I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again: I’m a neat freak. Being in a clean place makes me happier and more comfortable. What’s wrong with that? Well, I’m sure a few weeks or even months, a comfortable chair, and a highly trained therapist could help me understand why I ‘need’ things to be clean. Well, I don’t need things to be clean, but I certainly do prefer it. And for that reason, I’m glad we have a cleaning lady.
Our cleaning lady, E, comes every two weeks. Based on what I said above, you can guess our house is not especially messy, as we (Mrs. MMK also prefers a clean house) keep it up. So, you would think it be simple when E comes. She would take a relatively clean house (it’s only relatively clean because of the kids. Yup, I’m blaming them) and get to those harder to reach places, etc. and make it even cleaner.
But having E comes is not a simple process. We have to clean for the cleaning lady to come. And the preparations are not simple. There is cleaning involved and deliberate non-cleaning involved. Here’s a sample timeline:
Cleaning for the Cleaning Lady
Three Days Before the arrival of the Cleaning Lady: Mrs. MMK tells BR “E is coming this week. Remember you have to get your baseball cards off the floor in your room.”
Two Days Before the arrival of the Cleaning Lady: Mrs. MMK tells BR “When are you getting your baseball cards off the floor? Remember E is coming on Wednesday.”
One Day Before the arrival of the Cleaning Lady: Mrs. MMK tells yells at BR “Get your baseball cards off the floor? E is coming tomorrow, and she needs to be able to vacuum your floor.”
The morning of the day of the arrival of the Cleaning Lady: Before I leave for morning prayers, I make my bed. When I get back home, I find my bed messed up.
Conversation between Mrs. MMK and I upon my return
MMK: Was someone in my bed?
Mrs. MMK: What are you talking about?
MMK: Well, I made the bed before I left this morning, and it’s all messed up now.
Mrs. MMK: E is coming today.
MMK: Okay. And?
Mrs. MMK: I like the way she makes the beds.
MMK: So, you messed up my bed, so she’ll make the bed?
Mrs. MMK: We have other things to worry about.
MMK: But.. Whatever.
Mrs. MMK: You have to talk to BR. He never cleaned the baseball cards off his floor.
Later, after speaking with BR and getting him to clean up his baseball cards, I’m in the kitchen eating breakfast. Then, a voice calls down. No, it’s not G-d. Wrong post. Pay attention.
Mrs. MMK: Remember to wash your dishes.
MMK: Okay, I will.
Mrs. MMK: Please make sure there’s nothing in the dish rack.
MMK: Why? You said E is coming.
Mrs. MMK: Yes, but if there are dishes in the rack, she doesn’t clean in that area.
MMK: Why don’t you just remind her to?
Mrs. MMK: Would you just put the dishes away?
MMK: Fine. -grumble, grumble.
The End Result
I love when E comes – the house has a nice odor when she leaves and looks so neat and tidy. If money was no option, I’d have her come more often. For the record, I don’t want a museum house. You know the type – it’s so clean and organized it’s as if no one lives there. Now, that’s obsessive.
Anyway, E is also reliable and honest. Because E has been coming to us for a few years now, she is like a friend. Her and Mrs. MMK, in particular, chat in a friendly way. She’s part of our routine.
But I still don’t quite understand cleaning for the cleaning lady.