for me. The last time I can recall needing two days off for sickness was in the 4th or 5th grade when I had the flu.

On Thursday night my fever was gone and my stomach, while quaking, had not erupted for a few hours. Therefore, I prepared my lessons with the expectation that I would go to work the next day.

Friday morning came. I left my house, a bit unsteadily, and hoped for the best.

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Should A Parent Play A Role In The Educational Process?

High School Classroom

High School Classroom
(Not Mine)

An article recently came out in The Atlantic by Dana Goldstein. The article is entitled: Don’t Help Your Kids With Their Homework.

The article references a study by Keith Robinson, a sociology professor at the University of Texas at Austin, and Angel L. Harris, a sociology professor at Duke. The study was the largest-ever study of how parental involvement affects academic achievement.

According to The Atlantic article, the study found that “most measurable forms of parental involvement seem to yield few academic dividends for kids, or even to backfire—regardless of a parent’s race, class, or level of education.”

With all due respect, I find these results hard to believe. Let me remind you of my background.

I am a high school English teacher in an inner city public school. Between my five classes (3 senior and 2 sophomore), I have 140 students (3 classes have 34 students). There are approximately 10-15 students who never show up to class. I’ve called their houses but never heard back.

Here is my first hand evidence to counter the article and referenced study in The Atlantic.

Parent-teacher conferences recently concluded. Less than 20% of parents showed up. Those numbers are not atypical. A number of my colleagues who I spoke to reported the same attendance rate.

I have been in the school 11 years.  The attendance rate at parent teacher conference has fallen from approximately 65% to the now less than 20%. It has been steadily declining.

And so has the school.

The typical student is less able and motivated than in the past. I’d like to add that the percentage of students who passed has fallen as well. Again, I don’t think all of this is a coincidence.

The media and politicians seem to enjoy bashing teachers these days. All the nation’s problems are because of poor teachers. If we had good teachers, all would be in the good world.

I am biased and have a limited perspective. I’ll admit it. So, read on with a grain of salt.

The mass majority of teachers I have worked with and met are caring individuals. They want to help their students grow, learn, and succeed and are willing to work hard to make it happen.

I have also come across ineffective teachers. And lazy teachers. And teachers who are burnt out and counting down the days till retirement.

Tell me what profession are you in? Does everyone in the profession meet the highest standards of the calling? Didn’t think so.

Of course, teachers are a huge factor in the education process, but they are NOT the only element. Most obviously, the student him or herself matters. There is the administration. There are the therapists, guidance counselors, etc. And then there are the parents.

I’m not blaming the parents, or denying that there are multiple reasons why their involvement has declined. However, I very much believe that their involvement in the educational process would help.

Now, the influence of parents does not have to come via parent teacher conference. Many times the teacher will not be able to see the influence of the parents. However, they often see the result.

Did you ever see the movie Waiting for Superman? The movie Waiting for Superman follows a few students as they strive to get into Charter Schools. I’ll never forget the scenes where parents whoop it up as if they won the lottery when they recognize their child got in to the public side. On the flip side, those whose children did not get in are so clearly dejected. It’s as if they have been told they have months to live.

It’s not a coincidence that Charter Schools, as a whole, have students who achieve higher results than those kids in public schools.

Again, I know there are other factors that one would be naive to ignore. However, the naivety would be just as great if one ignored the influence of the parent(s).

Therefore, I say sorry to The Atlantic, but I can’t agree with The Robinson and Harris study. Parents matter in the educational process.

Pic is courtesy of Photopin

What a Difference a Year Makes!

1st day of school

1st day of school – Kindergarten

Last year sucked.

For BR. For Ms. MMK. For me.

But I learned a lesson.

A good teacher makes all the difference.

Here I am a veteran teacher, and it took BR having a horrendous school year for me to learn the value of a teacher.

Ironic.

The problems went beyond the teacher. The administration, for the most part, was of little support or assistance.

Sending BR to school left Ms. MMK and I uncomfortable. He was not being treated right. I don’t mean physically.

His confidence was shaken, his reputation was damaged, and his progress was stunted.

Now BR would not recognize most of this or not at any meaningful level.  However, we saw this happening and did everything possible to work with the school to prevent it. But got nowhere.

And then the school year ended.

And a new one began.

It was a new year in many ways. Of course, it was a new grade (4th), but it was also a new school in a new school district.

We prepared BR in the best way we could. And we had outside assistance.

And we prayed.

We prayed that he would get back on track. We prayed that the teachers would be caring. We prayed that the administration would be supportive. We prayed that our bright, inquisitive, and playful child would once again flourish at school.

Wednesday was parent teacher conferences. Ms. MMK had the day noted on the calendar for months. She had met with the teachers and other school personnel on a couple of occasions, but this would be the first in-depth meeting in a couple of months.

We were anxious but hopeful. After all, we had not gotten the dreaded calls home. Plus, BR seemed different – happier, calmer, and content to go to school.

I joined the conference at 2:15 (I had to call in from work) – just a few minutes after it began. While I would have preferred to have been there, the message came through loud and clear.

BR was doing fantastic. He had bumps in the beginning, and he is not perfect now.  I wouldn’t believe it if they had said he was.

They noted that BR has fallen in line. He assists other students. He is doing well socially. He is comfortable sharing. He is learning.

One teacher after another showered him with praises.

While Ms. MMK and I were in separate locations, we felt the exact same way

Ms. MMK thanked the teachers multiple times. She said, “this is the best parent teacher conference I’ve ever been to.”  She was on the verge of tears – of happiness.

I was in an empty classroom and smiling widely. All I wanted to do was hug BR.

We know that BR has challenges and is not an easy child. We know he needs particular kind of teachers.

Now, we know that he can be a great student. More importantly, he knows that too.

Thank you to his teachers and all those who assist and work in conjunction with them.

What a difference a year makes!!!