The first thing I look at when I consider if I am going to watch a movie is the running time. When I pick up a book, I always note how many pages it is. When someone asks for a favor, my first thought before responding is how long will it take. I guess you could say I have commitment issues.
Later this week, my wife and I will mark our 10th wedding anniversary (those interested may send gifts to Larry Bernstein care of WordPress.com). You ever hear people say things like: every day has been wonderful or it seems just like yesterday, etc.? Well, you haven’t heard it from me! Our marriage has had its challenges. We’ve been through family passings, job losses, and financial stresses. We’ve argued over big things and small things. We’ve gone to bed angry. I am not writing this to complain about my wife (she reads this) or our marriage. We have had plenty of good times as well, reasons to smile, and moments to remember. In other words, we have lived a life together.
We met through mutual friends. They figured two writers who like to travel – let’s give it a shot. It wasn’t quite love at first sight – we broke up after a few dates. A few weeks later, some organization was sponsoring a Friday night dinner that we both happened to attend. One thing led to another, I walked her home, and we decided to give it another try. A few months later, we broke up again. We were getting serious, she got scared, and I was pissed. A coworker, who I haven’t spoken to in years, convinced me to calm down, give her space, and let her come calling back. Wise words – she called a week later, explained herself, and we were engaged a few months after that. Throw in a bunch of good dates, some great laughs, and several things that are private, and there, in a nutshell, you have our courtship.
People like to give advice and much has been said what it takes to make a good marriage. I’m no expert, so, therefore, I’ll just say what seems to make ours work – well, function at least, is we can laugh together, deal with each other’s wackiness (I have to do most of the dealing – just kidding dear), and share many of the same values. Perhaps the biggest thing for us is we know how and when to give each other space. These are some of our tools which have enabled us to enjoy life together. Now, it’s time for us to write the next chapter in our love story. I’m committed.