“I wanna sleep in your bed.”
“I don’t know.”
“Well, why do you think so?”
“I don’t know. It just is.”
“I think I know what it is.”
“I think you feel safer there.”
“Yeah. I guess so. Plus, I like your blanket. It’s huge.”
It doesn’t take a sick day for SJ to want to sleep in my bed. It also doesn’t take much convincing to get him to sleep in his own bed.
But sometimes, I don’t even try to convince him.
Ms. MMK. says it’s because I can sleep through anything. But she’s wrong. Well, not completely. There have been times when I didn’t realize the children had snuck into our bed till the next morning.
Call my lucky.
However, SJ is old enough and big enough where his presence is felt.
The reason I don’t mind SJ sleeping in my bed is because I know this too shall pass. A couple of years ago, I wrote a post about a night where my kids were coming in and out of my bed. Both of them were going through a phase for a couple of weeks, and it was a rough stretch.
You’ve been there. You know what I mean.
That week a mother I know approached me. She told me she had read the post and liked it. She also told me that one day I’ll miss the kids coming into my bed. She had a wistful look in her eye and sighed audibly. Her youngest was already in high school. I tried to “yeah but” her before finally listening and realizing that she might be right.
I know SJ’s request to sleep in my bed won’t go on forever. Like milk, it has an expiration date. Yet unlike milk, I don’t know when that date is. There is no preparing for it.
It will be imperceptible. It will tweeter out and then be done. It will be the sun setting. One moment it’s above the horizon and the next it’s gone. And no matter how much I miss it or want it back, there will be no encore.
This is how phases go with children. I’ve seen enough already to realize it. Sometimes even talking about the old phase is a no no. SJ goes crazy if we even mention how much he loved Thomas The Tank Engine.
I think sleeping in my bed will fall into that category.
Can you imagine how embarrassed SJ would be if I mentioned it as his Bar Mitzvah?
Or if I shared it with the first girl he brings home?
Or with his college buddies when they crash at our place?
No, once this phase is over it will have to be put aside in all forms. I probably won’t be able to talk about it again without SJ grumbling till he has children of his own. Maybe I’ll laugh about it with him when he tells me his children are sleeping in his bed. Or maybe I’ll tell my grandchildren (feels funny to write that) about how their dad used to sleep in my bed.
As he grows older, his needs from me will change. For now, there are nights when he feels more safe and comfortable in my bed. On those nights, I’m happy to move over and share a safe and comfortable place.