We all get frustrated with work. We all have those days. You know what I mean, you’ve been there. The thoughts run through your head:
Is vacation ever going to come?
How many more days to retirement?
How hard is it really to rob a bank?
How much money do really I need each month to live?
Can I FINALLY just win the damn lottery?
Then, the next day comes, and we get up in the morning and go about our busy day. Oh well, what choice do we have – it gets better, and besides, as I argue with myself, my kids like to eat.
I wonder if G-d feels like this. He (no, I am not a sexist, but ‘He’ sounds better than the Eternal Heavenly Being) must. How frustrating are we human beings? We make promises, swear, and pray, but do we really change all that much? We are still liars, thieves, killers, etc. There has to be a point where G-d wants to say, ‘what’s the point?’ He already tried the flood and that didn’t straighten us out. He gave us the 10 commandments and a whole lot of commentary, but how many people follow that carefully.
So, what if G-d decided, I’m tired of this job – so much responsibility and so little reward? What if He considered a new job? After all, the average person goes through 5 careers in a lifetime, so why can’t the Eternal being try something new. It’s time. Anyway, I figure He would go for something in construction, after all, he did build the world. Imagine the interview:
Interviewer: So, Mr. – how do you pronounce that name?
G-d: I have many names. Please just call me Mr. G.
Interviewer: Okay. Mr. G. Can you tell me about your relevant experience?
G-d: Well, I made the world.
Interviewer: I hear you buddy. I’ve been around too. Sometimes, it does feel like I built the world. Anyway, can you be more specific?
G-d: First, I made the heavens and the earth…
Interviewer: What do you mean – bridges?
G-d: Something like that. Anyway, I also made man.
Interviewer: Man? Do you mean you were a stay-at-home dad, raising boys?
G-d: Well, I am with all my children all the time.
Interviewer: You sound like a real family man.
G-d: You could say that.
Interviewer: We appreciate that around here, but we need people who can be flexible with their hours.
G-d: I am very flexible – I can work morning, day, or night, or any combination. However, I don’t work weekends.
Interviewer: Family time.
G-d: Religious needs.
Interviewer: I understand. Do you have any questions for me?
G-d: Thank you, but no. I have the answers.
Interviewer: Okay. We’ll, be in touch.
G-d: Thank you.
Unless he pulled some strings, I’m not so sure G-d would get that job. He might have to go back to his original job. After all, is that so bad? He could make tomorrow a better day. If we really put our heads to it, maybe we all can.
It’s Spring. Yes, I know it does not officially begin till Wednesday, but let’s call a spade a spade. Here on the East Coast at least, we escaped the harsh winters we are used to and the snow of the last two winters. It was downright mild for the most of the winter. Not that I am complaining. I’ve told my wife on multiple occasions that I am the type who retires to Florida. Anyway, I kept waiting for another cold spell and even snow. I braced myself for the coming frigid weather. I repeatedly checked out weather.com and clicked on the 10-day forecast. I skimmed the information looking for those evil 20’s and teens but lo and behold they rarely appeared. What about snow? Are we getting snow? Nope, not that either. (To be honest, I would like a snow day – for my kids’ sake of course).
The temperatures are only one reason I hate winter. The biggest reason is I am a Winter loser. Well, what I mean by that is the winter magnifies one of my worst traits. I tend to lose things (unfortunately, this seems to be another one of those traits I have passed down. I think my son’s school is going to rename the lost and found after him. We still can’t find his winter coat). I go through 2-3 lunch bags a school year, have lost multiple thumb drives, misplaced glasses, etc. In fact, if you could line up everything I lost, Hansel and Gretel could go on 200-mile hike. What they would see the most along their hike are gloves and hats. Ahh, now you see one of my biggest problems with winter. In winter in particular, I am a loser. I need to buy disposable hats and gloves like some people buy disposable contact lenses.
Last year over Chanukah, my wife got me a decent pair of gloves. She was disappointed at my reaction to the gift. I looked at them and saw pressure. What if I lost them? If – who am I kidding – when I lost them, my wife would be reminded of this failing yet again. While she doesn’t think me perfect – that ended by the end of the first date – I still have some dignity. Anyway, I lost them and bought two more pairs. Despite this stocking up, by the time the dreaded season ended, I was wearing 2 left-handed gloves. It was part of my stance against personal waste.
This winter, this mild winter, I once again got gloves for the holidays. This time my wife gave me three inexpensive pairs along with matching hats. I am proud to say I only lost one hat (that was last year’s replacement hat) and one glove. Is it pathetic to feel proud and view this lack of loss as an example of growth and accomplishment? I think not. So as I take stock this Spring, I feel pretty darn good. After all, I am the proud owner of hats and gloves. I won!