Five Reasons I’m Ready For an Assisted Living Facility

Assisted Living FacilityI’m in my mid-40’s. I’m reasonably healthy and mobile.

Despite this, I’m ready for assisted living. Here’s why.

Maintenance

It’s spring time. That means many different things to people.

For me, Spring means mowing the lawn. I hate mowing the lawn. My lawn is a mixture of brown and green. Short of G-d causing it to rain for 40 straight days and nights, my lawn will remain brown and green. Probably not worth the consequences.

The paint on the foundation of my house is chipping. It needs to be scraped off and repainted. Guess who’s going to do that? There goes a couple of Sundays. Who hoo – can’t wait.

And then there’s the assisted living facilities. Have you ever seen the brochures for those places? The lawns are the greenest of greens and makes you thank G-d, the world is in technicolor.

Then, there’s the foundation. Who notices the foundation on such a place? Not me. We’re good.

So assisted living will assist me with maintenance. Love it!

On Site Facilities

I have a chest cold that has been simmering on a low boil for a few weeks. Mrs. MMK insists I go to the doctor. I’ve resisted. It’s been a source of true joy here as I’m sure you can imagine.

My children constantly have a mop of hair. If the hair is left alone for more than a few weeks, they could pass for Cousin Itt from the Addams Family. Yes, there is some jealousy going on.

At an assisted living facility, they have services available on the premises. I’d never have to leave my home and could have my cold checked out by a doctor. Peace would be restored between Mrs. MMK and I.

And a barber – on the premises too! Say good-bye to Cousin Itt. The boys could get their haircut during the commercials of whatever it is they are watching on Nick or Disney. Hallelujah.

Entertainment

BR has patience for animals, babies, and the elderly. He’ll pick up his head from Youtube, put down his baseball glove, and be attentive when any member of these three groups is around.

SJ lives for Sundays. Why does he enjoy Sundays so much? He gets dressed late and spends hours watching television. He’d watch more if we didn’t drag him outside (or arrange a playdate).

Assisted living facilities have an abundance of elderly people. BR could hang out with them. He would listen attentively to their stories and help them as needed. He would be loved!

If you have ever been in an assisted living facility, you know that there is always a television room. The television goes 24 hours straight. You can often get your food delivered there. This would be SJ’s heaven on Earth!

Meal Planning

I rather enjoy food shopping. However, cooking I could do without. I lack the necessary patience and therefore make the same foods all the time. I think greater creativity on my part would be good for my children. They would become less picky and healthier.

Well, in an assisted living facility, they offer meal plans. I would choose the dinner plan for my family. I would still go food shopping, so I could prepare my family’s breakfast, lunch, and snack needs. In the evenings, we could head on down to the cafeteria. I have no idea what type of food is at the cafeteria at an assisted living facility. However, I figure it’s like those at college. Plenty of options and always fresh salad. Yum!

Overburdened

When’s the last time you talked to someone who said I don’t know what to do with my free time? Seriously, I think the word to sum up our generation is busy. Everyone is always running in a million different directions, trying to get so much done, and is left feeling like they need to accomplish more.

I fall into this category.

You know what would make it better? Help.

And that I could get at an assisted living facility. There’s always someone around. They could help my children with their homework. They could help Mrs. MMK prepare the boy’s lunches. They could help me with researching future projects. We’d keep each other productive – awesome!

Some day, many of us will end up in an assisted living facility. Going might be a downer because we have to go for a health related reason. So, why not go now? Now, it could be a good thing. There are so many benefits.

Pic is courtesy of flickr

15 thoughts on “Five Reasons I’m Ready For an Assisted Living Facility

  1. Sounds to me like a resort would be better now than assisted living, but then again I have been day dreaming about going back to Hawaii so…

  2. Ha, I’m definitely sold! Great post.

    In a couple years when my youngest leaves for college, we’re going to downsize and get a condo or someplace where there is no yard work requirement. Not that I do much yard work (thanks to having teen sons and a great hubby), but I know my hubs would like to move on from it. Now, if I could just get a chef…

    • I’m with you. We will downsize when the kids are out. I don’t see myself as one of those people who clings to their house till their last days.
      The chef – maybe the assisted living could lend you theirs.

  3. That sounds heavenly! No more crowded grocery stores for this girl. No more trying to decide what to make for dinner. And the writing material that can be gathered from seniors is worth it’s weight in gold. I like your thinking.

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